


Arthur Reversed

by AlbusGellertAlways



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Magic, Canon Era, Complete, Established Relationship, F/M, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Sort Of, Teen Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Underage Kissing, not M/A, not actually rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-06-06 01:14:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 43,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15183512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlbusGellertAlways/pseuds/AlbusGellertAlways
Summary: One morning, Merlin finds a surprise in Queen Guinevere's bed.   Thirty year-old King Arthur's age has been reversed, leaving behind a pompous teenage boy, who has no memory of his former life.  Can Merlin and Morgana reverse Arthur's age without damaging him?  And can Merlin justify erasing this teenage Arthur, who is starting to fall for Merlin?





	1. The Prat Returns

Disclaimer:  Merlin is not mine.

A/N:  I’m back, and I come bearing de-aged fic!  My husband suggested ‘A Teen In King Arthur’s Court’ as a title but I vetoed that.  He’s a nerd.  This fits in with my _Merlin’s Struggles_ universe but can easily be read alone. 

A/N2:  So I added the ‘underage’ tag.  I don’t endorse underage relationships in RL.  This is a fiction story, and the ‘rules’ are a bit different, as people married much earlier in medieval times and Arthur is technically in a relationship with Merlin, even if he doesn’t remember.  Merlin does not take advantage of Arthur.

I think I’m being conservative by putting the rating at Mature, but I did it just in case.  _There will be no sex between M/A_.   This story is more about the boys pining and processing their feelings.   If this tag puts you off, don’t read.  Thanks!

Now, back to Merlin and Arthur!

.~.

Arthur Reversed

.~.

Chapter One: The Prat Returns

 

“Aughhhhh!”  Gwen’s scream resounded throughout the King’s chambers, rudely awakening Merlin and Lance who slept in the adjacent adjoining room.  Their sleeping arrangements helped hide the fact that Gwen and Lance were lovers, and that the king and court sorcerer were also together.

Merlin sat up in bed, his heart pounding as he reached out with his magic.   The warlock’s first thought was for Arthur’s safety, and then secondly that of Gwen’s.  Thankfully, all Merlin could detect was two familiar energy signatures in the next room – there was no other threat present. 

Both Merlin and Lance bolted to their feet, not bothering to pull their shirts on, ready to protect Camelot’s queen and king.   They knew Gwen wouldn’t scream unless it was something terrible. 

“Merlin?” Lance cried.

“I dunno, I’m not sensing anything,” Merlin informed him as they headed for the door.  

Merlin and Lance burst into the adjoining darkened chamber.  Lance had his sword at the ready, and Merlin’s magic crackled from his fingertips.

Merlin skidded to a stop in front of the king’s massive bed, illuminating all the candles in the room with a wave of his hand. 

Lance quickly joined him, shock coursing through his veins as he saw the reason for Gwen’s scream.

They discovered Gwen sitting up in bed, clutching a blanket over her silk white nightgown.  She was ferociously glaring at a young blonde boy who occupied the space next to her in the bed.  “He groped me in my sleep!” The queen declared.

Merlin and Lance exchanged a glance, stumped by this turn of events.  How had a boy gotten into the king’s chambers without them realizing it?

“Huh,” said the boy, his eyes raking over Gwen’s nightgown-clad form.  “I don’t usually go for older women, but I suppose you’re attractive enough,” said the boy with a shrug.  “What’s your name again?”

Gwen winced at the thinly veiled insult.   “How did a little thing like _you_ get in my bed?  Where the hell is Arthur?”

Merlin looked at the boy, really looked.   A sinking feeling welled up in Merlin’s stomach.  He recognized those clear blue eyes anywhere.  He reached out with his magic to be sure.  “Gwen, he _is_ Arthur,” Merlin proclaimed, not without trepidation.

“Of course I’m Arthur, who else would I be?”  The boy sneered at Merlin.  “Your stupidity astounds me.”

“Holy shit, you’re right, Merlin,” Lance breathed, recognizing the timbre of the king’s voice.   Then he turned to the boy.  “How old are you?”

Arthur crossed his arms and cocked his head.  “Who the hell are you lot?”

“I’m Merlin, and this is Lancelot.”  Merlin just stared at Arthur.  He wondered how this could’ve happened, how Arthur suddenly had regressed to what looked like half his original age.

Arthur waved his hand at that.  “Whoever you are, you can’t speak to the prince of Camelot like that.  I could put you in the stocks, or worse.”

“The p-prince?” Lance stuttered.   “How can that be?”

Merlin, Lance, and Gwen all shared a look of fear.  It seemed the Arthur they knew and loved had vanished, leaving this young version of the king as a replacement. 

“What are you all staring at?” Arthur snapped.  “Come on, speak up.”

“Nothing, Sire,” said Merlin, recovering first.  “Tell me how old you are.”

Arthur scoffed at that.  “What is _wrong_ with you?  Do you have a mental affliction?  How could you not remember my fourteenth birthday feast last night?”

“I’ll bet you hated it,” Merlin said without thinking.

Young Arthur’s eyes grew wide with fear for just a second, before his façade returned.  “How could I hate a feast thrown in my honor?”

“Because you think you’re the reason for your mother’s death,” Merlin said calmly. 

“Riiight,” said Arthur, although Merlin noted he did not deny it.   “Tell me why you’re in my room or else I’ll call the guards.”

“Um…”  Merlin thought hard.  How could he explain this to a young Arthur?

But then Arthur looked around and frowned as he took in the surroundings.  “Wait.  This isn’t my room – my bed’s not this big.  This is my father’s room!”  He frowned, genuinely puzzled by this circumstance.  “Why am I here?  Where’s Father?”

“Your father’s not here right now,” said Merlin, exchanging a worried look with Gwen and Lance.   “Arthur, this is going to be hard to hear, but you must listen to me.  Right now you’re under a sp-”

Arthur rudely cut him off.  “I don’t want to hear it.  I know Father must’ve sent you because he thinks I’m too young to bed women.  Well, you can tell him that I’ve already bedded three.  Four now, by the looks of it.”  Arthur smirked at Gwen, who gritted her teeth.  Arthur studied her face more closely. “You know, you look really familiar.   Morgana has a young maid named Guinevere and you look like you could be her older sister.  Are you related?”

“Arthur, I _am_ Guinevere,” she informed him.

“But you can’t be her.  Gwen is my age,” Arthur protested, glancing around the room, his gaze ending on Merlin.  “I don’t understand.”

“Arthur, you and Gwen have been married for five years,” Merlin said gravely.  “You’re the king and she’s the queen.  You’re supposed to be thirty years old.  Somehow, your age has been reversed.  I’m certain sorcery is responsible, but I’m not sure how or why.”

“I’m the _king_?” Arthur gaped at him.  “How can that be?”   Arthur turned his patented glare on them.   “I don’t trust a word you are saying.   I demand to see my father!”

“He’s not here,” Merlin repeated, dreading having to tell this Arthur that his father was long dead.  “How about you see Morgana instead?”   Merlin had already called his apprentice with his mind, urging her to hurry to the king’s chambers.

Arthur rolled his eyes.  “Like I’d trust anything that harpy would say.”  He returned his attention to Gwen.   “I’m afraid I don’t remember anything about last night.  I imagine you serviced me, right?”  Arthur winked at her, but was cowed by Gwen’s murderous stare.  “What? It’s an honor to share the prince’s bed.”

“You can’t speak to her that way,” Lance rushing, rushing to defend the queen.  “Take it back, you little-”

“Lance,” Merlin said wearily, automatically stepping between the knight and Arthur.  “You’re not helping.  It’s not his fault.”

Arthur gave them a smug look.  “Look, Lance _lot_ , I’m the prince of Camelot.  I can do or say whatever I wish unless Father says otherwise.”

“Was he always like this?” Lancelot gaped at Merlin. 

“No.  Arthur, I’m glad I didn’t know you when you were fourteen,” Merlin muttered.  “You’re even more of a pompous, entitled prat.  I definitely would’ve killed you!”

“The feeling’s mutual,” Arthur glared at him.  “Don’t act like you know me – you don’t.”

Merlin looked away, trying to mask his hurt feelings.

Lance and Gwen both shot Arthur furious looks and the young teen didn’t know why. 

Luckily for Merlin, Morgana arrived a few seconds later, still in her white nightgown.  Her wavy black hair was sticking up in all directions.  “Merlin, what was so important that-”  Morgana’s eyes widened as she took in the scene.  “ _Arthur_?” she shrieked, as her magic identified the boy before her as her half-brother.   “Merlin, why the hell does he look that young?”

“I think it’s a reverse aging spell,” Merlin suggested.  “Not sure what caused it though.”

“Oh, is that all?” Morgana chuckled.  “Then we can just use our magic and-”

Merlin, Lance, and Gwen all frantically shook their heads, but the cat was out of the bag.

“Magic?” Arthur snarled, rounding on her as he spouted anti-magical rhetoric.  “Morgana you can’t talk like that – it’s treason.  Magic corrupts even the best of men.”   Arthur frowned again, as if noticing her for the first time.   “Why do you look so _old_?”

“Oh, shit,” Morgana realized, a moment too late.  “You don’t remember any of your old life.”

Merlin was impressed that Morgana didn’t erupt at the ‘old’ comment.  Usually she was very sensitive about her appearance.  The fact that Morgana hadn’t brought it up showed just how serious the situation was.

“Remember what?”  Arthur frowned.  “Why are you lot still staring at me like that?”

“Arthur, you trust me, right?” Morgana asked. 

Arthur shrugged.  “I guess it depends on the day.  You’re quite good at manipulating me, so forgive me if I don’t believe everything you say.”

“Arthur, you have to listen to me,” Morgana said, her voice sounding grave.   “You’re supposed to be thirty years old.  Right now you’re the king of Camelot.  I know you don’t remember, but I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Arthur bit his lip as he considered this information.   “If I’m the king, that means my father is…”

Morgana’s expression turned to one of pity.  “He’s dead, yes.”

“You can’t joke about that, Morgana.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, gently placing her hand on Arthur’s shoulder.  “It’s the truth.”

“But…” Arthur’s lower lip trembled for a moment, his frightened expression unnerving Merlin.  Arthur’s ‘panic face’ hadn’t surfaced for years.  “I’m not ready.  This can’t be happening!”

Merlin’s heart went out to Arthur as he struggled to comprehend the situation.   Finally, he saw a glimpse of _his_ Arthur, of the king’s vulnerability.  All Merlin wanted was to pull Arthur close and comfort him, but he knew that gesture wouldn’t be well received.

“Merlin and I will find a way to remove the spell,” Morgana vowed.  “But that could take weeks.  Until we can return you to your real age, we’ll have to come up with an explanation for why you look so young and why King Arthur isn’t here.”

Arthur stared at her.   “Morgana, stop talking about magic.”  He shivered, looking over his shoulder for Uther, even though he was apparently dead.  “It’s forbidden.”

“It’s not forbidden, not anymore,” Morgana informed him.  She proudly smiled at him.    

“It’s not?”  Arthur’s brow furrowed.  “But magic is evil!”

“You changed the law against magic, Arthur,” Gwen jumped in.  “And we were ever so grateful for it.”

“It was the best thing you’ve done as king, in my opinion,” said Lance, nodding his head. 

“But why would I do that?” Arthur looked wildly around the room. 

“I have magic, Arthur,” Morgana tried to gently break the news.  “It manifested years ago.”

“You do?” Arthur shivered.  “Do you use it to kill people?”

“I do what I have to do to keep Camelot safe,” Morgana admitted.  “But no, I usually don’t have to kill anyone.  Magic can be used for wonderful things!  Healing and transformations and-”

Wincing, Arthur cut her off.  “So I changed the law to keep you safe?”

The four adults exchanged knowing glances. 

“You also changed it to keep _me_ safe,” Merlin offered, his expression unreadable.

“Who are you again?” Arthur cocked his head, as if trying to place Merlin.  He gave the warlock the onceover.  “Your fancy black robes make it look like you’re someone of importance.”

“Oh, he is,” Morgana said slyly.

“I’m your court sorcerer,” Merlin said hastily, shooting Morgana a dirty look.  “You appointed me to this position as soon as the law was repealed.”

“You’re my _what_?” Arthur cried.   “No, it’s not possible.   I must be enchanted,” he muttered to himself.  “How can I trust that anything you say is real?”

“Let me show you,” said Merlin.  He hoped that using magic wouldn’t backfire.  It might turn Arthur against him, but at this point he had to try something. 

The warlock’s eyes flashed gold as Merlin conjured a memory of he and Arthur, not two weeks ago playfully wrestling in the courtyard, the knights urging them on.  Merlin immobilized Arthur with his magic but instead of getting angry, Arthur simply laughed and proclaimed that Merlin was cheating.   Then Arthur yielded and asked Merlin to let him up.  Merlin immediately removed his invisible grip on the king and pulled Arthur to his feet.  They stared at each other fondly, their gaze holding for just moment too long.

The teenaged Arthur gasped as the magical memory dissolved before his eyes.  “You could be making that up,” he said, but his uncertainty was wavering.

“That really happened, Arthur,” Morgana insisted.  “Besides, why would we lie?  Is there any other explanation as to why you’re so young and the rest of us aren’t?”

To Merlin’s relief, Arthur decided to listen.  “Alright.  Say I believe you.  What do we do now?”

“First off, you’ll need a protector,” said Morgana, sharing a knowing look with Merlin. 

“I do not!” Arthur scoffed, puffing out his chest in an attempt to look intimidating.  “I can take care of myself.”

Merlin shook his head.  “I appreciate your enthusiasm, but even when you were the best swordsman in the land, you couldn’t defend yourself from magical attacks.  That’s where I come in.”

“I become the best swordsman in the land?” Arthur sounded delighted.  “Brilliant!”

“Yes, but you’re not there yet,” Merlin reminded him.  “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Oh, it definitely will,” said Morgana, rolling her eyes.  Then a familiar smirk graced her elegant features.  “I know how to take you down a notch.  I think that Merlin should be the one to take care of you while you’re in this state.”

“What?”  Arthur cried, glaring at Merlin.  “No way I’m getting stuck with _him_.  Besides, Gwen’s my wife.”  Arthur turned to Gwen, giving her a pleading look.  “I’d rather stay with you.”

“Arthur, I don’t think that would be very appropriate,” Gwen said firmly.

“Why not?  We’re married, aren’t we?”  
  
Merlin sighed.  "Arthur, you're so transparent.  She's _not_ going to sleep with you.  You're only fourteen for god sakes!"  
  
Arthur looked only mildly disappointed.  "It was worth a try."  
  
"Is sex really all you think about?" Merlin frowned.  “Your thirty-year-old self isn’t nearly that immature.”    
  
Arthur shrugged.   “That wasn’t true for you when you were fourteen?”

“I was a little busy trying to hide my magic so I wouldn’t get killed,” Merlin remembered.   “I certainly wasn’t sexually active when I was fourteen!”  He shook his head at Arthur.

“I’m not surprised, with those ears,” Arthur retorted. 

Morgana couldn’t stifle a snort at that and Gwen stifled a laugh behind her hand.

“Not helping, Morgana,” Merlin growled.  Then he turned to Arthur.  “I don’t want to hear any more details about your sex life.” 

He really didn’t, not from _this_ Arthur.  When they’d first gotten together, Arthur had told Merlin of his few fumblings with men.  The king also alluded to having a colorful past with women, but Arthur had seemed embarrassed about it so Merlin hadn’t pushed him to elaborate.  Now, Merlin was starting to get a better picture of Arthur’s prowess with women.  Merlin supposed that, as prince, he had a much easier time of it than most boys his age.  But he didn’t like to think about Arthur being with others.   Once again, Merlin wished that his beloved Arthur would return. 

“I don’t only think about sex,” Arthur insisted.  “I have to really focus when during weapons training.  Already I can best a few of the older knights.  Like you said, I’m on track to be the best swordsman in the land."  
  
"Your humility astounds me, Sire," said Merlin, shaking his head in disgust as he regarded the young prince.  "You're nothing like..."  The sorcerer trailed off.  
  
"The older Arthur?" The prince offered.      
  
Merlin nodded.  "But that's not your fault," he was quick to add.

Arthur tried to stifle a yawn, but he didn’t quite succeed. 

“Merlin, I suggest that you take Arthur back to your room,” Gwen said diplomatically.  “Lancelot can sleep on the floor, here with me.   I’d prefer that I get a few more hours of sleep before I address the council tomorrow.”

Arthur gaped at her.  “I let a _woman_ on the council?  Did I allow pigs and sheep too?”

Morgana and Gwen looked scandalized.

“Merlin, can I castrate him?” Morgana growled. 

“I’d rather you didn’t,” said Merlin.  Hoping to head off a fight, the warlock conjured a ball of white floating light, effectively startling Morgana and Gwen.  

“Say goodnight, Arthur.” Illuminating their way, he dragged Arthur out of the bed.  Merlin yanked on his arm and pulled the boy into the adjoining room.  He shut the door with magic, effectively trapping Arthur inside.

“Get in,” Merlin tersely ordered, motioning towards one of the beds. 

A smirking Arthur made no move to do so.

“Don’t test me, Arthur,” Merlin’s voice wavered, his fists clenched at his sides as magic coursed through him, seeking release.  “Sometimes my dark magic happens to manifest when I’m angry.”

It seemed even a young Arthur had some preservation skills.  Arthur climbed into one of the two small beds that sat side by side.   He quizzically stared at Merlin, who climbed into his own bed. 

“What?” Merlin snapped, his temper raising its ugly head.  The warlock was way past the breaking point.   The loss of his Arthur coupled with his prattish replacement had been almost too much.  “Do you have another derogatory comment about my ears?”

But Arthur surprised him yet again.  "You really miss him, huh?"  He said knowingly.   
  
Merlin slowly regarded the young prince.  Even at this age, Arthur could be very perceptive.  
  
"Yes," Merlin admitted, not seeing any reason to lie.  “I miss him.”  
  
"Were you close?"  
  
Merlin's heart ached for his lover, wherever he was.  What if the real Arthur never came back and Merlin was stuck with this teenaged version?  Merlin couldn’t think about that right now.  
  
"He’s my best friend," Merlin said, his expression unreadable.  
  
"You and me, best friends?" Arthur snorted.  "I find that very hard to believe.  You grate on my last nerve."  
  
"It wasn't easy at the beginning," Merlin admitted.  "You threw me in the dungeons on my first day in Camelot.  You were a right prat."  
  
Arthur scowled and crossed his arms.  "What did you do?"  
  
Merlin grinned.  "I called you an ass in front of your friends.  Among other things."  
  
"Definitely a jail worthy offense,” Arthur agreed.  "I'm the prince - no one can speak to me that way, especially in public."  
  
"I can, with the elder Arthur," Merlin said defiantly.  “He doesn’t care – he likes it even.  He treats me like an equal.”  
  
Arthur wrinkled his nose.  "I must be getting senile in my old age."  
  
"Thirty is _not_ old!" Merlin protested.  "Good lord.  You're such a child."  
  
"I'm not!" Arthur argued.  "Some girls in the lower town marry at my age!  I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."  
  
Merlin doubled over with laughter.  "You could barely function without me when you were eighteen.  I'd love to see what you're like now."  
  
"Without _you_?"  Arthur chuckled.  “Why’d you say that?”  
  
"I was your manservant,” Merlin informed him.  “Your father appointed me after I saved your life."  
  
Arthur's eyes widened.  "What? You've got to be joking.  My father would never allow a sorcerer to serve me."  
  
"He didn't know," Merlin explained.  "I kept my magic a secret.  I wanted to tell you so badly after we became friends but I didn't have the courage."  
  
"Oh," Arthur said glumly.  "Good thing you didn't.  I would've turned you into my father."  
  
"That's what I thought at first," said Merlin.  "But when Arthur finally did find out, he was the most upset about me lying to him.  He wished that I had trusted him."  
  
"I never trust anyone," Arthur said quietly.  "Everyone always wants something from me."  
  
"Surely you have friends," said Merlin.  
  
Arthur shook his head.  “I only have acquaintances.”  
  
"What about Leon?"  Merlin remembered that Arthur had grown up with the curly-haired knight.  
  
"He's nice, but I think he's afraid of me.  Or my father.  Or maybe both."  Arthur shrugged.  "Everyone knows that I don't have friends.  My father says it's better that way, that way I don't have anyone betray me."  
  
“I’m your friend,” said Merlin.  “Or, at least, I’m Arthur’s friend.”

Arthur sighed.   “I don’t think I’d know what to do with a friend.”

“That’s why you needed me to show you,” said Merlin.  Perhaps this Arthur wasn’t that annoying after all, he was just emotionally stifled.  “Now, let’s get some sleep.  We’ll need to be on our toes tomorrow to keep this under wraps.”

“You’re not the boss of me,” Arthur muttered but he lay down anyway.  The young prince turned over on his side, facing away from Merlin.  He didn’t speak again.

The warlock dismissed his ball of light, ready to catch a few more hours of sleep before having to face this in the morning.  Merlin supposed that being ignored was better than being on the receiving end of Arthur’s scathing remarks.  It had been so long since Arthur had acted like this, Merlin had almost forgotten what that had been like.  He much preferred _his_ Arthur.  His king’s insults were always tempered with gentle teasing, with an undercurrent of appreciation.

Merlin listened to Arthur toss and turn for a good while before murmuring a sleeping spell.  Arthur dropped right off, leaving Merlin to lay awake and stare at the ceiling.  How could he fix this?  He had no spells in mind to reverse Arthur’s age and was afraid to try.  What if he cast a spell on Arthur and it backfired?  What if instead of returning Arthur to his normal state, this teenage immature Arthur remained?   Merlin only hoped that Morgana and his magic students could help him solve this aging mystery because he didn’t want to live in a world without his beloved Arthur.

.~.

End Chapter One

A/N: What’d you think?  Questions and comments accepted!


	2. Different Yet The Same

 

 

Disclaimer:  Merlin is not mine.

A/N:  Thanks for all the comments and kudos!  I love it.  Now on with the show.

.~.

Chapter Two: Different Yet The Same

.~.  
  
Merlin groaned as he was shaken awake.  He wasn’t quite ready to get up just yet, not wanting to leave the warm cocoon of blankets.  He’d had the strangest dream about Arthur being turned into a fourteen-year-old and hitting on Gwen, who had screamed bloody murder.  It had seemed so real.  Merlin wondered why he’d dreamed such a thing.  Perhaps it was a result of overworking himself at the magic school.  Maybe he should cut back his hours. 

“Merlin, wake up,” Arthur’s voice demanded.  “Come on, now.”

But Merlin just turned back over, pulling the covers over his head.  “Arthur, it’s too early,” he whined. 

Suddenly, Merlin was unexpectedly chilled.  He knew at once what had happened.  “Very funny, Arthur. Stop stealing the covers!”

Merlin turned over to face his king but found the unwelcome sight of a slightly shorter, slightly thinner, slightly more baby-faced Arthur.  All the color drained from Merlin’s face as he realized that his Arthur was nowhere to be found.  It seemed that Merlin’s dream hadn’t been a dream at all. 

The teenaged Arthur stood over him, looking concerned.   “You alright?”

“Not really,” Merlin said truthfully, climbing out of bed and dressing himself.  He realized he’d have to face this waking nightmare.    

“Sorry to disappoint you,” Arthur said flippantly, but Merlin could tell he was crushed by Merlin’s honesty.  “I’m sorry I’m not him.”

Merlin sighed, not wanting to hurt any version of Arthur.  “It’s not your fault,” the warlock tried to reassure him and then change the subject.  “Did you sleep well?”

Arthur didn’t fall for it.  “This is hard for me too, you know.”

“I know,” said Merlin.  He wanted to reach out to Arthur, wanted to touch him, but the warlock didn’t think the effort would be well received.  It had taken several months for Arthur to accept even the friendliest touches.

“I don’t know how to fit in here,” said Arthur, his eyes betraying the fear that his schooled expression was trying to hide.  “Everything has changed.”

“Not everything,” Merlin insisted.  “Don’t worry, I’ll stay with you, show you the ropes, so to speak.”

 Arthur argued on principal, even though they both knew he needed Merlin’s help.  “I don’t need a nursemaid, Merlin.”

Merlin tried to think of an excuse as why he needed to remain at Arthur’s side that would appease the teenager’s pride.  “I need to be nearby in case someone tries to off you."

Arthur made a face.  "Has that actually happened?"  
  
"Too many times," Merlin said, sounding weary.  "I've lost count how many times I've saved your life over the years."  
  
"With magic?"  
  
"Of course," said Merlin.  “How else would I protect you?  I’m pants at swordplay without my gift.”    
  
"I can't believe I changed the law," Arthur mused.  "Sorcerers are evil and they will only take advantage of your good nature."  
  
Merlin rolled his eyes.  "That's your father talking.  I guess you’ve got a few years left to grow up and learn to think for yourself."  
  
"Why did I do it?" Arthur pressed.  "I know it was because of Morgana, but I could've just pardoned her.  Why did I go to all the trouble?"  
  
Merlin looked away, crossing his arms as he remembered the night Arthur had promised to change the law after pressing a gentle kiss to the warlock’s forehead.  "You did it because I asked you to.  And because you knew it was the right thing to do."  
  
"You have that much influence over me?" Arthur looked skeptical.  "I suppose I could've just pardoned you as well, though I don’t know why I’d ever do such a thing."  
  
"After a few years of knowing me, you realized that not all magic users are evil.  That was the catalyst behind the change."  Merlin left out the part about Arthur wanting to keep his lover safe, to make it legal for him to practice magic and not have to hide.  
  
"This is a lot to process," Arthur admitted.  
  
"I don't doubt it," said Merlin.  "I wish I knew a way to make this easier on you."  
  
Then Arthur brightened.  "Can I see Gaius?  He might cheer me up."  
  
Merlin bowed his head, hating to be the bearer of bad news.  "Gaius is dead.  He passed three years ago."  
  
"Oh," Arthur said in a small voice.  "What about my uncle Agravaine?"  
  
Merlin shook his head, but offered no explanation, not wanting to get into Agravaine’s betrayal.  
  
"Leon?"  
  
Merlin grinned.  "Yes, he’s here.  He’s Sir Leon now.  And married to Morgana."  
  
"What?" Arthur cried.  "Morgana won't give Leon the time of day.  So much has changed."  He looked very small and frightened at that moment.  "What are we going to tell my subjects?"  
  
"I'm not sure," said Merlin.  "We can claim that the king has an infectious disease for a few days and needs to be quarantined, but after that, I have no idea."

Arthur defiantly glared at him.  "I hate that idea.  You can't keep me here against my will.  I'm the king, for godsakes!"  
  
Merlin raised his eyebrows.  "I really wouldn't try to pull rank on me.  As Court Sorcerer, I could immobilize you with a mere thought."  
  
Arthur couldn’t repress a shiver at that.  “Please, Merlin?  I’ll go mad cooped in here.  Would the old Arthur want to be cooped up in his room all day?”  
  
“No, he would not," Merlin sighed.  "I guess I'll take you with me today.”

“Good,” Arthur said, sounding smug.   “I knew you’d see it my way.”

Merlin would’ve appreciated a thank you, but he wasn’t expecting any miracles.  "We'll stop by the kitchens first.  I know you must be hungry."  If their breakfast hadn’t arrived by now, Merlin assumed that Gwen had cancelled it, not wanting a servant to find out the truth about Arthur.   Apparently they’d have to go get it themselves.

Arthur’s stomach gurgled in response, and so they set off towards the kitchens.  
  
Merlin led, although they both knew Arthur knew the way in his sleep.  Although this Arthur irritated Merlin beyond belief, it was interesting to get a glimpse at Arthur's younger self.   He couldn’t wait to tease the real Arthur about it, after he found a way to return Arthur to his actual age.

They quickly arrived at the kitchens, with Arthur marveling at the recent magically enhanced expansion.  
  
"Morning, Grunhilda," Merlin announced, entering the kitchens with Arthur trailing behind.   
  
"Lord Merlin!" The cook gasped and gave a small bow.  "I haven't seen you 'round in ages."  
  
"It's just Merlin," said the sorcerer with a smile.  “I’ll have to come by more often.”

“The self-heating pots have done wonders for me and the other servants,” said Grunhilda.  “And the expansion has made it so we aren’t stumbling over each other any longer.  You truly are a miracle worker.”

"Glad I could help,” Merlin said easily.  “Would it be too much trouble if I took these?"  He indicated two breakfast trays that sat on one of the counters which featured eggs, sausage, and fruit.  
  
"’Course you can take them," the cook replied.  Then she noticed Arthur.  "Who’s this?”  She leered at Arthur.  “Innit he handsome."  
  
Arthur stared at her in absolute horror, hoping that the cook didn’t recognize him.  
  
Merlin chewed on his bottom lip as he tried to think of an excuse to explain Arthur’s presence.  
  
"He kinda looks like the king, you know?" The cook realized.  
  
"With Uther's libido, who knows?" Merlin joked.  The warlock prayed this would work.  Redirecting with humor often got him out of sticky situations, but the cook was as sharp as a tack.  
  
Arthur opened his mouth to retaliate but Merlin had struck him dumb.  Arthur glared at the sorcerer, who innocently smiled back.  
  
"Speaking of Uther, how much better has life been for you since Arthur took the crown?" Merlin asked, deftly changing the subject.  
  
Grunhilda's eyes clouded over.  "Uther hung my husband. Said Henry had magic, even though I know he'd never..."  
  
"I'm sorry I brought it up," Merlin said, feeling uncomfortable.  
  
"It's alright, my lord.  King Arthur has been a godsend.  My nephew has a bit of magic and thanks to the king, it's safe for him to live here.  Before King Arthur did away with the law..." the cook shuddered.  "We never knew who would be accused of having magic next.  It's nice not having to live in fear."  
  
"I couldn't agree more."  Merlin took a bite of one of the freshly baked bread.  "Tasty as ever," he remarked.    
  
"I'll never forget it when King Arthur pardoned my son from stealing a flagon of ale from our neighbor."  The cook had to stifle a sob.  "My boy’s a simpleton, he didn't know what he was doing.  King Arthur is as wise as he is powerful."

The young Arthur couldn’t help but preen at the indirect compliment.  
  
"I'll have to tell him you said that," said Merlin, hoping he could do just that when his Arthur returned.  
  
"You tell that king of yours that I'm happy to serve him, you hear?"  
  
Merlin grinned.  "I will."  He dragged an astonished Arthur out of the kitchens and into an out of the way alcove so that they could eat their breakfast undisturbed. 

Arthur exploded as soon as they sat their breakfast trays down.    
  
"What the hell?  She's happy to serve me?”  Arthur couldn’t believe his ears.  “Grunhilda has hated me ever since she caught me stealing one of her apple pies.  Also, she tells everyone who will listen that she hates her job."  
  
"Now do you believe me?" Merlin asked.    
  
Arthur wrinkled his nose.  "She did look older and the kitchen has practically doubled in size.  I can't think of anything else that would make her act that way.  Unless you enchanted her.  You've already proven that you could if you wanted to."  
  
"Arthur, I swear to you, I haven't enchanted anyone, least of all you.  I _wouldn't_."  Merlin pleaded.    
  
Arthur stared at Merlin, could almost feel his sincerity.  "My father's libido?  Seriously, Merlin?"  
  
Merlin shrugged.  "I couldn't think of a better way of explaining you.  It worked, didn’t it?"  
  
Arthur frowned.  "It’s treason.  My father doesn’t have bastards running about the castle."  
  
Not certain if Arthur knew Morgana's true parentage at this age, Merlin declined to comment.  
  
Then Arthur asked him the one question that Merlin had been hoping to avoid answering.  "Why did the cook say 'that king of yours'?"  
  
Merlin groaned.  Arthur _would_ pick up on that.  "Some people think that the king and I are involved because we spend so much time together."  
  
"Why didn't you set her straight?"  
  
"Arthur and I decided it was best not to respond to idle gossip.  We can't address every rumor that is spread about him or Queen Guinevere."  
  
Arthur seemed to buy that.  "So how did I end up marrying Guinevere when she's just a servant?"  
  
"Ask her," said Merlin, not wanting to get into that complicated issue.  "Is it really so beneath you to consider falling in love with a servant?"  
  
Arthur could tell it was a loaded question, but he didn't know why.  "I suppose I could look past it, if they were good in bed."  
  
"Ugh, you're impossible!" Merlin exploded.  "Your older self is _nothing_ like you are today."  
  
Arthur smirked at that.  "So I'm boring when I'm an adult?"  
  
"No, you actually care about others' feelings.”  Merlin shook his finger at Arthur, expressing the disapproval that had been welling up inside.  “You see people for who they are, not how best that they can serve you.  Not to mention you're not obsessed with sowing your wild oats."  
  
Arthur shook his head.  "I can't believe I tied myself down, even though Guinevere is very..."  
  
Merlin's murderous glare halted Arthur's speech.  
  
"She's very nice," Arthur allowed, not wanting a lewd remark to disappoint Merlin, although he had no idea why.  He wasn’t friends with the sorcerer, and never would be, even though his future self seemed to be very close to Merlin.   
  
"Is the idea of monogamy so repugnant to you?"  Merlin asked softly.  “Don’t you want to find someone who makes it worth getting out of bed every morning, someone who makes you better, someone who loves you for exactly who you are?”  
  
"I know what happened to my father when he fell in love," Arthur said quietly.  "And when he lost my mum, he let his emotions get the best of him.  Hundreds of people were slaughtered."  
  
Merlin didn't know what to say to that.  
  
"So no, falling in love is not something I want to risk."  Arthur looked away.  "I won't hurt my people the way he did."  
  
"I didn't know you felt that way at fourteen."  Truly, Merlin hadn’t.   He’d assumed Arthur had come to that realization when he’d been much older.  
  
"I'm not stupid, Merlin."  Arthur sounded older than his years.  "My father kills without provocation.  I won't be like him."  
  
"You won’t be," Merlin said quietly, but didn’t elaborate, not wanting to tell this Arthur too much about his future.

Arthur took the break in the conversation to start on his breakfast. 

Merlin ate as well, enjoying the companionable silence.  He paid extra attention to how Arthur ate.  This Arthur inhaled his food, barely chewed his bites of sausage before starting on the eggs.  Try as he might, Merlin couldn’t remember Arthur ever eating quite this fast.  Even when Arthur was starving, he had a faint air of dignity that he maintained when he ate.   Merlin couldn’t find that air anywhere in this teenaged Arthur. 

Then Arthur pushed away his tray.  To Merlin’s surprise, he didn’t speak until Merlin had finished eating his own breakfast.

Then Arthur’s expression turned to one of pleading. 

Merlin knew this face well; it was one Arthur used on him to get something he wanted.  Often, Arthur used it when they were in bed. 

Arthur placed his hands on Merlin’s shoulders and looked deep into Merlin’s eyes.  It was all Merlin could do to keep from kissing him, as the young Arthur so reminded the sorcerer of his beloved. 

"Can I visit the training grounds?  Please?"  
  
Merlin considered it before ultimately caving.  "Alright, but you can't tell the knights who you are.  Lance knows, and Morgana has probably told Leon by now, but the rest of them don't know.  It would be simpler to keep it that way.”  
  
Arthur nodded.  "You'll have to tell me who the new knights are.  I'm sure there are many men who’ve been knighted since I was this age."  
  
Merlin nodded.  "Yes, especially since you changed the law about knights only being of noble birth.  Now any man can be knighted if they’re skilled enough.”

“What?” Arthur cried.  He stared at Merlin, in genuine distress.  “I broke the first code of Camelot?  Why’d I do that?”

“You realized that a man’s worth wasn’t determined by the circumstances of his birth.”  Merlin left out the fact that he’d been the main person who’d convinced Arthur of this to knight men like Lancelot. 

“But knighting peasants would bring chaos to the kingdom,” said Arthur.  “At least that’s what Father says.”

“If anything, adding knights of ordinary birth has brought more stability to the kingdom,” Merlin said gently.  “More knights mean more patrols and more defenses.  It’s a simple thing, really.”

Arthur frowned, not wanting to dwell on it.   “So, back to the new knights.”

“For today, I’d stick to the few young knights in your inner circle,” Merlin advised.  “Let’s see, there's one who thinks he's God's gift to women.  A bit like you, really.  Except he's more attractive with his long brown swooping locks."  
  
"Hey!" Arthur cried.  "Who is this knight so I may challenge him to a duel on my honor?"  
  
"His name is Sir Gwaine.  But you won't be able to beat him, not at your age," Merlin cautioned.  
  
"You don't know that,” Arthur argued.  “I never back down from a challenge."  
  
"This should be good," Merlin muttered under his breath.  
  
As they walked towards the training field, Merlin brought Arthur up to speed regarding the other knights.  He told him about Percival, the gentle giant with fierce protective instincts and the skilled Elyan, who was knighted after his sister Guinevere spoke on his behalf.  Those three knights, along with Lance and Leon, made up Arthur’s trusted inner circle.  Merlin cautioned Arthur against interacting with other men besides them.

They soon arrived on the training field.  Arthur quickly found a spare sword that was to his liking and he gave it a few practice swings.  Merlin directed them towards the group of young knights that were sparring which each other.  Unfortunately, the first knight they came across was Gwaine, who had abandoned his duel with Percival to come greet them.

“Merlin, who is this?” Gwaine asked with his usual shit-eating grin.  The knight brushed his signature long dark hair behind his ears, alerting Arthur to his identity.

"Sir Gwaine, I presume?" Arthur's voice oozed charisma as he approached the knight.  "Doesn't your hair impede your ability to fight?"

Merlin shook his head frantically and gestured wildly to show Gwaine that something was up.  But the knight didn’t notice.  
  
Gwaine took one look at the skinny Arthur and laughed.  "You had me for a second.  I thought you sounded like the king."  
  
"You and me, right now.  Let's go."  Arthur pointed his sword at Gwaine.  
  
"Alright," Gwaine shrugged, reaching for his sword.  "I can teach you a thing or two."  
  
“Teach me?” Arthur scoffed.  “I’ll take you apart.”

“You’ve got spirit, I’ll give you that,” said Gwaine, looking over at Merlin, who could only shrug.

Arthur grimly approached Gwaine, twirling his sword in his signature move.  Without warning Arthur attacked, putting Gwaine on the defensive.  Merlin had to admit, Arthur held his own for a while, parrying and blocking Gwaine’s every move.  It took Gwaine a good minute to beat him.  Arthur reluctantly yielded when Gwaine pushed him onto his back.  
  
"Wow, you're good," Gwaine had to admit as he helped Arthur up.  "Where did you train?"  
  
"I don't have to explain myself to the likes of you," the young Arthur sneered, not wanting to reveal the truth as Merlin had instructed.  
  
Then Leon and Lance beckoned Arthur to come over and spar with them.

Gwaine walked over to Merlin, who glumly met his gaze.  
  
"I know that's Arthur," Gwaine said quietly to Merlin.  "His words and mannerisms, even his style of swordplay gives it away.  Why does he look and act like he’s twelve?"  
  
"Fourteen, actually," Merlin sighed.  "I wish I knew.  He woke up like that this morning in bed with Gwen and tried to make a move on her."  
  
Gwaine laughed.  "I'll bet that went over well, especially when Lance showed up."  
  
Merlin tried to laugh, but his worry shone through.  "Arthur doesn’t remember anything about his former life.  He doesn’t remember me, remember _us_.”  Merlin’s eyes grew haunted at that.  “Morgana and I will look for a counter spell today, but I'm afraid I won't get my Arthur back."  
  
Gwaine tried to buoy Merlin’s spirits.  "Come on, Merlin.  You can’t think like that.  There isn't a spell you can't do.  You’ll get him back."  
  
Then Elyan and Percival approached them.  They too had figured it out and expressed their concerns about the young Arthur.  
  
"Help me lookout for him, alright?” Merlin asked.  “We don't want the people getting wind that their king is a young teenager.

The knights swore they would help, easing Merlin’s burden a bit.

“I wish I had a good excuse to explain why he looks so much like my Arthur," Merlin lamented.  “That would make my life a lot easier.”

“How about you say that he’s a long-lost cousin of Arthur’s on his mother’s side?” Gwaine suggested.   “That should do the trick.”

“You know, that just might work.”  Then Merlin remembered something else he needed to ask of them.  "He doesn't know about Arthur and me.  You lot can't tell him.”  

"We won't," Percival promised, as did the others.  
  
"God knows how he'd take it," said Elyan, shaking his head.  "Does he even _like_ you?"  
  
Merlin chuckled.  "I think that's debatable.  We’ve already fallen into our familiar bantering, although Arthur’s comments are a lot more cutting than they used to be.”

“I’d forgotten how he used to be,” said Leon, the only one of them to grow up with Arthur.  “He’s changed so much since he was fourteen.”

“It's just weird for me, seeing him like this,” said Merlin.  “He's overcompensating more now than he was when we first met!  He’s crude and selfish.  Half the time I want to throttle him, and the other half I want to..." Merlin trailed off. 

Gwaine sniggered and Percival punched him in the arm.

"But I know he's not the Arthur I know and love.  I won't take advantage of him like that," Merlin swore. 

“What are you going to do with him for the rest of the day?” Elyan asked. 

“Keep him inside the castle,” said Merlin with a sigh.  “He needs constant supervision.  But tomorrow I think I’ll take him to the magic school with me, so Morgana and I can keep an eye on him.”

“Are you sure that’s wise?” Percival asked, glancing over at Arthur, who was on the defensive as Lancelot pressed his advantage.  “This Arthur hates magic.  He’s afraid of anyone who practices it.”

“Then perhaps it’s time for him to get over that,” said Merlin with a sly grin.

“It’s your funeral,” Gwaine shrugged.  “Just don’t expect too much of him.”

“Oh, believe me, my standards are very low,” Merlin snorted.  “His disrespectful comments about women make your bragging about your conquests look tame by comparison.”

Gwaine looked scandalized at that.

Merlin laughed at his reaction.   “I suppose I’ll just have to tolerate him until we can get my Arthur back.”

“Try not to worry, Merlin,” Percival said bracingly.  “As soon as you find the right spell, Arthur will be himself again before you know it.”

“You’re right,” said Merlin, nodding at him.   But as he watched the young Arthur cross his arms and yell at Lancelot for correcting his form, Merlin had a sinking suspicion that it wouldn’t be easy to restore his Arthur, that he might be stuck with this one for quite some time. 

End Chapter 2


	3. Magic School Blues

Disclaimer:  Merlin is not mine.

A/N:  Thanks for the comments and kudos!  Glad people are enjoying this.

.~.

Chapter Three: Magic School Blues

.~.

The following morning, Merlin awoke with a feeling of dread.  He looked beside him, finding the still sleeping fourteen year-old Arthur in the small bed right next to his.  The prince was cocooned in his crimson comforter, a hint of golden hair peeking through at the top.  Merlin had foolishly hoped that Arthur had reverted back to his real age during the night, but that had not been the case.   
  
Swallowing his bitter disappointment, Merlin shook Arthur awake.  The warlock had a busy day ahead at the magic school and he didn't want to be late.  He'd be taking Arthur with him, which might turn out to be a disaster since this Arthur hated and feared magic.  But Merlin had to keep an eye on him and he wasn't about to shirk his responsibilities.

“Wake up, lazy bones,” said Merlin, knowing he could get away with the insult, as Arthur wasn’t awake enough to notice.  
  
Drowsiness was evident in Arthur’s voice when he asked, "Where's breakfast?"  
  
Merlin shook his head at the predictable response.  "Good morning to you too."  
  
Arthur stretched his arms and wiped the sleep from his eyes.  "What's wrong with being hungry in the morning?"

The warlock tried to come up with a snappy retort about Arthur’s childish need for instant gratification, but was cut off when, right on cue, a servant brought their breakfast. 

“Thank you,” said Merlin, taking the tray from the girl, who glanced at Arthur and blushed before she beat a hasty retreat.

“Why did you thank a servant for doing their job?” Arthur asked, genuinely confused as he pulled on a red tunic.  (Merlin had earlier refused to dress Arthur on principle.)

Merlin barely resisted rolling his eyes.  “I used to be a servant.  I know how hard it is, running after royalty.  It’s a simple thing, really – a thank you.  You should try it.”

Arthur scowled at Merlin after he put on his brown trousers.  “Don’t push your luck.”

They both took a seat at the table and tucked in to their breakfast, with Arthur swiping one of Merlin's sausages without asking.  

Merlin couldn’t remember his Arthur being quite so interested in food.  This Arthur had gorged himself last night at dinner but didn’t seem to feel any ill effects.  Merlin realized that, at fourteen, Arthur was a growing boy who practically inhaled all his food.  Not that his own Arthur couldn’t put away a large meal, it was just that King Arthur often had to eat on the go.   The king was always plagued by paperwork, council meetings, and training and could only eat when he had the time.   
  
"Didn't they teach you manners?" Merlin asked, wrinkling his nose after Arthur let out a loud belch, accompanied by warm sausage breath.  
  
"Oh, yes," Arthur smirked, finishing off the rest of his cherry torte when Merlin had barely taken a bite of his own.  "I use them around people who matter, like the people of the court."  
  
"King Arthur says I matter," said Merlin, a wistful look on his face.  _I matter a lot._  
  
"Good for him," Arthur sneered, not thrilled when that Merlin stared at him, the warlock wished for someone else.  “What am I doing today?  More training with the knights?”

“Nope, something even better,” Merlin said happily, eagerly awaiting Arthur’s reaction.  “You get to come with me to the magic school.”  
  
"What?  I don't want to have anything to do with your stupid magic school," Arthur whined.  "Your students will probably hex me."  
  
"No they won't.   Not unless you give them reason to, so be on your best behavior and stick to our story."  
  
Arthur scowled.  "Is it really necessary to change my hair?"  
  
"Yes," said Merlin.  "There are plenty of people in the kingdom that remember what you looked like when you were this young.  I'd rather avoid them discovering who you really are."  
  
Last night they'd spun the yarn to the court that Gwaine had suggested, that the young Arthur was a long-lost cousin of King Arthur on his mother's side.  Merlin had made sure they made a big show of Arthur arriving on horseback with a few knights as escorts, so everyone would believe the tale.    
  
People of the court said wasn't it a shame that the king's young cousin arrived when King Arthur was quarantined in his chambers with an infectious disease.  This too was part of the deception.  Merlin needed an excuse as to why the real King Arthur wasn’t around, and that was the most believable reason.  Unfortunately, it wouldn’t work forever.  Merlin hoped he could quickly return Arthur to his proper age and bring back his memories, but just how to go about that was elusive.  That’s where his students came in.  
  
Before Arthur could object again, Merlin waved his hand and the prince’s golden locks morphed into a dapper dark brown. 

“Ugh, I look horrible,” Arthur moaned as he looked in the mirror.  “I don’t look like myself at all.”

“Good.  That’s the point,” Merlin agreed. 

Arthur looked at himself from the right side and frowned.  “Could you use your magic to rid me of this acne on my cheek?”

“Not in your life,” said Merlin, barely hiding a smile.  “I’m enjoying this too much.  Come on.”

To Merlin’s surprise, Arthur didn’t protest.  They headed for the magic school, which was held in an old summer home that had belonged to a banished duke not far from the castle.  After a ten minute walk, they arrived at the crumbling stone building.  Merlin kept forgetting to take the time to make the school look more aesthetically pleasing.  One of these days, he would.   They came to a stop in front of the large wooden front doors.

“Wait here, I’ll be right back,” Merlin instructed Arthur before he went inside to join Morgana, who had already arrived. 

Merlin was met with joyful greetings of his students, who were always glad to see their teacher.  After quieting them with a knowing look, Merlin informed his students that the young Arthur would be joining them.  
  
"Be patient with him," Merlin advised.  "He's not used to seeing people perform magic.  Show him that he has nothing to fear."  
  
"He will probably try to proposition the girls," Morgana added.  "But I wouldn't take him up on it.  Yes, he's gorgeous but I’ve heard he's got something going on down there, if you know what I mean.  Trust me, it’s not worth it." 

A few of the girls shuddered at that.  
  
Merlin felt slightly guilty about cock-blocking Arthur, it was for his own good.  The warlock didn't want to have to deal with any unexpected consequences of fourteen year-old Arthur's influence on their time.  It wouldn’t be fair for the real Arthur to return and find that he had a bastard child on the way.  That and Merlin didn't want Arthur to be with anyone else.    
  
Deciding his students had been warned enough, Merlin welcomed Arthur inside and introduced him as King Arthur’s cousin, who was named after the king. 

Arthur adopted an air of superiority, but Merlin could tell from his defensive stance that he felt uncomfortable at all the attention.  

Merlin quickly divided his students into two groups, leaving Arthur off to one side.  The prince’s face burned as all the magic users curiously stared at the newcomer.

“Where do I go?” Arthur asked.  
  
“You're to supervise this group," Merlin instructed.  "They're junior knight contenders and they need to practice their form."  
  
Arthur glared at Merlin.  "What the hell is a junior knight?  It sounds ridiculous.  I’ll bet it was your idea.”

The students gasped at that.  None of them had ever uttered a disrespectful word towards their teacher.  But Merlin took it in stride.  
  
"King Arthur has instituted a training program for young people who wish to become a knight someday," said Merlin.  “And yes, actually it _was_ my idea.”  
  
"Why would they be allowed to train to be knights someday if they have magic?" Arthur gave him a blank look.  
  
Morgana took over.  "Lord Merlin and I believe that any magic user skilled with a sword should have the opportunity to try out to be a knight.  If they have strong protective magic, we encourage them to learn both swordplay and to develop their gift."  
  
"The knights allow this?" A doubtful Arthur asked.  
  
"Oh, yes," Merlin beamed at him.  "Arthur and the rest find our magically inclined knights to be valuable members of their order."  
  
"Huh," said Arthur, stumped by this new idea.  
  
"The knights have lost significantly fewer men ever since the magically inclined joined their numbers," said Merlin.  “You have to admit that’s a good thing.”

Arthur reluctantly nodded.

Then Merlin returned his attention to his students.  "While the others practice their swordplay, the rest of you are going to help Morgana and I do some research."  Merlin motioned his students over and asked if they'd heard of an age reversal spell or potion.  To his dismay, none of them had.  
  
"Right," Merlin sighed.  "Half of you will go to the castle library with Morgana and half of you will look through the books we have here with me." 

Morgana took her group and left for the castle, leaving fifteen wide-eyed students left with Merlin.

"Lord Merlin, who is the spell for?" One of his talented young Seers asked.

“Aren’t you nosy today, Alice.  It's not important," Merlin demurred.   
  
But she was not deterred.  "It's for him, isn't it?"  The ever-perceptive Alice pointed towards the young Arthur, who was correcting one of the boy’s stances across the room.    
  
Merlin considered lying but decided he could ultimately trust his students.  He'd done so before with graver secrets.  "Yes, Alice, it’s for him."  
  
"He's not really the king's cousin, is he?" Alice asked, before continuing on.  "He's the king, but he somehow got younger.  I can sense his unique energy signature.  He's very vibrant and-"  
  
Merlin cut Alice off before she could wax poetic about Arthur, which she’d been known to do.  "Yes, he's the king.  But you can't tell anyone." 

After swearing his students to secrecy, Merlin and his magical pupils began their search for a way to reverse Arthur's age and restore his memories.  They poured through the magic school's extensive library, but they didn't find anything useful before they took a break for the midday meal.   
  
As soon as Arthur dismissed them, his group joined Merlin’s for lunch.  The students either went out back to pick fruits and vegetables from their magically enhanced garden, or they gathered their packed lunches.  The students chattered excitedly as they socialized with their friends, sitting in circles on the grass.  
  
Merlin noticed Arthur off to the side, sulking and sitting by himself.  Taking pity on the prince, Merlin took a seat beside him.  "You must be hungry," said the court sorcerer.  "If you asked, I'm sure my students would share their food with you."  
  
Arthur looked scandalized.  "I will not sink so low as to beg a magic user for food."  
  
Merlin was slightly annoyed that Arthur's view on magic hadn't changed, but he supposed he couldn't expect it to after half a day.  "Here, have some of mine."  Merlin offered some of his bread, cheese, and fruit to the prince.  
  
Arthur stared warily at Merlin.   
  
"It's not poisoned, you know," Merlin said gently.  "If I wanted you dead, I would've done it that first night when you unfairly insulted Gwen."  
  
Arthur nodded, and tore off a piece of Merlin’s bread.  They are together in companionable silence, watching a few of the students chase after each other while the others ate.  
  
"They love you, you know." Arthur said.  
  
"Who?" Merlin asked.  
  
"Your students," Arthur clarified.  "Just from spending the morning with them, I can tell they practically worship the ground you walk on."  
  
"Oh."  Merlin blushed.  "I do the best I can.  I try to be patient with them when they're mastering a new skill.  Morgana and I have a pretty informal relationship with our students.  It helps that they all want to be there, some out of necessity to learn to control their magic and some who want to use their gift to defend Camelot."  
  
Arthur nodded.  "I hope I command that kind of respect someday."  
  
"You will," said Merlin, patting his back without thinking.  
  
Arthur tensed at the contact.  
  
"Sorry," said Merlin, wincing as he saw Arthur’s reaction.  "Old habit."  
  
"I don't like to be touched," Arthur said tersely.  
  
Merlin nodded, but he inwardly hurt by the rejection.  
  
"I assume that has changed as I’ve aged?" Arthur asked.  
  
"Yes, you're very tactile, with me and the knights.  Lots of roughhousing and shoulder punching," said Merlin.  The warlock wondered what had caused Arthur to lash out, but he didn't want to pry.  
  
"Your students don't seem evil," Arthur remarked.  "It looked like they were having fun practicing their magic.  How do you regulate their magic?"  
  
It was a fair question, one that Merlin and Arthur had addressed before founding the school.  "Before someone can attend the school, they must take an oath that they will only use their magic to help, not to harm."  Merlin smiled, remembering how serious each student had been when they swore to use their powers for good.   “It has worked pretty well.”  
  
“Have your magic users helped Camelot stay safe?" Arthur pressed him.  
  
"Oh, yes,” Merlin said enthusiastically, his hands becoming animated as he talked.  “My students and I have fought in a bloodthirsty battle when three dark sorcerers and their army of bandits attacked Camelot.  Dark days haunted the kingdom up ‘til the day of reckoning, but we emerged victorious.  I'm not sure we would've won the battle without my students."  
  
"I thought you were the most powerful sorcerer in the world.  Shouldn't _you_ have been able to stop them?"  Arthur asked.  
  
Merlin tried not to take offense at the underhanded insult.  "One of them had a magic ring that amplified his power tenfold.  Plus the other two were powerful in their own right.  Even Morgana and I couldn't handle all three by ourselves.  It took all of us to defeat them."  
  
"Three sorcerers at once used dark magic against Camelot?"  Arthur shivered, not wanting to think about what that might look like.   “Even after you changed the law?"  
  
"Yes.  I'd hoped the number of magical threats would decline after we repealed the law," said Merlin.  "And they did, with that one exception.  Although people occasionally still try to off you."  
  
"Lucky I've got you, then," Arthur said sarcastically.  
  
Merlin smiled at that, touched by the words even if they were said in jest.  "That's something the elder you would say.  But unlike you, he meant it."  
  
Arthur snorted.  "That'll be the day."  Then he grew thoughtful.  “Tell me more about my future as king.”

“I don’t know if I should,” Merlin cautioned.  “It could have unintended consequences on the future.”

Arthur grinned at him.  "A few questions can’t hurt.  So tell me, Merlin, do I ever win the annual tournament?"  
  
Merlin smiled, remembering all the tournaments that he’d helped Arthur in and out of his armor while secretly pining after him.  "Not going to answer that."  
  
"Surely I do, if I am the best swordsman in the land," Arthur allowed.  
  
Merlin shrugged, not confirming or denying anything.    
  
"Do I wear any lady's favor?  Or multiple favors perhaps?"   
  
Merlin said nothing.  He clearly remembered the last tournament that Arthur had entered.  It had been a jousting competition and Arthur had spectacularly unseated his final competitor with his lance.  On his arm, the king had worn a frayed, faded blue piece of cloth torn from one of Merlin's old neckerchiefs.

The warlock blushed, remembering how Arthur had asked to wear his favor as the king gently took Merlin over the edge.  Arthur took it a bit further when he asked Merlin to wear the same torn blue neckerchief the day of the tournament to match his favor.  Originally, Merlin had objected, thinking it would be too easy for their subjects to connect the two.  To appease a worried Merlin, Arthur wore two additional torn pieces of cloth on his arm, one red, and one yellow to represent the Pendragon colors.  Still, Merlin wasn't sure it was a good idea for both of them to wear the matching blues.  Arthur had pleaded, had gazed deep into Merlin's eyes until he was a goner and would (and did) agree to practically anything.   
  
"Ah, I did," said Arthur, correctly interpreting Merlin’s behavior.  "Who was it?"  
  
"Someone who loved you very much."  Merlin could barely control the emotions that threatened to break free.  It wouldn’t do for this Arthur to see them.  
  
"Were they good in bed?" Arthur leered at him.  
  
"Arthur told me multiple times that they were quite skilled in bed, yes," said Merlin, chuckling at that. If only this Arthur knew what they got up to in bed!

“Excellent,” said Arthur, slightly puffing up his chest.  “At least I have good taste in bed partners in the future.”

“Oh, impeccable taste, Sire,” Merlin couldn’t help but slyly add.

“I wouldn’t want anyone but the best,” Arthur agreed.  “It was good of you to share your lunch with me.”

Merlin’s insides were warmed at that.  “Was that a thank you?”

“No.”  Arthur shook his head, shocked by the implication.  “I meant, it was good of you to share with your prince, because it was expected of you.  Thank you’s are beneath royalty.”  With that, Arthur got up and joined the group of students.   
  
Slightly disappointed, Merlin finished off his cheese as he watched Arthur mingle with the others his age.  One of the girls glared at Arthur and shouted something Merlin couldn’t quite understand.  Merlin was surprised to see Arthur quickly rebuked by one of his students and wondered what had caused it.   
  
A subdued Arthur sat back down next to Merlin.  "I don't understand it.  I've flirted with practically every girl here and none of them seem interested.”

Merlin hid a smile, remembering what Morgana had said earlier about Arthur.  It wouldn’t hurt Arthur to experience a bit of rejection, especially at this age.

“Not every girl is into you, you know,” Merlin said gently.  
  
"Right,” Arthur scoffed.  “These sorceresses must be absolute prudes if they won't give themselves to me.  No matter, I'm sure I can find a maid in the castle who will roll over for me."  
  
Merlin flinched as if struck at the callousness of Arthur’s speech.  Stunned by the misogynistic remark, Merlin gaped at the prince.  He’d never heard his Arthur utter anything close to this.  "You cannot speak about women like that," the warlock growled.  “I _won’t_ tolerate it.”

“Speak about women like what?” Arthur cocked his head.  “I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I,” Merlin snapped, his eyes angrily flaring with gold as he glared at the spoiled prince.  He pushed his magic back down, not wanting to accidentally do something he’d regret.

Shaking his head, Merlin stood up and abandoned the bewildered Arthur, deciding to go and complain to Morgana.  Just when Merlin thought he’d been connecting with Arthur, the prince had to go and say something that ruined it.

Merlin wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take.  It felt wrong to hear such terrible things from Arthur’s beloved mouth.  How Merlin longed for _his_ Arthur, who would take Merlin in his arms and kiss away all the awful things that had his younger counterpart had said.  Merlin hoped that Morgana would be able to help him make sense of this, because the warlock was having much difficulty accepting this immature version of his lover.  


End Chapter 3

A/N: Comments are great!

 

  


 


	4. Lessons Learned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin tries to get through to Arthur but things don't always work as planned.

Disclaimer:  Merlin is not mine.

A/N:  Thanks for comments and kudos!  I took a little break and wrote an unconnected oneshot called ‘Going For The Hug’ if you want some Merthur fluff n stuff.   Now back to the show…

.~.

Chapter Four: Lessons Learned

.~.

Lunch was almost over when Morgana found an irate Merlin stalking towards her.

“Oh, God, what’d Arthur say now?” Morgana asked, placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. 

Merlin’s fists clenched as he gritted out, “I can’t _believe_ he would be so presumptuous as to say that-” 

Morgana cut him off.  “Hold that thought.”  

She quickly called the students back from lunch and instructed them to form two lines facing each other.  “You’ll be practicing dueling today.  Whoever wins the duel will stay with the winners and whoever loses will form their own group to practice until it’s time to start over again.  Any questions?”

The magic students shook their heads, eager to have a go at their classmates. 

Arthur sat off to the side, careful not to get too close to the duels in case a spell went awry.  The boy looked hopefully over at Merlin, who could only glare back.  Arthur deflated, and turned back to watching the duels.

“Merlin?” Morgana gently prodded him.  “What did he say that’s upset you?”

“He said something about finding a girl in the castle who would roll over for him.”  Merlin growled.  “Just because he’s handsome and the prince doesn’t mean he should have his pick of the litter.”

Morgana’s lips thinned as she considered Arthur’s assumption.  “Actually Merlin, Arthur’s right.  He can practically have any girl he wants.”

“That doesn’t make it right!” Merlin exploded.  “He shouldn’t be saying such things!”

“Of course not,” said Morgana.  “But that’s how Arthur was at this age.”

“It’s horrible,” Merlin seethed.   Then he had an awful thought.  “Does Arthur have a bunch of bastard children that are a product of his youthfuI dalliances?”

“I don’t know,” Morgana said quietly.  “If one of the maids ever got with child outside of marriage, she would be whisked away from the castle.   After she had the baby, she might be invited back.  But not always.   ‘Once a slut, always a slut’, I believe the saying goes.”

“I can’t take much more of this,” Merlin spat.  “Not only does my Arthur disappear, but now I’m stuck with this.  He’s a disaster.”    He pointed over at Arthur, who was flirting with one of the young sorceresses.  Merlin could tell Arthur was laying it on a bit thick, but that didn’t phase the girl, who smiled dreamily at the prince.

“I don’t believe it!” Merlin squawked.  “You told them this morning that Arthur had a venereal disease and she _still_ falls for him.”

“You really aren’t one to talk, Merlin,” Morgana reminded him.  “How long were you in love with Arthur before you told him?  Years?”

“T-that’s not the point!” Merlin stuttered.   “Morgana, tell me how I’m supposed to handle this, because I don’t think I’m doing a very good job.  I can’t even touch him, he has some sort of fear based around touch from men.  Where the hell did that come from?”

“To answer both questions, I’m not sure,” said Morgana.  “Perhaps Uther did something to him that we didn’t know about.”

“That could be it,” said Merlin, but that didn’t seem to fit. 

“I know you’re doing the best you can, Merlin, but perhaps you could start treating him more like an adult,” Morgana suggested.  “If you treat him like a child who needs a nursemaid, he’ll act like one.  But if you expect more from him, Arthur usually rises to the challenge.”  Morgana patted Merlin’s knee in sympathy before approaching her students, gathering them around her to instruct them. 

Merlin stood up to join her.  He and Morgana supervised a few more hours of dueling before they finally dismissed their students.  After packing up, Merlin and Morgana headed back home.

“Finally,” said Arthur, who joined them on their walk back to the castle.  “I never thought that would end.”

“So how was your experience with magic users today?” Merlin asked, practically baiting Arthur to say something negative.

“I’m sure he had a good time,” Morgana said breezily, not giving Arthur the chance to answer.  “You didn’t see anyone use dark magic, did you?”

“No,” Arthur admitted.  “They were pretty normal, for the most part.  I’m still not used to the whole ‘glowy eyes thing’.  But did you see that one girl was into me?”  Arthur smiled, recalling his interaction with the young sorceress.  “I’m going to meet her tomorrow in the gardens.”

“That sounds lovely,” said Morgana, shooting a look at Merlin which said ‘be nice’. 

“Do you even know her name?” Merlin couldn’t help but ask.

“Yes, _Merlin_ , her name is Marie.  She said she was born with magic, that it wasn’t something she chose.” Arthur pursed his lips.  “I guess I could’ve been wrong about magic users being evil.”

“Really?” Merlin gaped at him, his heart about to burst at hearing Arthur say something kind about magic users. 

“Yeah.”  Arthur shrugged.  “After watching all those duels, I could see how having magic would be useful to defend the kingdom.”

“Merlin, close your mouth, it’s unseemly,” Morgana chided as she glided across the grass, leading the way to the castle. 

“How is it she can order you around, but I say one wrong thing and I get the cold shoulder?” Arthur crossed his arms and glanced at Merlin while they walked.   “I thought you had a higher rank than her.”

“Although Morgana is my apprentice, we work as a team,” said Merlin.   “Rank isn’t everything in Camelot, you know.”

“As king and court sorcerer, do you and Arthur work well as a team?” Arthur innocently inquired.  “I get the impression that you’re really close.”

Merlin swallowed hard and turned away to hide his anguished expression. 

“Did I say something wrong?” Arthur asked.  Then he turned to Morgana.  “Did they have a fight or something the night before I turned up?”

“Something like that,” Morgana said smoothly.   She whispered something in Merlin’s ear, which to Arthur sounded suspiciously like ‘keep it together’.

“I have to go,” Merlin choked out, taking one last look at Arthur before running back to the castle.

“Wow, is he moody today,” Arthur remarked with a shrug.  “Does he always act like a girl?”

“You have no idea,” Morgana muttered under her breath as she walked along with her teenage brother.

.~.

Breathing hard, Merlin burst into the king’s chambers.  He quickly cast an impenetrable spell on the doors, as well as an inaudible spell, not wanting anyone to hear him.   Sobs erupted as the shaky Merlin curled up on the bed, inhaling Arthur’s comforting scent from one of the crimson throw pillows.

“Arthur, I need you,” Merlin choked out as he clutched one of the pillows to his chest.  “I can’t do this alone.”  Merlin’s eyes leaked as he allowed himself to actually feel the heavy loss of his lover.  “Please, come back,” Merlin begged the empty room, wishing in vain for Arthur’s appearance.  “Arthur, please!”

After his sobs dissipated, Merlin imagined having his Arthur’s strong arms wrapped around him, cocooned in the king’s comforting warmth.  Arthur would kiss his cheek and whisper that he loved him and that he’d never leave Merlin again.  Merlin immersed himself in that fantasy for a few minutes, before sighing and sitting up.  

The warlock wiped his eyes with his sleeves and removed the spells.  Squaring his shoulders, Merlin then made his way to the library below the castle.  There _had_ to be an answer to his problem in one of the old dusty volumes of spells.   Merlin wouldn’t give up until he or someone else found it.

.~.

Unfortunately, Merlin didn’t find what he was looking for before dinner.  After banging his fist on the table, Merlin temporarily gave up, placing the books aside as he sneezed yet again from the dust.  Morgana and Gwen would be concerned if he didn’t appear at dinner, so Merlin decided to go, even though he’d rather hole up in Arthur’s chambers.

The court sorcerer appeared in the throne room just as Arthur had arrived.  Everyone automatically looked to Merlin as to where Arthur would be placed at dinner.   If he went by the story that Arthur was the king’s long-lost cousin, protocol dictated that Merlin should place Arthur close to him.  Instead, Merlin had Arthur placed at the end of the dinner table next to the less-than-desirable Lady Elaine, who liked to flirt with men much younger than her.

The servants brought out the first course, lamb stew.  Merlin tucked in to his dinner, sporadically glancing over at Arthur.  He still wasn’t used to having someone serve him, but it was quite nice.  
  
"Why are you torturing him?" Morgana asked, pointing at Arthur.  They watched as the middle-aged Lady Elaine patted Arthur's head and pinched his cheeks.  
  
“It’s entertaining to watch,” Merlin admitted as Arthur blushed as Lady Elaine ‘accidentally’ ran her hand across his nether regions.  “What?”

“He sure looks miserable,” Morgana allowed.   “You’re still not mad about the girl, are you?”

“No,” Merlin lied.  “Why would I be mad?”

“Merlin, he doesn’t know anything about your relationship,” Morgana reminded him.  “You can’t keep punishing him for that.”

“Fine, I’ll let him sit with us.”   Merlin had left King Arthur’s chair open next to him, not wanting anyone else to sit in the king’s place.   The court sorcerer waved his hand and the king’s chair scooted to the corner of the room, then was replaced by a spare chair. 

Merlin motioned for Arthur to join him, pointing to the chair. 

Arthur literally jumped at the chance., leaving the jilted Lady Elaine behind.  “Thank you for the seat, Lady Elaine is awful.”  Arthur shuddered, touching the spot on his cheek that she’d pinched.  “Merlin, even your deplorable company is preferable to hers.”

“Gee, thanks,” Merlin said, heavy on the sarcasm as his defenses went up.   “You’re so kind, Sire.”

Arthur sighed and leaned in to talk to Merlin.  “Look - Morgana told me earlier that I needed to mend things with you.  About the girl, Merlin, since she is one of your students and you seem to be concerned about her virtue, I promise to be a perfect gentleman when I see her tomorrow.  Alright?”

Merlin grunted in response.

Arthur continued, “I don’t want you to get the wrong impression of me, Merlin.  I do have some standards.”

“Like what?” Merlin scoffed.

"For one, I never bed virgins, although I've had opportunities.  If she tells me she's a virgin, I kindly send her away."  
  
"Girls won't always tell you if they are virgins," said Merlin.  
  
"It's pretty easy to tell, even if they deny it.  If they act terrified after I remove my trousers, it's a big give away.”  Arthur chuckled.  “If that happens, I inform her that I'm not the best choice for her first time."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Sir Kay told me that it's best not to get involved with virgins.  Said they can get emotional and clingy."  Arthur shuddered.  "I stick to the experienced girls."  
  
"I see," said Merlin.  
  
"There's also the fact that I'm still learning how to please women.  I'd hate to leave a girl unsatisfied."  
  
"Really?"  Merlin’s expression softened.  “It’s very mature of you to think of that.”  
  
“Thank you,” Arthur preened.  “If I left women unsatisfied, it would devastate my reputation.  I can’t have that."  
  
Merlin rolled his eyes.  At times Arthur would say something profound, but he would always follow it with a stupid comment.   Merlin supposed he couldn’t expect more from a fourteen year-old boy, even if it was the young version of his lover.  
  
"Also, Sir Kay says it is the mark of a real man important to leave your lover satisfied," Arthur informed him.  
  
"Sir Kay, eh?" Merlin mused as they ate their chicken and vegetables.  He watched Arthur laugh at something Morgana said, while Gwen and Lancelot joined in.   This Arthur seemed so at ease with the adults around him.  Merlin wondered if anyone else was missing the real Arthur, or if they had all adjusted to the teenage version.    
  
Then Merlin’s curiosity got the better of him.  The warlock took Sir Kay aside during the dessert course, wondering how he could just casually broach the subject. 

“Lord Merlin.”  Sir Kay smiled at the warlock.  “What can I do for you?”

"When Arthur was young, did you two talk about women?” Merlin asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Kay saw right through him.  “The kid is the king, right?”

“Damn, the dark-haired disguise is not as good as I thought,” Merlin swore.   “Yeah, that’s Arthur,” Merlin admitted.   “He told me that you gave him advice about pleasing women.”

Kay nodded.  “I did what I could.  He needed some guidance at times.  God knows his father never spoke with him about it.”

“He compared women with livestock yesterday,” Merlin complained.  “Can you explain to him again?”

Kay chuckled.  “I’ve already done it in the past.  This time, Merlin, it should be _you_ who does it, since you two are…”   He made a crude gesture with his hands.

“Kay!”  Merlin cried, glancing around to make sure no one else had seen.   “Not now we’re not.  He’s just a child.  I don’t know what to do with him.”

“He listens to you,” said Kay.  “I know you don’t think so, but I can tell Arthur wants to please you.  It’s your turn now, Merlin.”  Kay clapped Merlin on the back before taking a new seat next to Sir Bors.

Merlin returned to his original seat, lost in thought.  He wasn’t sure how to handle this situation, but Kay was right.  This time it was his responsibility to speak with Arthur about such things.

"You’re back.”  Arthur smiled at Merlin, his eyes shining a scintillating blue.  “I’m glad.”  This time there was no caustic remark to follow.

“Yep, I’m back,” said Merlin, trying not to get lost in those eyes.  It wouldn’t do for him to lust after this young Arthur, as much as Merlin secretly wanted to.

“Why were you mad at me earlier?" Arthur asked.  “It wasn’t just about the girl, was it?”  
  
Merlin sighed.  "You said that you'd go and find a maid who would roll over for you.  That's a very derogatory claim towards women, Arthur."  
  
Arthur pouted.  "But it’s true.  I'm a desirable bed partner."  
  
"Perhaps," said Merlin.  "But women deserve to be treated with respect.  They are not sexual objects born for your amusement.  A prince should not speak about women that way."

“Why not?  Some of the knights do.”  
  
“Arthur, everyone should treat women with respect," said Merlin.  “It’s how a real man would act.”  
   
Arthur frowned at that.  “Did Morgana put you up to this?”  
  
“No!  Let me put it this way.”  Merlin looked thoughtful as he tried to find the right words.  “You're the prince and you set the example for your knights and people to follow.  You should make certain it's the right one."  
  
"But the other knights talk about women that way," Arthur pouted.  "They don't mean anything by it.  It's just something men do."  
  
"Yes, but it just perpetuates the stereotype that women are to be used for a man's pleasure.  It cannot continue," Merlin said, his voice grave.  "Look at it this way.  What if someone said something similar about you?  How would you feel?"  
  
"Proud," said Arthur, grinning at the thought.  "Anything to further my reputation."  
  
"What if someone said you would roll over for anything that moves?"  Merlin raised his eyebrows, as if daring Arthur to refute him.  "That includes men and livestock."  
  
Arthur grimaced at the insinuation.  "No one would dare say something like that about their prince," but he didn't sound completely convinced.  
  
"Not to your face," Merlin agreed.  "But they could behind your back.  You know how fast gossip travels around here.  I've heard the servants claim some crude things about their masters.  How would that make you feel, Arthur, if someone disrespected you like that?”  
  
"Like shit.” The prince admitted.  “Alright, fine.  If it means so much to you, I won't say any more comments like that about women."  
  
"Good," said Merlin, but he was not finished.  "You also need to correct any of the knights that you hear saying anything derogatory against women."  
  
Arthur scoffed at that.  "Right.  If I did, I'd be a laughing stock.  That’s not happening."  
  
"What about the Knight's code of chivalry?" Merlin reminded him.  "Aren't you sworn to protect women from harm?"  
  
"Yes, but-"  
  
"Their reputations deserve to be protected," Merlin argued.  "I'm not sure if you know this, but for women, once their reputation is tainted, that's it.  They can't get it back.  For men, it is seen as favorable if they sleep with multiple women.  It's not the case with women.  Once they're branded as a slut, that's it.  They can't get rid of the label.  Sometimes the girls are shunned by their friends or family.  In worse cases, they can be fired from their jobs."  
  
"I remember a maid that I bedded was fired the next day.  You don't think there was a connection, do you?"  Arthur looked anxious.  
  
"I don't know," Merlin said quietly.  "It's possible."

“That’s not fair!”  Arthur exclaimed, indignant. 

“No, it’s not,” Merlin said.  “But that’s the way it is.  Women need protecting from evil magical creatures and bandits, but they also need protection from slander.  The knights must do both.”

Arthur nodded.  “I’ll do my best to correct them if I hear the knights say anything untoward about women.”

“Good,” said Merlin, glad that he’d finally gotten through to Arthur.

“Why are you so invested in this?”  Arthur wondered.  “You’re not a woman.  How do you know so much about it?”

“My mum went through it.  She got pregnant with me before she could marry my father.   You can thank your father for that, actually,” said Merlin.   “King Uther drove my father into hiding because he had magic, but that’s not the point,” Merlin said hastily.   “My mum had me out of wedlock and the villagers shunned her for it.  I was born a bastard and the village children never let me forget it.”

“Oh,” Arthur said quietly.  “That’s awful.”

“Luckily my mum was welcomed back with open arms after her healing skills saved a little boy’s life,” said Merlin.   “But still, it was hard on us growing up.  My mother’s reputation had been ruined and she had to do something extraordinary to get it back.  Not every woman gets that chance.”

“I had no idea,” Arthur admitted. 

“Now you know,” said Merlin, shooting Arthur a pointed look. 

“Who made those stupid rules about women being sluts if they have sex?” Arthur asked.  “If I changed the law on magic as king, I can change that as well.”

Merlin sighed.  “There are some things that are so ingrained in a society that even a king cannot change overnight.  But it is something that you can strive for.”

“Oh.”  Arthur looked down at his plate.  “I guess I always thought that a king’s decree would immediately right any wrong.”

“Not always,” said Merlin.   “ _That_ is why you must set an example.”

“I see that now,” said Arthur.   “Alright Merlin, I promise I won’t be bedding any women any time soon.  It’s not worth conceiving a bastard.”

“That’s a relief,” Merlin sighed.   

“That means I’m going to be much more frustrated,” Arthur groaned. 

“You can always do what most boys do at your age,” Merlin suggested.

“Yeah, what’s that?” Arthur asked.

“You can become intimately acquainted with your hand.”   Merlin smiled sweetly at the prince, who fumed in his seat, disappointed that Merlin got the final word.    

.~.

Merlin lingered after dinner to discuss the knights’ training with Sir Gwaine, who was closely working with the newer knights with magic.  This led to another round of ales and Merlin had to remind himself to stop after one extra drink.  It wouldn’t do for him to set a bad example for Arthur to come to bed drunk.  After an hour, Merlin bid Gwaine goodnight. 

Despite his despondency earlier, Merlin was feeling hopeful.  It seemed like his talk with Arthur had made an impression on the young prince.   Merlin was so proud of Arthur’s moral development that he’d stopped by the kitchens to grab a cherry tart for the prince.  Merlin was starting to find this Arthur more bearable as his true inner values were beginning to surface.  The prince just needed more guidance, and Merlin was now happy to be the one to teach him.

With a spring in his step, Merlin headed back to the king's chambers, hoping Arthur would appreciate the dessert.  As he approached the door, Merlin thought he heard voices, but he couldn’t be sure.  Arthur should be by himself, as Gwen and Lance hadn’t come up yet.   Deciding he was imagining things, Merlin entered the king’s chambers ready to deliver Arthur’s treat.  However, Arthur wasn’t alone.  

Merlin was greeted with the lovely sight of a girl’s mouth bobbing up and down on Arthur's hard length, which was accompanied by his lover’s familiar moan.  

.~.

End Chapter 4

A/N:  Poor Merlin.  And he thought he’d gotten through to Arthur. 

 


	5. Taking Advantage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin is angry at Arthur for taking advantage of the girl, so much that he loses control of his magic to threaten the young prince.

Disclaimer: Merlin is not mine.

A/N:  Warning for brief underage, not M/A.  Thanks for your comments and kudos!

.~.  
Chapter Five: Taking Advantage

.~.

  
_The King’s Chambers_

Merlin’s stomach dropped as he surveyed the scene in front of him.  Fourteen-year-old Arthur was stretched out on his bed, completely naked while a young serving girl shakily went down on him.   The sun’s fading rays illuminated Arthur’s flushed face and sweaty brow.  Merlin noted how Arthur’s spread-eagled arms and legs practically took up the entirety of the bed, as the elder Arthur did often when sharing a bed with Merlin.  The young prince’s eyes were closed as he moaned in pleasure, bucking up into the girl’s mouth, who was trying hard not to gag. 

Merlin noted the lack of Arthur’s reassuring hand on the girl’s shoulder, and the lack of Arthur’s fingers gently entangled in her hair.  That was one of Merlin’s favorite things about going down on Arthur, that the king went out of his way to remind Merlin that he was loved, even when performing an act that could be seen as degrading.   Merlin supposed such things wouldn’t have occurred to fourteen-year-old Arthur. 

For a second, Merlin thought about leaving them to it.  But he couldn’t let this continue, not unless he was sure the girl was completely willing.  Merlin stepped inside the room and silently closed the door behind him.  The last thing he needed was someone else walking in on them.  Then he let Arthur have it.

"What the hell are you doing?"  Merlin's voice was dangerously low as he strode towards the bed, determined to get to the bottom of this.    
  
Arthur’s eyes flew open at that.  But he didn’t seem too concerned that he’d been discovered.  "What's it look like?"  Arthur sounded too nonchalant for Merlin’s taste.  He even kept thrusting.  
  
His mouth open in shock, Merlin just stared at Arthur, the disappointment rolling off him in waves.  

The poor girl immediately pulled off Arthur.   She turned around to face Merlin and blushed furiously as she tucked her breasts back inside her low-cut lavender dress.  
  
"No, don't be like that," Arthur whined at the girl’s absence.  “ _Mer_ lin.”

"How could you, Arthur?" Merlin cried, forcing himself not to look at Arthur’s bobbing erection.  “What about your promise?  We literally _just_ talked about this!”   
  
"I promised not to screw anyone,” Arthur protested, still unconcerned that he was naked in front of Merlin.  “You never said I couldn't do this.  And before you ask, yes, she was willing.  Weren’t you, Eleanor?"

“My name is Elyssa,” the girl muttered.

“For God’s sake, Arthur, put your clothes on,” Merlin snapped, when he showed no signs of doing so.

Arthur huffed and rolled his eyes, but he did as he was told.

"Lord Merlin, I am so sorry," the girl cried, trembling as she faced the most powerful sorcerer in the world.  She correctly understood Merlin’s less than pleased reaction.  "Please don’t throw me in the dungeons!  I'd heard the gossip but I didn't think he could actually be the king.  If I'd known I never would've gone through with it."  She nervously wrung her hands as she awaited Merlin’s verdict.  
  
"Why are you apologizing to _him_?" Arthur frowned.  "He doesn't own me."  
  
The girl gave Merlin a guilty look before turning back to Arthur.  "Because!  He's your-"  
  
"Don't," Merlin cut her off, shaking his head.  "He doesn't remember."  
  
"Oh, that explains it," the girl mumbled.  She looked down at the floor, afraid to look Merlin in the eye.  “I’ve really fucked up, haven’t I?”  
  
"Am I missing something here?" Arthur asked, looking between them.  
  
Merlin ignored him.  “Elyssa, I hope he didn’t take advantage of you.”  
  
"No, Lord Merlin.”  Her cheeks were flaming as she found the courage to look at Merlin.  “Do I still get my coat?" The girl timidly asked.  "Put me in the dungeons if you must, but I really need it."  
  
Merlin spun around to find a fine fur coat complete with a hood sitting on the table.  Suddenly this all made sense.  "She gave you sexual favors in return for a winter coat?  _Arthur_?"  Merlin raged.  “Explain yourself.”  
  
Arthur shrugged.  "You're always telling me how I'm supposed to help people.  I didn't want her to be cold this winter."  
  
"I'm sorry, Lord Merlin,” the girl said miserably.  “I should've offered myself to one of the knights instead of him.  It's just that we don't have much and my sister is sick.  Winter is about to start and I-"  
  
"Say no more."  Merlin held up his hand.  "It was commendable for what you did for your sister but it wasn't necessary.  You should've come straight to me and I would've given you a whole mountain of coats.”

The girl couldn’t believe her luck.  "So, you're not mad at me for... you know…with your..."  
  
Merlin cleared his throat, cutting her off.  "No, it's not _you_ I'm angry with.  You may go, but first tell me where you live.  I'll come by tomorrow and try to heal your sister."

She glanced up at him in surprise.  "I don't deserve your kindness, my Lord."  
  
"Yes you do.  Here."  Merlin handed her a goblet of wine.  "To wash away the taste." 

The girl blushed again, but she did take a sip.  
  
Merlin noticed the girl was still trembling, so he placed a steadying hand on her shoulder.  
  
"How old are you, Elyssa?"  Merlin asked quietly, warning Arthur with his eyes to be quiet.   He hoped that Arthur was listening to every word, so he would learn what this situation was really like for the girl.  
  
"Thirteen, my lord."  
  
Merlin winced.  "So young!”  Merlin took her hand in his and looked her directly in the eye when he spoke.  “Elyssa, please remember that you always have a choice.  Don't let men trick you into doing something you're not ready for.  This might sound a bit sappy, but I'd advise you to wait until you find someone special."  
  
The girl nodded and turned away but not before Merlin saw the tears that burned in the corners of her eyes.  
  
"Hey, it’ll be alright,” Merlin said gently.   The warlock guided her toward the door, out of Arthur’s earshot. “You're not dirty," Merlin softly told her.  "I know that’s what you're thinking right now, but you're not.  I promise."  
  
"How did you know?"  She asked, wiping her tears away.  
  
"I might've been in a similar situation like this," was Merlin's vague answer.  "Where do you live?  I’ll come by tomorrow to help you sister.  And I’ll bring a different coat with me.  You won’t have to take that one," said Merlin, indicating the coat on the table Arthur had picked for her.

The girl whispered something into Merlin’s ear and then thanked him before fleeing the room.  Now Merlin was left alone with Arthur.

“Oh, boy, here it comes,” Arthur muttered, standing up to meet Merlin as he moved towards the bed.

“I should’ve made you apologize to her,” Merlin said tightly.  “The only reason I didn’t was because she was already so embarrassed.”

“Apologize?” Arthur cried.  “I will _not_.  I did nothing wrong.”

“You didn’t even get her name right!” Merlin yelled, gesticulating wildly with his arms.  “Do you know how that made her feel?”

Arthur shrugged.  “I was close.  I knew it started with an E.”

“I can’t believe you!” Merlin seethed, wanting nothing more than to throttle the young teenager.  “I wish you could see the truth, that you’re a selfish bastard with no regard to other people’s feelings.  All you care about is your own gratification – sexual or otherwise.  I’m very disappointed in you, Arthur.”  Merlin knew he shouldn’t do it, but he couldn’t help echo the words that Arthur had heard so many times from his father.     
  
All of Arthur’s false bravado ceased when he heard that.  "Merlin, don’t be like that.  Let me explain-” Arthur tried.  
  
But Merlin had heard enough.  His eyes flashing gold, Merlin waved his hand, throwing Arthur back against the headboard, but not with enough force as to physically hurt him.  Arthur’s head only slightly lightly connected with it, but he was immobilized.   The prince struggled, but Merlin's magic firmly held him down.  Arthur couldn’t move unless Merlin allowed him to.  
  
"Let me go!"  Arthur shrieked, fear surfacing in those beloved blue eyes.    
  
Finally having the upper hand, Merlin enjoyed Arthur’s fear just a bit.  Perhaps now he would finally learn his lesson.  Merlin knew it wasn’t Arthur’s fault for unknowingly cheating, but the warlock was still furious to see Arthur with someone else.  Against his better judgment, Merlin had snapped.

 "Not yet.  _This_ is how it feels to be completely helpless," Merlin snarled, climbing onto the bed as he approached Arthur, his face merely inches from the teen’s as his eyes blazed gold.  "It doesn't feel very good, _does it_?"

“Release me!” Arthur cried as fear overtook him, his voice as high-pitched as Merlin had ever heard it.  Once again Arthur tried to get out of Merlin’s magical hold, but to no avail.

Instead of freeing Arthur, Merlin only clamped down on his magical grip, wanting to drive his point home.  “Why should I?  You’ve done nothing to earn it.” 

Then Arthur’s body began to shake uncontrollably as he begged, “Please, Merlin, stop!” 

All of Merlin’s anger immediately dissipated after that.  The warlock quickly released his magical hold on Arthur, who was starting to hyperventilate.    

“Shit,” Merlin muttered, moving away from the prince to stand beside the bed.   He’d caused Arthur afraid of him by using his magic to hold him down.  Merlin’s stomach roiled and he had to prevent himself from throwing up his dinner.  How could he have taken advantage of Arthur like that, especially when he’d just admonished Arthur for doing the same thing?

Merlin watched as Arthur’s chest heaved as he tried in vain to catch his breath.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Arthur.  I shouldn’t have done that,” Merlin said gravely.  “I forgot this isn’t the real you.  I forgot you’re not used to it.”  Merlin hoped that Arthur wouldn’t ask him to clarify why he’d allowed Merlin to use magic on the king in bed, but it couldn’t be helped now.

“Don’t touch me,” Arthur whimpered. 

“I won’t, I promise.”  Merlin held up his hands so that Arthur could see them.  “Arthur, please calm down.  I didn’t mean to scare you.  I just wanted to teach you a lesson.” Merlin’s expression was filled with remorse.  “I see now that I went too far.”

But Arthur wouldn’t stop whimpering, even though Merlin was no longer threatening him.  The prince curled into a fetal position, clutching his knees as he tightly shut his eyes.   “It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real...” He kept muttering. 

Then it dawned on Merlin what was going on.  “Arthur, did someone use magic to hurt you?  Is that why you don’t like being touched?”

Arthur winced and look away, but he stopped whimpering. 

“Can I sit down?  I won’t use magic or touch you, I promise.”  Merlin tried to sound as non-threatening as possible. 

Arthur nodded and Merlin took that as a small victory.     

“I’m _so_ sorry,” Merlin repeated as he sat on the bed next to Arthur.  “I made an awful mistake.  You pushed me to the end of my rope, but that’s no excuse for what I did.  I’m such an idiot.”  Merlin’s voice wavered as he digested what he’d done.  “You’re supposed to be in my care and instead of protecting you, I hurt you.”

“S’alright,” came the wobbly response.  “I was acting a fool.  I deserved it.”

“No, you didn’t,” Merlin said sternly.  “No one deserves to be held against their will.  Especially when you did nothing wrong.”

“But I was bad,” said Arthur.  “S’my fault.”

Merlin’s blood ran cold at that.   What was Arthur’s fault?  Had someone been abusing Arthur?  Someone with magic?  It sure sounded like it.    But that would mean it happened to his Arthur too, and Arthur had never mentioned anything like that to Merlin.   But perhaps he hadn’t wanted Merlin to worry.  

“Arthur, what happened to you?” Merlin gently asked.  “You can tell me.”  How he wished he could pull Arthur into his arms and kiss away the pain, but that wasn’t something Merlin could do, no matter how much he wished it.  Arthur would only recoil at Merlin’s touch.

“Nothing!”  Arthur snapped, his walls slamming shut on Merlin’s inquisition. 

 “Alright,” Merlin held up his hands in defeat.  “You don’t have to say anything right now.” 

A few moments passed and a long awkward silence fell between them.  Then Arthur abruptly broke it.  “The other Arthur let you use magic on him?” Arthur sat up and cleared his throat, trying desperately to act like he hadn’t just gone to pieces.

“Yes,” Merlin said cautiously.  “Remember the memory I showed you of Arthur and I horsing around?  He doesn’t mind if I use my magic on him.  He gave me full consent to use it.”

“Right,” said Arthur, sounding doubtful.  He searched for something else to talk about, not wanting Merlin to think him weak.  “I’m sure you want me to tell you what happened with the girl.”

“I’d appreciate some clarification, yes,” said Merlin, relieved that Arthur was acting normally.  Guilt still ate away at Merlin’s stomach as he looked at Arthur.  How could he have lost control of his magic like that?  No matter how frustrated he’d been, Merlin had never wanted to truly hurt Arthur.   He hoped he hadn’t caused irreparable damage.  
  
"It’s not my fault what happened, Merlin,” Arthur said wearily.  “She came on to me.”

“You could’ve said no,” Merlin said sternly, crossing his arms as he looked at Arthur.   But the bite had gone out of his words. 

“I did!  I told her in no certain terms that I wouldn’t have sex with her.  Then she offered to go down on me in exchange for a winter coat.  It sounded like a fair trade, so…”  Arthur shrugged.  “I went with it.”

“You should’ve just given her the coat.”  Merlin disapprovingly clucked his tongue.

 “And forgo having my cock sucked?  You’re mad.”  Arthur shook his head.  “I have needs, Merlin.  Don’t you know what that’s like?”

Merlin neatly sidestepped the question.  “I suppose I expect too much of you,” the warlock said with a sigh.   “If it was a genuine offer from the girl, that’d be different.  But you took advantage of her, Arthur.”

“I did not,” Arthur protested.  “I didn’t have sex with her, so that means no bastards and her reputation isn’t ruined.  And, I got pleasure out of it.  It’s a genius solution to my frustrations!

Merlin sighed.  “She can still get a reputation as a cock-sucker.  And you exchanged her service for something – it wasn’t freely given.”

“So, not a genius solution?”  Arthur’s face fell. 

Merlin shook his head.

“Then what _can_ I do?” Arthur whined.

“Look, I’m not saying you should live like a monk,” said Merlin.   “All I want is for you think about the consequences of your actions before you act.”

“You sound like my father,” Arthur complained.  “Why are you so interested in my sex life anyway?  Other than wanting to prevent me from having bastards, which I’ll admit is a good idea.”

“I, um…” Merlin stammered, trying to come up with a good excuse.    
  
Arthur rolled his eyes at Merlin’s failed attempt.  "Because you can't get some?  Is that why you're cockblocking me?"  
  
"No.”  Merlin gave a hearty laugh at that.  “I've never had a shortage of people who were willing.  But I'm in a relationship."  
  
"With who?" Arthur predictably asked.  
  
"They're not here right now," said Merlin, smiling sadly.  "I suppose that's partly why I'm frustrated.  I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you."

“I can arrange for a substitute while they’re gone,” Arthur offered. 

“No, that won’t be necessary,” said Merlin, chuckling at that.  “It’s not an open relationship.  We’re completely committed.”

“You voluntarily committed yourself to one person?  You must be stupider than I thought,” Arthur shuddered at that scenario.   Then he smiled at Merlin and the warlock knew that all was forgiven.   

Still, Merlin had to ask about their sleeping arrangements.   “If you want, I can sleep somewhere else tonight,” he offered.   “I took advantage of you earlier, something I very much regret.  I’d understand if you want me to leave.”

“No, Merlin,” said Arthur.   “If there is one thing I pride myself on, is my judge of character.  You made an awful mistake earlier, but I can tell that you’re someone I can trust.”  
  
Merlin pursed his lips at that.  Arthur’s sense of trust had been betrayed many a time ever since Merlin came to Camelot, but he saw no need to reveal that now.   “Thank you,” said the warlock.   “Well, I’m going to turn in.   Are you going to bed now, or are you going to look for female company?”

Arthur shook his head.  “Nah, that sounds like too much work.  Perhaps I’ll try again tomorrow.”  He winked at Merlin, who just laughed. 

They quickly readied themselves for bed.  Then Merlin climbed into his bed, ready to catch up on his sleep.   Arthur climbed into his own bed, which was right beside Merlin’s.   Merlin was glad that Arthur had allowed him to sleep here, as he could keep an eye on the prince in case someone tried to off him in the night.

“Ready for lights out?”

Arthur nodded.  “Yeah.”

Merlin waved his hand and all of the candles in the room were extinguished.  “Well, goodnight, then,” said Merlin.  He turned over and got comfortable but before he could drift off, Arthur’s voice cut through the darkness.

“Wait.  Let me ask you something, Merlin.  Do I have a raging libido when I’m older?” Arthur asked.

“I really shouldn’t answer that,” said Merlin, his face heating up as he remembered a certain day in the throne room.  One time, Arthur had Morgana and Gwen guard the door so that he could take Merlin on the throne.   He’d even had Merlin wear his crown.  It was a very special memory for Merlin, even though they could never repeat it, as Merlin’s orgasm had caused all the stain glass windows to shatter.

“Come on, Merlin,” Arthur pleaded.  “I need to know!”

“You don’t want it every second of the day, like you do now,” Merlin said truthfully.  Heaven help him if that was the case!  “But you have been known to leave your partner very satisfied.   Although you have a bit of a kink for public displays of affection, and they don’t like that very much.”

“You said partner.  Don’t you mean the queen?”

“Uh,” Merlin gulped.  “Well…”  Try as he might, Merlin couldn’t come up with a good excuse for this one.

“I knew it, I have a lover on the side!” Arthur crowed.  “Who is it? Tell me, tell me, tell me!”    

“Goodnight, Arthur,” Merlin said firmly.

Arthur pestered Merlin for a bit longer but finally gave up when Merlin didn’t respond.  Soon Arthur’s gentle snores filled the room.  However, Merlin couldn’t fall asleep.  He’d really frightened Arthur earlier with his magic.  It seemed like Arthur had forgiven him, which was a relief.  But Arthur’s reaction to being held down was terrifying.  Who had taken advantage of Arthur?  How Merlin wanted to torture them, thinking of his (relatively) innocent Arthur at the complete mercy of someone with magic.  That would certainly explain the elder Arthur’s former distrust of magic. 

Merlin had assumed that Arthur had just swallowed his father’s anti-magic propaganda, but perhaps it had been something more than that.   It had taken Merlin a lot of coaxing to get Arthur to change his stance on magic, even when he revealed his own powers.  Whatever it was, Merlin yearned to know.  Hopefully he could regain Arthur’s full trust soon and the prince would feel comfortable enough to confide in Merlin.   That was, until he could find a solution to Arthur’s age regression and subsequent memory loss.  

Neither Merlin, Morgana, or any of his students had found a trace of anything that would help return Arthur to his former self.   Merlin would keep looking until he found the answer, but he also had to spend time protecting the teenage Arthur. 

Merlin chuckled to himself at Arthur’s questions about their relationship.  Arthur had no idea that Merlin was Arthur’s future lover, and he planned to keep it that way.  There was no need to scare the boy again.   Merlin fell asleep dreaming of his Arthur, who begged Merlin to keep looking for a way to bring him back.

End Chapter 5

.~.

A/N:  If anyone has suggestions for the later chapters, I’m open to them!


	6. The Hunting Trip

Disclaimer: Merlin is not mine.

A/N:  So I added the ‘underage’ tag.  I don’t endorse underage relationships in RL.  This is a fiction story, and the ‘rules’ are a bit different, as people married much earlier in medieval times and Arthur is technically in a relationship with Merlin, even if he doesn’t remember.  Merlin does not sexually take advantage of Arthur.

I think I’m being conservative by putting the rating at Mature, but I did just in case.  _There will be no sex between M/A_.   This story is more about the boys pining and processing their feelings.   If this tag puts you off, don’t read.  Thanks!

.~.

Chapter 6: The Hunting Trip

.~.   
  
_“Merlin.  Merlin!”_

_Hope washed over Merlin as he rushed forward towards that beloved voice.  Arthur was here!  Wherever here was.   Dark shapes blurred as Merlin ran past, heading for the torchlight at the end of the corridor.  He’d almost reached it when he heard Arthur cry out for him._

_“Merlin, please, save me!”_   _Arthur was trapped behind bars, but in whose dungeon, Merlin couldn’t say._

_“Arthur, I’m coming!” Merlin called, putting on a burst of speed as he headed for the king._

_“Bring me back, Merlin.”  Arthur reached out for Merlin’s hand, but the distance between them was too great._

_Merlin tried to reach Arthur, but his king began to fade away.   “Arthur!  No, don’t leave me!”  Merlin pleaded, but it was too late.   Arthur was gone._

Chest heaving, Merlin awoke with a start.  Arthur had been so close!   Merlin could still picture him bedecked in chainmail and the Pendragon crest.  The dream Arthur slowly disappeared from his mind, only to be replaced by the teenage version who was sleeping in his own bed beside Merlin. 

Squashing his disappointment, Merlin regarded the sleeping young prince.   Arthur’s smooth face was devoid of the cares at the corners of his eyes that had gradually manifested as the weight of ruling a kingdom took hold.   A soft snore filled the room, which caused Merlin to chuckle.  It seemed Arthur’s snoring had been a lifelong habit, although King Arthur’s snores could wake the dead.   

It wasn’t fair to this Arthur that Merlin had hoped that his Arthur would magically return during the night.  Merlin vowed to treat the prince better, especially when he remembered his magical indiscretion last night. 

Realizing there was no time like the present, Merlin climbed out of bed, ready to face the challenges of the day.  
  
"Morning, Arthur," Merlin said brightly, yanking the curtains apart like he used to do all those years ago when he was Arthur’s servant.  "How'd you sleep?"  
  
Arthur groaned.  "You idiot!  Close the drapes, it's too early."  
  
"Nonsense," said Merlin, his heart fluttering at Arthur unknowingly calling him a pet name.  "The sun is shining and it's time to start our day." 

"No thanks," Arthur muttered.  He turned over and pulled the covers back over his head.

Merlin noted that fourteen year-old Arthur’s voice was almost identical to his Arthur’s.   Perhaps this Arthur’s voice was a tad bit higher, but Merlin could only tell the difference thanks to years of carefully listening to Arthur’s vocals when they were intimate.   Merlin was quite fond of Arthur’s voice, and he had to remind himself many times a day that the body attached to said voice was not his king.     
  
"Lazy prat," Merlin sighed and began to dress.  He knew from experience that it was a waste of time to wheedle Arthur and that he’d jump out of bed as soon as breakfast arrived.  
  
"So, what do you want to do today?" Merlin asked.  "You can do anything you want, within reason."    
  
Arthur pulled back the covers and sat up at that.  "You're not making me go with you to the magic school?" The prince asked hopefully.  
  
"It's Sunday and the school's closed," Merlin informed him.    
  
"Right, then," said a relieved Arthur, climbing out of bed and heading towards the wardrobe.  "I want to go on a hunting trip with you and the knights, as long as I'm back in time to meet Marie in the gardens."  
  
"We can do that," said Merlin, inwardly groaning at Arthur’s predictable choice.  Hunting was not his favorite activity, but to be fair he had let Arthur pick.  Merlin had given Arthur complete authority over his day, hoping to subtly apologize to Arthur for losing control of his magic the night before.  The warlock was surprised that Arthur had been so forgiving, after he’d calmed down.  If Merlin had been in Arthur's place, he wasn't sure if he would've been. 

“Great!” Arthur enthused, reaching for a standard crimson tunic with brown trousers.  He pulled them on quickly, much to Merlin’s relief.   He’d rather not be caught staring at this younger Arthur in his smallclothes. 

"I'll be sure to send word to the knights," said Merlin, watching as Arthur critically stared at himself in the mirror.   

The prince puffed out his chest just a bit more than usual.   “Do you think I’m too short?”  

“No,” Merlin chuckled.  “Where’d you get that idea?”

Arthur shrugged.  “I dunno.  I guess I compare myself to the knights sometimes.  Do I grow any taller?”

“Not much, but that doesn’t matter.  Trust me, you look just fine, Arthur,” said Merlin, trying to hold back the longing in his voice, which was meant for someone else.   “More than fine.”

“What?”   Arthur turned around.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing!” Merlin nervously chattered.  “I mean, the ladies tell me you look more than fine, so you have nothing to worry about because you really are-”

A knock at the door saved Merlin from trying to cover up his little slip up.  One of the male servants entered with their breakfast and Merlin thanked him profusely for his impeccable timing.  Merlin asked the servant to inform the king’s closest knights about the impending hunting trip.  The boy gave Merlin a grateful smile and nod before he left, taking their dirty laundry with him.  
  
"I still can't get over you thanking servants for doing their job," said Arthur.  He took a seat at the table, propping his feet up on another chair.   He munched on a piece of bread coated with blackberry preserves.  A bit of jam nestled itself in the left corner of Arthur’s lips and Merlin wanted to reach over and brush it off, like he would’ve done with his Arthur.   “It seems counterproductive, since you are their better.”    
  
"Look at it this way - doesn't it make sense to endear oneself to your servants?  You never know when you'll need their help." Merlin pointed out.  
  
"I suppose," said Arthur, but he didn't look convinced.    
  
Merlin and Arthur made short work of the bread before they started on the sausages.  This time Arthur was a bit more reserved while consuming his food, taking care to stifle a loud burp.  

Merlin decided to reward his good behavior.  "Here, you can have one of mine," said Merlin, plopping the sausage down on Arthur's plate.  
  
"Thanks," Arthur said, spearing the sausage and taking a large bite.  
  
"That wasn't too hard to say, was it?" Merlin teased.  
  
Arthur glared at him, but there was no heat behind it.

It didn’t take long before they finished eating.  Arthur’s face still had that bit of jam on it and Merlin wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell him or not.  It would serve Arthur right to walk around with jam on his mouth all day.  But Merlin decided that humiliating Arthur wasn’t the best course of action, especially after what he’d done the night before.  Taking pity on Arthur, Merlin wet his finger and then gently brushed the jam away, his finger gliding over Arthur’s rough morning stubble.

“What was that?” Arthur jumped. 

Merlin held up the jam.  “Didn’t think you wanted to wear that all day.  Unless you were saving it for later?”  
  
"Oh.”  Arthur’s cheeks colored slightly.   “Well.  We should head down to the training field."  
  
They did just that.  On the way out of the castle, Arthur received no less than ten appreciative glances from women of varying ages.  Arthur, of course, soaked up the attention.  He flirted back, much to Merlin's chagrin. 

“Alright, alright,” Merlin sighed, pulling Arthur away from one particularly amorous chambermaid.   “He does have an agenda today.”

After Merlin scolded the maid, everyone else gave them a wide berth.  They finally arrived in the courtyard, Arthur’s confidence in himself restored.  Lancelot, Leon, Gwaine, Percival, and Elyan were all waiting for them, but they only had two horses packed for the trip.  
  
"Why aren't there enough horses?" Merlin greeted them.  “I thought we were all going.”  
  
"Good morning to you too," Gwaine teased, ruffling Merlin's hair.  He automatically looked over at Arthur, who always hated that.  But this Arthur didn't react at all.   Why would he?  This Arthur had no reason to be jealous at the attention Gwaine was giving Merlin.  
  
Just then a page ran up to them.  "Lord Merlin, I have word from your student, Marie.  She says she can't make her meeting with..." he gestured toward Arthur.  "She wishes to reschedule for tomorrow."  
  
"Very well," said Merlin with a nod.  “Tell her Arthur will meet her tomorrow instead.”

The page scurried away to carry Merlin’s message.

Arthur looked dejected at the news but then brightened.  "Now we can stay out and hunt all day!  Sounds good to me."

Merlin glanced over at the knights, who were urgently whispering between themselves.

"Actually, Merlin, Gwen and Morgana have a project they're working on today and they need their husbands to help with it," said Lance.  He gave Merlin an apologetic clap on the arm.  "I'll have to pass on the hunting trip."  
  
"Me as well," said Leon.  "I'd rather not disobey Morgana's orders."  
  
"That's fine," Merlin waved them off.  Then he turned to Gwaine, Percival, and Elyan.  "What about you lot?  What’s your excuse for skipping?"  
  
"We're training the junior knights today," said Gwaine.  "Looks like you'll have to go just the two of you."  He shot Merlin a wink.  
  
Arthur shrugged.  "Alright.  As long as I get to go hunting.  I’d rather have better company than Merlin, but I’ll settle for him."  
  
As Arthur checked their supplies, Merlin pulled Gwaine aside away from the prince’s earshot.  "What are you doing?" The warlock hissed.  
  
"Nothing," Gwaine tried.  Then he quivered under Merlin's stare.  "I wanted to give you two some time alone."  Gwaine waggled his eyebrows.  "I heard Arthur was experiencing some frustrations, so you might want to give him a hand."  Gwaine gave Merlin a filthy grin.  “You know what I mean.”  
  
"It's not like that," said Merlin through clenched teeth.  "He's a child."  
  
"He's still Arthur."  
  
"He's not _my_ Arthur.  I won't take advantage of him like that, Gwaine,” Merlin said sternly.  “He doesn't even realize he likes men yet."  
  
“Yes, but it can just be a friend helping out another friend.  You know."  Gwaine made a jerking motion with his hand.  
  
Merlin shook his head, swallowing a blush.  "No, Gwaine.  And don’t you say anything to Arthur about this!"  
  
"Fine," the knight said with a sigh.  "You can at least spend time with him as friends.  I can tell this Arthur really looks up to you."  
  
"Not sure if he wants to be my friend at the moment," said Merlin.  "His moods are rather unpredictable.”

Gwaine laughed.  “That’s because he’s a teenager.  Don’t you remember those days?”

“I try not to,” said Merlin, thinking of the several scares he’d had as a teenager with his magic.  While most young teen boys were learning to cope with inconvenient erections and their voices cracking at odd times, Merlin was had been more concerned with making sure his magic didn’t manifest when he grew angry.  “Well, I'd better get back to Arthur."  
  
"Have fun.  Bring me back a deer," Gwaine called.  With a swish of his dark locks, Gwaine left the field.  The other knights trailed behind him, laughing and talking with their comrades-in-arms.  
  
"Ready?" Arthur asked, oblivious of the conversation.   He rode up to Merlin, already atop his horse.    
  
"Ready," Merlin agreed, swinging up on his horse with just a touch of magic.  Then he grinned at Arthur, motioning in front of him.  "Prats first," Merlin said sweetly.  
  
Arthur rolled his eyes as he urged his horse out in front.  "You're so funny, Merlin.  Really witty."    
  
"Thank you, Sire.  I’ve been around you so long I know exactly what you like." said Merlin with a smirk.  Then the warlock realized what he’d said.  “I mean, comments wise,” he quickly added.  “You like it when I say ridiculous things.  Like when I call you a clotpole, for instance.”

Arthur frowned.  “What the hell is a clotpole?”

Merlin grinned.  “In two words?”

“Yeah.”

“Prince Arthur,” Merlin triumphantly declared.

“Merlin, that makes no sense.  That’s not even a word.”

Merlin scoffed at that.  “It is so!  I made it up.  That means it counts.  Court Sorcerer’s privilege.”

“I’m pretty sure that doesn’t exist,” Arthur complained.    
  
Merlin and Arthur rode out of Camelot, their horses galloping across the cobblestones as they bickered about nothing at all.  Soon they reached the dirt trails among the forest.  Arthur led them deeper into the forest as he scouted out the perfect place to hunt. 

"So, Merlin, you have me at a disadvantage."  
  
"How'd you mean?" Merlin cocked his head.  
  
"You seem to know everything there is to know about me, but I hardly know anything about you.  Let's start with where you're from."  
  
"Oh," said Merlin, pleased by Arthur's interest.  "I'm from a small village called Ealdor.  When I first came into your service, it was overrun by bandits.  We asked your father for help but his hands were tied because our village was technically under King Cenred's jurisdiction.  So instead of Camelot’s official assistance, you, me, Gwen, and Morgana went there to help defend the village."  
  
"You're kidding."  Arthur gaped at him.    
  
"Nope!”  Merlin beamed at Arthur, remembering how he’d taken charge of the frightened villagers over those few days. “You trained everyone how to fight."  
  
"I wasted my time teaching peasants how to fight?"  
  
Merlin raised an eyebrow.  "You clearly didn't think it was a waste of time, or else you wouldn't have done it."  
  
"And Morgana and Gwen helped defend the village?”  Arthur pursed his lips, considering the scenario.  “I’m sorry, I just have a hard time believing it."   
  
"Morgana saved your life, actually," said Merlin.  "You were about to be run through.  I was too far away to help, and I couldn’t use magic right then.  She blocked the man who was going to stab you.”

“I was saved by a girl?  How embarrassing!” Arthur shuddered.  “I’ll bet she never let me hear the end of that.”

“And, as the daughter of a blacksmith, Gwen was very proficient with a sword,” Merlin added.  “She was also instrumental to our victory.  Without the women, we would’ve lost."  
  
Arthur looked thoughtfully at Merlin.  "Perhaps I could be wrong about women being useful outside domestic matters, if Gwen and Morgana saved our lives.  It goes against what I was taught, but my father doesn’t know everything.  He made that clear when he ordered the Purge."  
  
_Finally, he gets it_ , Merlin thought.  "It took you awhile, but you learned to think for yourself,” said Merlin.  “You stopped being so concerned about what your father might think.  Now you follow your gut and try to always do what’s right.  You've built a world where everyone is treated equally, no matter their rank, gender, age, skin color..."  
  
Arthur looked at him thoughtfully.  "I did want to ask about Elyan, but I didn’t want to seem rude.  Father never knighted any men with dark skin, but apparently I did."  
  
"You told me skin color didn't matter to you," said Merlin.    
  
Arthur nodded.  "And so it shouldn't, Elyan's a brilliant swordsman."  
  
Merlin smiled at that, impressed that Arthur hadn’t carried that prejudice at fourteen.  As they traipsed through the forest, Merlin saw plenty of game roaming around.   The warlock was certain that they’d come across several suitable places to stop and hunt, but for some reason Arthur didn’t want to stop just yet.  
  
"So how did we end up as friends?" Arthur inquired as they continued down the dirt road, their horses softly nickering as they walked at a gentle pace.  "It seems so unlikely, as we have completely opposite personalities."  
  
"Oh believe me, Sire, it took a little while," Merlin informed him.  "I thought you were a right prat at the beginning.”

“Oi, you can’t speak to me like that!” Arthur cried.  “Honestly, Merlin.”

Merlin ignored him.  “But then we started to respect each other.  At the beginning, if Arthur got in trouble, he would blame it on me and I'd get sent to the stocks."  
  
Arthur grinned.  "Sounds like something I'd do."  
  
"But then after a few times of watching me get pummeled with rotten fruit, Arthur started taking his own punishments.  He stopped blaming things on me and took responsibility for his actions."  Merlin recalled this with a fond smile.  Arthur might deny it until his dying breath, but it was mainly Merlin who had instilled this change in him.  
  
"Ugh," Arthur made an icky face, as if he’d just swallowed a lemon.  "No thanks.  I’d rather blame someone else."  
  
Merlin continued on.  "Then I really started to like Arthur better when he started treating people below his station with respect.”

“Including you?” Arthur wondered.

Merlin chuckled.  “Yes, you treated me with respect as well.  You started valuing my opinion and once you even called me wise!”

Arthur looked horrified.

“Also, I especially liked it when Arthur stood up to his father because of something he believed in,” said Merlin.   “It showed true strength of character.”

"I can't imagine standing up to my father," Arthur shuddered.   “That sounds like suicide.”  
  
"Yes, well, you grew more confident about challenging your father as you got older," said Merlin.  "It also helped that I encouraged you to stand up to him."  
  
Arthur wryly smiled.  "Sounds to me I was quite the brave sort."  
  
"Don't let it go to your head," Merlin advised.  “But yes, you were.  You still are.”  
  
After a break in their conversation, Arthur had them stop to hunt.  Merlin tied the horses to a tree while Arthur readied his crossbow.  He escorted Arthur through the forest as the prince tried to find favorable game to shoot.  Merlin made sure to make extra noise as he moved through the trees, stepping on twigs and the like just to annoy Arthur.  
  
"Can't you be quieter?" Arthur hissed after Merlin stepped on something yet again.  A doe had been in Arthur’s sights, but thanks to Merlin’s cracking noise, she had bounded away.  “You’re scaring all the game away.”

“I’m just not good at hunting,” Merlin claimed.  “It’s much more your thing than mine.”

“Then why did you agree to come?”

“Because it was what you wanted to do for the day, and I wanted to honor that.”

“I’m the prince, you _have_ to honor everything I say,” Arthur pointed out.

“If you say so, Sire,” said Merlin, shaking his head.  “Maybe it was because I was being nice, and I wanted your company.”

“Of course you want my company, I’m brilliant,” Arthur agreed.

Merlin didn’t even dignify that with a response.

.~.  
  
After several hours without success, Arthur turned his attention to more pressing matters.  "We'll eat lunch here," Arthur declared, pointing at a nearby flat patch, with plenty of grass for the horses to graze.  

Merlin tied the horses and then went to ready their meal.  He found they had an ample amount of bread, cheese, and grapes.   Merlin would’ve preferred venison or even rabbit, but it was just too much fun to keep torturing Arthur.  Perhaps after lunch he would stop interfering with the hunt.  All kidding aside, he did want Arthur to have an enjoyable experience hunting.  Merlin spread out a blanket for them to sit on, then filled their gleaming silver goblets with wine.   The warlock had barely finished setting things out before Arthur made his presence known.    
  
“Oh, for me?  Thanks!”  Sitting down on the blanket next to Merlin, Arthur took a big swig of wine from one of the goblets.  "Whew, it’s hotter than blazes out here,” said the prince, wiping the sweat from his brow.  “So, I have a question for you Merlin.”

“Shoot,” said the warlock, praying that it wouldn’t have anything to do with their personal lives.  

“Gwaine tells me that in some ways you're closer to me than the queen.  What did he mean by that?"  Arthur intently regarded Merlin, watching for some sign of explanation.  
  
Merlin winced, hoping Gwaine hadn't let anything too damning slip about his true feelings for Arthur.  When they returned, he was going to murder Gwaine.  
  
"We do have a very close friendship,” Merlin admitted.  “Arthur and I have an unfortunate habit of saving each other's lives.  There were several times where Arthur would've sacrificed his life to save mine, and I would've done the same for him.  After going through all that, we couldn’t help but grow close."  
  
Arthur didn’t look convinced.  "I almost sacrificed my life.  For _yours_."  
  
"Oh yes!  Although if we were keeping score, I saved Arthur's life many more times than you saved mine," Merlin recalled.  "Arthur never knew until I confessed that I had magic in my fifth year of service."  
  
Arthur was intrigued by this.  "That’s a long time to keep a secret.  Was he grateful or upset?"  
  
"Oh, he was very grateful," said Merlin, remembering how Arthur had snogged him senseless that night, thanking the warlock for his years of protection.  

They began to eat.  Merlin thought this might halt Arthur’s inquisition, but it didn’t.  
  
"You seem very devoted to Arthur," said the teenager after swallowing a piece of cheese. 

“He is my king,” said Merlin, as if that explained everything.  “I publicly pledged my loyalty to him the day I was appointed as court sorcerer.”

"That’s just it though, Merlin.  It’s not just duty for you.  I can tell you truly care about him.  I'm not sure I deserve that kind of devotion.  I'm an ass and everyone knows it.  They probably call me that behind my back." 

The poor boy looked so dejected that Merlin wanted to kiss all the hurt away and banish Arthur’s doubts forever.  But such an action would not be appreciated.  Merlin really needed to be more careful about letting his true feelings for the king shine through.  Arthur was already starting to suspect the depth of his feelings, although thankfully the romantic aspect had not been mentioned.  
  
"You always deserved it," Merlin said firmly.  "Arthur, you're under an immense amount of pressure to succeed at everything that you do.  That's a hard burden to bear.  Not that it excuses your behavior, but it makes sense why you lash out the way you do." 

“I guess.” 

They finished the rest of their lunch in silence.  Merlin automatically packed up their belongings, but Arthur did help.   Merlin thought Arthur would resume the hunt after lunch, but the prince had other ideas.  
  
“There’s a lake nearby.  We’ll go there first to cool off before we set off again.” 

Merlin reluctantly followed Arthur down a worn foot path until they reached the lake. 

“I didn’t know this path cut through,” said Merlin.  “You have a good lay of the land, Arthur, even at this young age.”

“Nice,” said Arthur, acknowledging the compliment tempered with an insult.  Then the prince removed his shirt.  "Time for a swim.”  Arthur motioned for Merlin to do the same. 

“You go on, I think I’ll sit this one out,” said Merlin. 

“Oh, no.  You’re coming with me, idiot."  Arthur dragged a protesting Merlin down to the riverbank.  Then the prince removed the rest of his clothes, throwing them in a pile on the muddy bank.   “Come on, Merlin.  Strip.”  
  
Merlin averted his eyes, trying not to think about Arthur’s tempting order.   He would very much like to get in the lake with a naked Arthur, but Merlin had promised himself not to take advantage of Arthur.  This Arthur was practically still a child, and it wouldn’t do for Merlin to think of him in an adult situation.  "I think I'll just stay here and keep an eye out."  
  
"Oh come on, don't be a prude," Arthur goaded.  He noticed Merlin was blushing.  "I don't know what's going on with you, Merlin.  You saw everything last night."  
  
"It’s just... er, proprietary dictates that I don’t, um," Merlin stammered.  
  
"What is wrong with you?"  Arthur frowned.  "Weren't you my manservant?  You must've seen me naked every day."  
  
"I saw my Arthur naked, not you," Merlin clarified. 

"So?  What's the difference?" Arthur asked.  
  
_At least two inches_ , Merlin automatically thought.  He blushed yet again, wishing that his mind hadn't gone there.  If he kept acting strangely, Arthur would know something was up.  
  
"You're right, I'm being silly," said the warlock.  "I'll join you."  Merlin magically removed his clothes and jumped into the lake before Arthur could take more than a glance at his nether regions.  Thankfully the sun had warmed the water and it wasn’t too chilly.  
  
Merlin surfaced and Arthur immediately jumped in after him.  Then the prince splashed him, the murky water getting in Merlin’s eye. 

“Hey!” The warlock protested.  “I wasn’t ready.”

"Just remember, no magic," Arthur warned.    
  
“Fine,” Merlin agreed.  “But that means I'm at a disadvantage.  Even at your age, I'll bet you're stronger than me."  
  
"Why don't we find out?" Arthur challenged.

 “You asked for it,” Merlin warned, before climbing on Arthur’s shoulders in an attempt to wrestle him down.

Arthur spun around in a circle, trying to throw Merlin off.   He eventually succeeded and gathered up Merlin in his arms, tossing him into the water.   Merlin sputtered as he came up, and launched a counterattack.  The warlock was quite successful because he knew exactly where Arthur was ticklish – under the arms.  They playfully splashed each other and wrestled for a good half-hour, stopping a few times to catch their breaths.    
  
"So, Merlin, tell me about this mystery partner of yours, the one you’re missing," said Arthur.  The water covered his bottom half, much to Merlin’s relief.   But Arthur’s toned chest was on display for Merlin’s viewing pleasure.  "What are they like?"  
  
"Oh," Merlin’s cheeks colored a bit.  "Well.  They're brave and noble.  They can be funny at times, sometimes without meaning to.  They have a nasty temper, but they've been doing better lately controlling it.  They are committed to me and I to them.  We have a soul connection that I can't explain.  To be together, we had to break a few social norms.  Unfortunately, circumstances dictate that our relationship must be kept secret."  
  
"Except you told me that some people seem to know about it," said Arthur.  “I’ll bet you can’t keep a secret to save your life.”  Then Arthur realized what he was saying.  “Well, besides the whole magic thing.”  
  
"It’s one of the worst kept secrets in Camelot,” Merlin admitted.  “To my embarrassment, some people were able to deduce what we are to each other."  
  
"I'm not surprised,” said Arthur with a nod.  “You probably moon over them day and night."  
  
"I do not!" Merlin scowled.  "That's very presumptuous of you."  
  
“Why thank you, Merlin.”  Arthur snickered at that.  "So, most important question.  Are they attractive?"  
  
"Mmm, yes," Merlin sighed dreamily.  "They're the most beautiful person in the world, inside and out.  I will never love another."  
  
"See?  Mooning." Arthur immediately called him out on it.  "You’re spouting romantic drivel.  It doesn't suit you, Merlin.  Do they even like that sort of thing?"  
  
"Yes," said Merlin.  "Although they'd never admit it.  We write each other notes from time to time.  I cherish every one."  
  
"You write love notes?"  Arthur guffawed at that.  "But you’re already together and have no need to woo them.  Why waste your time?"  
  
"I never thought I'd end up with this person, so I try to express my love to them as much as I can," said Merlin.  "They're attractive enough to where they could have anyone.  But for some reason they chose me."  
  
"And you never cheat on them?”  Arthur pressed.  “Doesn't being with one person get old?"  
  
Merlin shook his head.  "No.  We value our intimacy.  Our relationship is built on deep love and trust, which to me is much better than having a bed partner I barely know."  
  
"If you say so," said Arthur, a disbelieving note in his voice.    He stared at Merlin, as if sizing him up.  Merlin knew the look well.  It was one that Arthur had right before he would ask a personal question.

“You know, I saw you daydreaming, yesterday at lunch.  You were staring off into the distance but you looked so sad.  Did that have anything to do with your lover?"  
  
Merlin nodded. 

“When are they coming back?” Arthur asked.

"The thing is, I don't know when or if they're coming back." Merlin looked down so Arthur wouldn’t see the tears prickling at the corners of his eyes.  "It's really hard to keep going without their reassuring presence in my life.  Everything in the castle reminds me of them."  
  
"So they lived in the castle?"  
  
Merlin groaned.  He hadn't meant to give that detail away.  Not that he expected Arthur to figure out the truth, but still.  

Arthur continued his barrage of questions.  "How did you know they were the one for you?"   
  
"I suppose it was the depth of my feelings that gave it away,” said Merlin.  “It was agony being around them and not being able to confess my feelings.  When we weren’t with each other, it was agony being away from them because I was certain they would fall for someone else.  Thankfully that didn’t happen.  We finally confessed our feelings and we’ve been together ever since.  Until now.”  
  
"Why did they leave you?" Arthur wondered.  “All joking aside, I think you'd make a decent match for someone."  
  
"Thanks."  Merlin tried to take comfort in that.  "They didn't leave by choice.”  
  
"What'd you mean?"  
  
"I'd rather not go into it, if you don’t mind," said Merlin, clamming up.  It was too painful to keep talking about this with Arthur.  It made him miss his king too much.    
  
As Merlin didn’t want to keep talking about his absent lover, Arthur changed the subject to a safe topic.  "You're more built that I would've guessed."  
  
Merlin blushed yet again.  He watched Arthur assess his form, something he normally wouldn’t mind, but now it just made him uneasy.  "I know, with clothes on I look like a beanpole,” Merlin joked.  “I join Arthur at training on Sundays.  Not for sword fighting, mind you, but I do strength training.  Arthur wanted me to bulk up, and to get some exercise.  He said I needed to get off my lazy bum.  He clearly doesn’t know how much I run around at the magic school.”    
  
“Not to assume, but you seem like someone who hates exercise.”  Arthur gave him a knowing grin.

“You’re not wrong.  I do it for him,” said Merlin.  “Much like many other things.”

“With all you do for him and your students, it’s amazing you have time for your romantic relationship.”

Merlin coughed uncomfortably.  “Well, it’s a balancing act.  How about we get dressed and get back to hunting?”

Arthur grinned.  “I like the way you think.” 

Then Merlin was gifted with a view of Arthur’s firm ass striding back up the riverbank.  The warlock quickly turned around, but he couldn’t erase the image from his head.  After he’d given Arthur enough time to get dressed, Merlin summoned his own clothes, as he didn’t feel comfortable giving Arthur an eyeful.

They saddled up, and Arthur led them around the forest before they found an optimum hunting spot.  Merlin took care not to make any noise and Arthur quickly shot a deer and a few rabbits.   Having caught enough food that they could carry, Merlin and Arthur soon returned to the castle.

Morgana and Gwen were waiting for them.  As soon as they arrived, the women headed straight for Merlin.

“How’d it go today?” Morgana asked, pulling the warlock aside.

“Fine,” said Merlin, watching Arthur swagger over towards the stables, shouting to anyone who would listen about his superior hunting skills.  “I think he likes me better now.  We had a couple bonding moments.  Not like that, although I did accidentally see him naked.”

Gwen raised her eyebrows at that, but didn’t comment.

“Great,” Morgana said distractedly.  “Merlin, we need a better cover story for why King Arthur isn’t around.  The infectious disease claim can only work for so long.”

“I know,” Merlin sighed.  “The only thing I can think of is to convince Arthur to do it.  I can perform the aging spell on him and then-”

“Aging spell?”  Gwen gasped. 

“Yes, of course.  I’ll have to return him to his former age,” said Merlin. 

“But why didn’t you perform this spell on Arthur the night he showed up as a teenager?” Gwen asked. 

“Whatever was done to Arthur included memory loss in conjunction with the de-aging,” Merlin reminded her.  “I have yet to find a cure for it.  A simple aging spell wouldn’t return his memories.”

“Oh,” said Gwen, looking dejected.

“Morgana, are you sure this is a good idea?” Merlin worried.  “If Arthur messes up badly enough, people will believe that he’s enchanted.”

“You can be there by his side to make sure he doesn’t do anything too fatal,” said Morgana. 

“Yes, but he may not agree to it,” Gwen added.

“I’ll ask him,” Merlin vowed.  “He may not be as reluctant as you think.  I think he’d enjoy playing king and ordering people about.” 

They stopped talking when Arthur came wandering back over.  The prince’s expression was especially smug.  “We’re having venison for dinner tonight.  All thanks to me.”

“Such humility,” said Merlin.  “To be fair, it was a tough shot.”

“ _Thank_ you,” Arthur shot back. 

Morgana and Gwen left them to their bickering, citing a need to get away from the hot sun.

.~.

The rest of the day passed without incident, not counting Arthur’s incessant bragging about his kill to anyone who would listen.  Merlin and Arthur returned to the king’s chambers, finding that Gwen and Lancelot had yet to turn in. 

As Arthur got ready for bed, he started going through the drawers, looking for one of his father’s rings.  He found it among a collection of objects that were meaningful to him.  Arthur rummaged through the drawer, finding a coin bearing his mother’s sigil, a boar’s tusk from one of his first kills, a ceremonial dagger, and an unidentified piece of cloth.  Arthur took it out, finding it was a ratty blue neckerchief.  The only person he’d seen wearing one was Merlin, but only on his day not working at the magic school.   He decided to ask Merlin about it.

“Merlin?”

“Hmm?”  The warlock was changing into his softest nightclothes.  After a long day on a horse, he was rather looking forward to sleeping in his comfortable bed.

“I found this in with my most treasured belongings.”  Arthur held up the neckerchief, waving it under Merlin’s nose.  “Why on Earth would I have your neckerchief in with my personal belonging?”

Merlin fidgeted nervously.  “I’m sure I don’t know, Sire.”

“Right.  The maids must’ve accidentally put it there when they cleaned up,” Arthur decided.  “Well, goodnight Merlin.”  Arthur climbed into bed and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Merlin sighed with relief.  He was grateful that this Arthur was oblivious in his powers of deduction, because this could’ve been a dead give away concerning the true state of their relationship.   If that had happened, Merlin didn’t know what he’d do.  Then he considered Morgana’s plan about aging this Arthur to play the king.   Merlin would ask Arthur about it tomorrow.  

It took a while for Merlin to drift off.  The image of Arthur in the lake lingered in his mind along with the subsequent guilt attached to enjoying it.

.~.

End Chapter 6

A/N:  This was a long one!  Tell me what you thought!  Also I put a great joke in there.  I hope someone gets it and comments.  


	7. Royal Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin prepares young Arthur for the monumental task of assuming the throne.

Disclaimer: Merlin is not mine.

A/N:  Thanks for all the comments and kudos!  Keep ‘em coming.

A/N2:  WARNING, alludes to past non-con, almost rape.  (Not M/A.)

.~.

Chapter 7:  Royal Training

.~.  
  
"Merlin! Wake up!"  
  
Merlin groaned as someone pulled the covers off, leaving him shivering in his previously toasty warm bed.  His blurry vision cleared to show a fully dressed teenage Arthur standing before him, casually waving as he took credit for stealing Merlin’s blankets.  
  
"What is it?" Merlin moaned.  "The sun's not even up.  If it's not an emergency, let me sleep for another half hour."  
  
Arthur grinned.  "Not sure.  Morgana just came by to ask me if you'd told me about the thing.  I said you hadn't and she said to ask you about it right away.  So, I'm asking. She was quite insistent."  
  
Surprised he hadn’t heard the knock, Merlin snorted.  "I'll bet."  He staggered out of bed, not ready for this conversation.  The warlock was already having enough issues being attracted to the young Arthur as it was.  If they agreed to Morgana's plan, it would be even more difficult for Merlin to remember that this Arthur was not his.  Still, he needed to sell Arthur on this.  
  
"Alright.  We're still claiming that King Arthur is quarantined with an infectious disease, but that excuse is starting to run thin.  We don't want that rumor to spread too far, lest Camelot look weak."  
  
Arthur nodded.   “Makes sense.”  
  
Merlin took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  "We need a new plan until we can bring the real Arthur back.  Would you pretend to be King Arthur and help us convince our subjects that he is well again?"  
  
Arthur’s face lit up, but then his expression morphed into a frown.  "How could I do that, looking like this?  I look much too young."  
  
Merlin grinned.  "I've already thought of that.  I'll perform an aging spell so you can return to your normal age of thirty.  However, the aging spell won't bring back your memories.  You'll still be who you are now, only you'll look older."  
  
Arthur mulled it over for a few moments before smirking, imaging all the adoration glory he would receive.  "Yeah, I'll do it.  Sounds like fun, getting to order people about."  
  
"There's a lot more to being king that ordering people around.  You'll have to be very convincing," Merlin warned.  "You can take cues from me, Morgana, and Gwen, but you must pass for the real king."  
  
"And how do I do that?"  Arthur wondered.  
  
"I'll train you today," said Merlin.  "Then, if you feel ready, you can step into the king's role."  
  
"I don't know if I can learn everything I need to know in a day." Arthur said nervously.  “My father has been preparing me for the kingship for years, but there’s still many things I don’t know or understand.”  
  
"We'll see," said Merlin.  "You're already used to many things that the king does, like sitting in on council meetings and training the knights."  
  
"Yes, but I've never led a council meeting before,” Arthur reminded him.  “That's expected of the king."  
  
"I'm confident you can do it," said Merlin.  "There is a council meeting scheduled for tomorrow morning, so you'll have to learn on the job.  But, like you said, you've been training to be king your whole life.  Just do the best you can and Gwen and I can handle the rest."  
  
Arthur swallowed hard, not sure he was deserving of Merlin’s adoring smile.  "Thank you for believing in me," said Arthur.  "I've never had someone have as much faith in me as you do.  It's very... flattering.  I know I haven't shown much maturity in my actions lately, but I will do my best not to let you, er, not to let Camelot down."  
  
Merlin smiled fondly at him.  "I know you will.  There's just one issue that I'm worried about."  Merlin gently placed a hand on Arthur's shoulder, causing the prince to flinch and pull away.   “That.”  
  
"I'm sorry," Arthur said in a small voice.   
  
The warlock sighed.  "It’s alright.  However, King Arthur is a very tactile person.  He's used to being casually touched by his knights and friends.  If you flinch tomorrow, it will make people suspicious."  
  
Arthur looked away at that. 

Merlin imagined he was hiding any tears that might compromise his strong facade.   “Arthur, what happened to you that made you fear touch?”  
  
"I don’t want to talk about it.  It's shameful," Arthur said, his voice shaking. 

“If I don’t know what happened, I can’t help you,” said Merlin, his heart going out to Arthur.   He didn’t want to manipulate the prince, but he needed Arthur to make their plan work.  “We might as well forget the plan…”

“Fine, I’ll tell you,” Arthur spat, placing his hands on his hips and entering Merlin’s personal space. 

Yet, Merlin was not intimidated by Arthur’s posturing.  After knowing Arthur for many years, and five of those in a relationship, he was used to Arthur’s overbearing body language.  He wasn’t backing down, even if Arthur wanted him to.

Arthur glared at Merlin, but he began his tale.  “Last year, my father announced in front of the entire court what a disappointment I was because I lost in the final round of the junior tournament.  That night I got really drunk and one of my father’s knights led me into the back room of the stables, promising to teach me some new moves.”  Arthur laughed hollowly.  “The idiot I am, I believed him.  Instead, he pushed me down onto the straw and held me down with magic.  He kissed me and removed my shirt, caressing all over my upper body.  Then he palmed me through my pants.  I knew he was going to do more, but someone came to the stables, so the knight let me go after that.  I swear Merlin, by God I will _never_ allow another man to take advantage of me again.”

“I’m so sorry.”  Merlin wanted to pull him in for a hug, but couldn’t, thanks to some unknown knight who’d fucked with Arthur’s perception of magic.  “Who was it?”

Arthur shook his head.  “I’d rather not say.”

Merlin realized he wasn’t going to be forthcoming, at least right now.  “Is that person still alive now?” Merlin asked.  “Because if so, I’ll destroy them.”

“No. They died years ago, I checked,” said Arthur.

“I hope you told your father.”

“Yes, I did.  I even mentioned the magic.  He didn’t believe me,” Arthur choked out.  “He said that I’d been drunk at the time, that I didn’t know what I was saying.   He believed the knight over his own son.  He didn’t think that his trusted friend would ever take advantage of me.”  Arthur’s lower lip trembled as he tried to push his emotions deep down to where they wouldn’t hurt him.

“I’m sorry,” Merlin said again. 

Arthur shrugged.  “I guess these things happen.”

“Well, they shouldn’t!”  Merlin said indignantly.  Then Merlin realized something important.  “You don’t seem to have any trouble if girls touch you.  Right?”

Arthur nodded.  “But whenever I’m intimate with a girl, I always have to be in control.”

“Have you told anyone else?”

“I didn’t want to at first, but I hated carrying the burden of this secret around, something I imagine you can relate to.”

Merlin nodded, motioning for Arthur to continue. 

“I finally got up the courage to tell Sir Kay, someone I knew I could trust.  He believed me and was sympathetic to my plight.  Every week he makes it a point to talk with me in the back room of the armory where we won’t be disturbed.  I can let him put his hand on my shoulder without flinching but anything more than that, I flinch.”

Merlin sighed.  “I wish I’d been there to prevent it.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I wonder why my Arthur didn’t tell me about this.”  Merlin couldn’t help but feel hurt that his Arthur hadn’t trusted him with this secret.

“I’m sure he was much too embarrassed,” said the young Arthur.  “He probably didn’t want you to think of him as weak.”

Merlin surmised that the real reason why Arthur didn’t tell him was because it might make Merlin hesitant to use magic on him in bed.  Merlin remembered the first time he’d used magic to hold Arthur down in bed.  Apparently Arthur had been more frightened than he’d let on, as he had uncharacteristically begged Merlin to be gentle. 

After a few weeks of this, Arthur had declared that he loved the magic and he thanked Merlin for helping him conquer his fear.   Now Merlin knew the full extent behind Arthur’s reticence for Merlin to use magic to dominate him in bed.  He was humbled that Arthur had tried it at all.

He returned his attention to teenage Arthur.

"I'm not sure how to help you," said Merlin.  "My first instinct is to get you used to people's touch, but I’m not sure how."  
  
"Hmm.  It's only men who I'm afraid of,” said Arthur.  “Perhaps if you brought a woman in the room with us, their presence would help me stay calm."  
  
Merlin agreed.  "Gwen or Morgana?"  
  
"Gwen," Arthur said quickly.  "She doesn't have magic and she'd be more sympathetic than Morgana.  I know it shouldn't matter about the magic, Merlin, but it still does, especially when I'm trying to conquer a fear like this."  
  
"Makes sense," said Merlin.  "Don't worry, I don't hold this against you."  
  
"Good," said Arthur.  He tentatively smiled at Merlin, who blushed at the intensity of Arthur's stare.  Thankfully Arthur was oblivious to Merlin’s pining.   “Well, I’m off to meet your student, Marie.  Don’t worry, Merlin, her virtue will remain intact.  Arthur patted Merlin on the back before he strode off to meet the girl. 

 

Merlin longingly watched him go.   
  
.~.  
  
Arthur returned in an hour, seemingly disappointed.  He claimed that he and Marie had little in common, that even Merlin’s company was preferable.  (Merlin couldn’t help but feel smug at this, remembering how his Arthur had often preferred Merlin’s company over that of females.)

 

Merlin and Arthur spent the rest of the day drilling over the king's duties.  Merlin prepared Arthur as much as he could for the monumental task.  They went over Arthur’s speech for the council and exactly what he would do to lead the knights’ training.  They reviewed the etiquette the king must follow during meals and when meeting new people.  The only wild card that worried Merlin was that the king was scheduled to listen to and advise his subjects who came to him with a problem to solve. However, Merlin was certain that with his and Gwen's help, Arthur could muddle through it.  
  
Merlin even gave Arthur the king's diary to read, after ensuring the entries didn't contain any evidence about his and Arthur's secret relationship.  The warlock hoped it could provide the teenage Arthur with some insight on what it was like to be king.  Young Arthur spent some time reading it after lunch, giving Merlin some time to himself. 

 

He found Gwen and asked for her presence after dinner to help Arthur overcome his fear of being touched.  Gwen thankfully agreed and Merlin returned to Arthur's side.  
  
As much as Merlin hated to admit it, this Arthur was growing on him, especially as he learned how to step into the role of king.  He could see Arthur's greatness shine through as he practiced delivering his speech.  Merlin was also impressed with Arthur’s bravery for agreeing to this scheme in the first place.  He decided this Arthur wasn't entirely unpleasant, especially when he smiled and flashed those baby blues at Merlin.  
  
When dinner rolled around, Merlin questioned Morgana to see if she or their students had found any spell to bring back Arthur's memories, but they hadn't had any luck.  Merlin vowed that he would double his efforts when he had the chance.   
  
As Merlin ate his roast chicken, he watched Arthur interact with his knights, who were sitting close by.  Without thinking, Lancelot placed a hand on Arthur's should and he flinched.  Lancelot didn't make a big deal of it, just kept talking to Arthur but Merlin could tell it had rattled him.  Merlin knew the feeling.  Thankfully, he and Arthur were working on that very issue tonight.  
  
.~.  
  
Gwen met Arthur and Merlin in the king's chambers soon after the dessert course was served.   Arthur paced back and forth around the room, anxiety overwhelming the prince as he was consumed with negative thoughts.  
  
"Gwen," Merlin nodded at her.  "Thank you for coming."  
  
Gwen gave them a sunny smile.  She gently squeezed Arthur's hand, the first time she'd voluntarily touched him since he’d reverted to a teenage state.   
  
Arthur didn't flinch at all and even stopped pacing.  
  
"I'll just be over here reading."  Gwen took a seat at the table, opened her book, and pretended to ignore them.   
  
Merlin knew she was doing anything but.    
  
"Right," said Merlin, all business as he motioned for Arthur to have a seat.  "Arthur, what do you think would be the easiest thing to start with?"  
  
“How about you touch my hand?"   
  
Merlin nodded.  "Now, keep in mind, you are King Arthur.  You've overcome your fear of being touched.  You've even come to enjoy it.  Now, I'm going to gently touch your hand."  
  
"No magic?"  Arthur pleaded.  
  
"No magic," Merlin promised.  
  
"Alright."  Arthur's voice was just a bit shaky as he braced himself for contact.  
  
Merlin reached out his hand and gently clasped Arthur's own.    
  
Immediately, Arthur jerked his hand away.  "Sorry," he muttered.  “I can’t do it.”  
  
"It's alright."  Merlin thought hard about a way to help Arthur feel more comfortable about the situation.  Then he remembered Arthur’s comment about needing to be in control.  "How about you touch me first instead?"  
  
“Alright.”  Arthur reached out his hand to clasp Merlin's shoulder.  
  
"Very good!" Merlin praised.  "How about my arm?  My hand?  My head?"  
  
Arthur did all of those things.    
  
"I'm glad you've no problem with that," said Merlin.  "If you don't go out of the way to touch people, they'll think something is wrong with the king."  
  
"We wouldn't want that," said Arthur.  
  
"No we wouldn't," Merlin murmured.  He locked eyes with Arthur, who gave him a small smile.  Then Merlin placed his hand on Arthur's shoulder and he didn't flinch at all.  
  
"Merlin, I did it!" Arthur cried.  
  
"Great!" said Merlin.  "Why didn’t you flinch?"  
  
"I think the eye contact helped,” Arthur admitted.  “When that knight took advantage of me, he wouldn't look me in the eye.  When you do, I feel like I can trust you.  The fear doesn't go away but it greatly diminishes."  
  
Merlin beamed at him.  "Glad to hear it.  Let's continue, shall we?"  He stared at Arthur, trying not to get lost in those familiar blue eyes.  Instinctually, he took Arthur's hand in his.  
  
Arthur tensed, but it wasn't very noticeable.  He didn't pull his hand away, and seconds later he intertwined their fingers.  "Did I do alright?"  
  
Merlin smiled at Arthur, squeezing his hand once before letting go.  If he didn't pull his hand away now, Merlin wasn't sure he could later.  How he'd missed touching Arthur!  Merlin had taken the little things for granted, like being able to lace his fingers with Arthur's practically any time he wanted, even if it was hidden under a table.  Merlin needed human touch from his partner and he was suffering without it.  
  
They practiced awhile longer, with Merlin drilling Arthur about his kingly duties as he gently touched the prince on his arm, back, and shoulder.  Arthur had stopped flinching entirely by the end of their session.  Merlin desperately wanted to pull Arthur in for a hug, but he knew that would be going too far. He missed the intimate contact with his king, but handholding was better than nothing.  
  
"I'm feeling much better about this," Arthur proclaimed after they were finished.  
  
"You've done well, overcoming your fear in such a short time," said Merlin.  Then he frowned.  "The thing is, you've only done this with me.  We haven't tried it with other men."  
  
"I think I can manage," Arthur assured him.  "As long as I can look them in the eye, I'll be fine."  
  
"That should be the case most of the time," said Merlin.   He smiled proudly at Arthur.  "You're very brave."  
  
Arthur snorted at that.  "I'm not.  If I were, I'd have gotten over this fear by myself."  
  
"There is no shame in asking for help," Merlin said firmly.  "That was a difficult lesson for my Arthur to learn, but he finally did."  
  
"How?"  
  
"It was Arthur's first week as king and he was swamped with work.  He barely had time to eat or sleep, and he became quite short tempered.  He carried on like that for a week before caving and asking for my help."  
  
Arthur disbelievingly stared at Merlin.  "He asked _you_."  
  
"Yep!" Merlin said happily.  "That was when he finally started treating me as a true advisor."  
  
"If you say so."  
  
Arthur and Merlin shared a disbelieving glance and then burst out into laughter.  For Merlin it was good getting to laugh with Arthur again.  It reminded him of their epic friendship that took root well before they admitted their amorous feelings.  
  
At that, Gwen looked up from her book.  "If you'll not be needing me any longer, Merlin, I promised Lancelot that I'd meet him tonight."  
  
"Of course," said Merlin.  "We're finished."  
  
"Thank you, Guinevere," Arthur added.  "It helped having you here."  
  
Both Merlin and Gwen gaped at him.  "Did you just thank me?" Gwen's eyes grew wide.   
  
"Yes.  So?" Arthur crossed his arms, as if daring them to correct him.  
  
"You're welcome," Gwen said at last.  "Your highness."  With a quick nod at Merlin, the queen left the room.  
  
Merlin smiled at Arthur.  "That was very kind of you to thank her.  Why did you do it?"  
  
"Because I knew it would make you smile.  I quite like your smile, Merlin."  Arthur frowned.  "Huh, not sure where that came from."  
  
Merlin chuckled nervously.  Perhaps Arthur's subconscious was remembering their relationship.  Best to distract Arthur, then.    
  
"So, after you give the state of the kingdom speech, the council’s agenda for tomorrow is reducing the taxes for the poor, which comes up once a year.  Arthur usually starts with five percent and the council members talk him down to two percent.  You must remain firm against them, threaten them if you need to."  
  
"I can do that.  What else?"  Arthur asked.  
  
"You have training with the knights.  I'd suggest only demonstrating with your sword and not actually sparring with anyone, lest they see your subpar skills."  
  
"Hey!" Arthur cried.  "My skills are fine."  
  
"They're not as good as King Arthur's and you know it.”  Merlin gave him a knowing look.  “You can drill the knights and assess their form.  Just don't go challenging anyone to a duel."  
  
"Fine," Arthur skulked.  "You take all the fun out of training.  What else?"  
  
"You'll have to control your temper in public.  Arthur hardly ever loses his cool in front of his subjects, not wanting to remind them of Uther.  He usually waits until he can get me alone and then he rants to me."  
  
Arthur scowled at that, but nodded.  
  
"Also, be sure to be extra attentive to Gwen,” Merlin added.  “She is your wife after all."  
  
"Do we have to be all lovey dovey?”  Arthur wrinkled his nose.  “Cause I'd rather not."  
  
"I'd rather you not either," Merlin muttered.  
  
"What was that?" Arthur asked.  
  
"Oh, nothing," Merlin said hurriedly.  "No, you don't have to act all lovey dovey.  That’s not appropriate behavior for royalty in public anyway.  Just make sure that you talk to her, perhaps place a friendly hand on her shoulder."  
  
"I can do that."  
  
"Oh and you'll need to carry yourself like a king.  Arthur effortlessly strides around like the king he is, inspiring people to instinctually follow him.  Your walk is similar to his, but you'll need to walk with a bit more confidence.  But don’t be too confident tomorrow, since you're still recovering from being bedridden."  
  
Arthur was starting to look overwhelmed.  "What else?"  
  
" You cannot over indulge in alcohol, as you need to keep your wits about you.  And you must, I repeat, _must_ be kind to the servants.  Arthur makes a point of doing this.  If you don't, people will not believe you are the king."  
  
"I have to think about doing these things all the time when I'm king?" Arthur frowned.  "I didn’t realize it was so difficult.  I'm not sure if I can pull it off."  
  
"That's why Gwen and I will be there to help you," said Merlin.  "I'd ask Morgana too, but she needs to run the magic school while I'm with you."  
  
Arthur nodded.  "I'll do my best, but I'll have to follow your lead."  
  
"That's fine," said Merlin.  "I'm not expecting you to be perfect, just be good enough to convince everyone."  
  
"Very well," Arthur relented.  "Can you age me now?  I need to get used to a different body."  
  
"You do," Merlin admitted.  The warlock wasn't sure how he'd react when he saw what looked like his Arthur standing in front of him.  But Arthur was right.  Merlin needed to age him as soon as possible.  It wouldn’t do for Arthur to be tripping his own two feet.  
  
Merlin remembered the spell, which wasn’t that complicated.  He held out his hand and cast the aging spell on Arthur, muttering it under his breath as his eyes flashed golden.     
  
A golden mist covered the prince’s form.  Arthur's features slowly changed as he aged, morphing him into the man that Merlin knew and loved.  Merlin's breath caught in his throat as the spell wore off, leaving King Arthur standing before him.  This Arthur’s golden hair gleamed and was a bit longer in the back.  This Arthur was visibly bulkier, and the cares around the corners of his eyes had returned.  Arthur worriedly caught Merlin’s eye, misinterpreting Merlin’s reaction.  Then he walked over to the mirror.  
  
Arthur gaped at his own reflection.  "Wow, I look good.  Older, but good."  He immediately removed his shirt, stunned by his toned muscles.  "Merlin, look at my abs!"  
  
"Very nice, Sire," said Merlin, not feeling as bad about staring because at least this Arthur wasn't bodily underage.    
  
"And my biceps!" Arthur flexed, showing off his toned arms.  "Merlin, feel this!"  
  
Merlin didn't need any further coaxing.  He squeezed Arthur's right bicep, thanking the Gods that he'd gotten the spell right.  He could stare at this Arthur all day and never get his fill.  “It's quite firm, Sire," Merlin admitted, resisting the urge to stroke Arthur's arm.  "I'm sure the ladies will find you quite attractive."  
  
"Except that I'm married now."  Arthur shuddered.  Then he thought of something else.  "Maybe now that I've aged, Gwen will let me into her bed!"  
  
"I doubt it," said Merlin, knowing Gwen would never allow it for multiple reasons.  “You’d have a better chance with me.”    Then Merlin realized what he’d just said and his face flooded with embarrassment.  “I mean, er…”

 But Arthur just laughed.  “ _You_?  That’s a good one.  I’m not that desperate.”

“Yeah,” Merlin laughed awkwardly.  “Wouldn’t that be weird?”

“No wonder King Arthur keeps you around.  You’re great for a laugh.”  Arthur ranted on as he got ready for bed. 

Merlin groaned in frustration.   He told himself that at least he’d have some good stories to tell his Arthur when he finally returned.  His Arthur would moan and complain that Merlin had exaggerated the young Arthur’s immaturity and Merlin would insist that he was giving a totally accurate representation of the story.  Then they’d laugh about it and go a round or two on the bed.   This buoyed Merlin’s spirits considerably.

 After Arthur had bid him goodnight, Merlin fantasized about the first thing he’d do to Arthur in private when he finally returned, which included holding Arthur down with magic.

.~.

End Chapter 7

A/N:  Be sure to comment and leave kudos!  I appreciate your support.   An accurate summary for this chapter is Oblivious!Arthur is oblivious.

 


	8. Secrets Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur finds an incriminating note in his bedroom.

Disclaimer:  Merlin is not mine.

A/N:  I might have peeked at President Obama’s 2016 State of the Union speech for inspiration.   Thanks for all the comments and kudos.  Now on to the Merthur love!

.~.

Chapter 8: Secrets Revealed

.~.

_The next morning_

Decked out in his gleaming ceremonial armor and crimson cape, Arthur strode down the middle of the throne room aisle before taking his seat at the head of the table.  The golden fleur-de-lis crown adorned his brow, adding to the kingly facade.  His golden hair gleamed in the sunlight streaming in through the windows.  Arthur’s back was ramrod straight and he wasn’t smiling.  Arthur drummed his fingers on the wood table, waiting for all side conversations to cease.  Soon the room had gone quiet and all eyes rested on him.  

Arthur motioned for the nobles and knights to sit.  There was a great cacophony of chairs scraping on the stone floor before everyone could get settled.  The sound reverberated on the walls, rattling the stain glass windows until silence reigned.

Merlin sat at Arthur’s left, and Gwen sat on Arthur’s right.  Sporting her silver crown and red velvet gown, Gwen looked every inch the queen she was. 

Merlin crossed his fingers under the table, hoping Arthur wouldn't be too nervous, even though Merlin had just given him the best pep talk of the century.  That is, if ‘don’t be a clotpole’ was a good pep talk.

Not wasting any time, Arthur stood back up and started right into his annual ‘state of the kingdom’ speech that he’d practiced with Merlin. 

“Good morning to all.  I wish to report on the state of our fair kingdom of Camelot.”

Merlin noticed that Arthur’s pacing was a little fast and motioned with his hand to slow down.  Arthur noticed and took a slow deep breath before continuing. 

“First, I’d like to address magically related crimes.  Overall, magical attacks are at an all-time low.  We’ve only had two incidents of people using dark magic, and they were apprehended almost instantly, thanks to our magically inclined knights.  Ever since we repealed the ban on magic, the number of executions has fallen considerably.  We have only executed four criminals, two of which had magic.  Some claimed that they wanted revenge on my father, and since he no longer ruled, they went after me.  Still, it is amazing to live in a time where the noose is rarely used, and when it is, it’s not a public spectacle.”

Arthur’s claim was greeted with thunderous applause.  When the noise died down, Arthur continued on to the next item.  “It has come to my attention that although conditions for those in the lower town have improved, some are still homeless and suffering.  I will not stop working until every citizen of Camelot has a roof over his or her head and enough food to eat.  This is the right thing to do, and I will keep fighting until this happens.”

Merlin had to choke back tears as he saw what looked like ‘his’ Arthur pledge to help Camelot’s poorest.  He had to remind himself that Arthur was still a fourteen year-old inside.

Although Arthur glanced down at his notes more than he normally did, and his confidence level wasn’t quite as high, the king’s voice still resounded throughout the throne room, captivating all in attendance. Arthur spoke of the dwindling resources in the royal treasury, the condition of the army, and the plentiful grain stores.   Arthur ended on a high note, reminding everyone present of his plan to keep the peace in Albion.  
  
Arthur finished his speech amidst a smattering of applause.  Then he took a seat and led right into the next item on the agenda.  "I see we're discussing the tax reduction proposal today.  I propose a ten percent tax reduction for the indigent."  Arthur had a self-satisfied smirk on his face, knowing fully well he’d gone against Merlin’s advice.  
  
Merlin groaned at that, poking Arthur in his side under the table.  "Arthur, we agreed on five percent," he hissed but Arthur ignored him.  
  
"And where will we get that money from?"  Lord Astley, one of Arthur’s least favorite people on the council spoke up.  “We need that tax money to line the royal treasury.”  
  
Arthur gave him a wicked grin.  "How about I cut your stipend?  You've been living off the Pendragons' generosity ever since I was a boy.  Perhaps it's time for you to find another patron to steal from.”  
  
Lord Astley leapt to his feet, his cheeks red and his fists tightly clasped.  "Say that again."  
  
Arthur stood up to challenge him, squaring his shoulders and raising his voice as he enunciated each word.  " _Perhaps it's time_..."  
  
"Excuse us a moment."  Merlin grabbed a surprised Arthur and dragged him out of the throne room through the servants’ entrance.  "What are you doing?" Merlin hissed.  "You can't just insult Lord Astley.  He's a cousin of the king of Essetir and possibly a spy.  We need him here under our supervision so he doesn't cause trouble.  What happened to the plan we made yesterday?"  
  
"I wanted to do things my way, to see if I have what it takes to be king," Arthur explained.  “I had an idea and I went with it.”  
  
Merlin gritted his teeth at that.  "You're going to march back in there and apologize to Lord Astley.  Then you're going to reduce the proposed tax percentage to five."  
  
Arthur scowled at Merlin.  "I don't have to listen to the likes of you."  
  
"Must I remind you what's at stake here?  You _must_ be convincing.  King Arthur would never blatantly insult someone like that, at least not in a council meeting."  
  
Arthur hesitated, nervously wringing his hands as he confessed, “His father was the one who hurt me.”

“Oh.  Well.” Merlin didn’t know what to say, so he placed a comforting arm on Arthur’s shoulder.  “I’m sorry about what Lord Astley’s father did, but you cannot punish him for his father’s sins.  You of all people should understand that.” Merlin dropped his arm, pleased that Arthur hadn’t flinched.

“Fine,” Arthur relented.  “I’ll apologize.  But that's it.  I have a hunch about the taxes.  I would really appreciate if you would trust my judgment."  
  
“Alright,” Merlin said.  “But if it goes wrong, you’ll stick to our plan for the rest of the day.”

Arthur agreed, and they returned to the throne room, sitting in their respective places.  The knights and lords argued over the next hour, all with differing opinions about how much taxes they should collect from the poor.  Arthur listened intently, validifying each person’s point on the issue.    
  
To Merlin's utter astonishment, Arthur was able to get the council to agree to a four percent tax reduction for the poor.  Merlin had been expecting it to be no more than two percent.   Arthur had charmed the council into doing him a favor, one that he’d promised to repay them when the time was right.   The king dismissed the council, his two agenda items already accomplished.

“So, _Mer_ lin, what do you say now?” Arthur drawled as Merlin walked in step at his side.

“The way you spoke about helping the poor really warmed my heart," Merlin admitted.  "It reminded me of my king."  
  
"That's quite a compliment," said Arthur.  “I know you think very highly of him.”  
  
“That being said, you got lucky with the tax reduction," Merlin scolded him.  "Don't deviate from the plan again."  
  
Arthur rolled his eyes, an action which looked quite childish on the king’s thirty year-old body.  “We’ll see.”

.~.

Arthur took lunch with Gwen and Merlin around midday.  They discussed how well Arthur had done and what the rest of the day would look like.  

As the servants cleared away the meal, Merlin was pleased to see Arthur going out of his way to thank them.  It seemed like Arthur was sticking to the plan, at least in that respect. 

An hour later, it was time for the king to meet with his subjects and address any issues that they would bring before him.  Arthur took a seat on the throne, his golden crown still upon his head.  This time, he allowed a small smile to grace his lips.    
  
Again, Merlin stood at his left side, with Gwen at his right.  This was the first time in recent history that queen and court sorcerer were both present during the king's meeting with his people.  Merlin knew Arthur might need both of their advice to decide how to handle each unique situation.  The issues could range from something as petty as a missing chicken to a stolen fiefdom.  Merlin fervently hoped that, with their help, Arthur would be up to the task.  
  
During the first few requests, Arthur asked for Gwen or Merlin's opinion, and sometimes both before determining a sentence. 

Merlin was pleased that everything was running smoothly.  Arthur hadn’t made any blunders and he was listening to Merlin’s advice.  Then two women approached the throne, carrying a baby between them both, who was beginning to wail.  
  
"Good afternoon."  Arthur nodded politely at the women, who awkwardly nodded at him.  "What is it you ask of me?"   
  
"It’s about the baby, your highness,” said one of the women.  “He is mine, but she claims otherwise," said one of the women.  
  
"No, he is my baby!  She stole him from me and passed him off as her own." The other woman claimed.  
  
"That's not true and you know it!"  
  
The women continued bickering until Arthur held up his hand in silence.  "You want me to decide who the baby belongs to?  Very well.  I have a solution."  
  
Merlin frowned and whispered in his ear.  "Arthur, I really think you should-"  
  
"Not now, Merlin.  I've got this," the king growled.  Then he turned back to the women.  "To make matters fair, I suggest that you cut the child in half, so that both of you have an equal share."  
  
Merlin was about to shout his outrage, but Arthur subtly shook his head.

A collective gasp went up in the throne room, as everyone present had never heard their beloved king offer such a violent answer.  
  
The first woman nodded.  "I agree.  That’s fair."  
  
But the second woman burst into tears.  "I'd rather give my baby to her rather than see him killed.  Please be merciful, my king."  
  
"And there we have it," Arthur said smugly.  "Your caring reaction clearly proves the child is yours."  
  
"Oh thank you, your highness!" The woman smiled and pulled the baby into her arms.  She gently cradled him and the baby immediately quieted.  
  
But the other woman wasn’t willing to concede so easily.  "No!  He is rightfully mine!"  
  
That was when Merlin noticed a necklace swinging around her neck, a medallion with a sinister eye etched into the stone.  The warlock reached out with his magic, finding that the medallion carried a faint enchantment.  
  
"Let me see your necklace," Merlin commanded.  
  
The woman refused, clutching the medallion to her.  
  
Merlin sighed and called it to him.  The clasp opened and the chain flew off the woman’s neck to land neatly in his hand.  Then, with a tiny explosion of green light, the medallion disappeared, thanks to the warlock’s efforts.    
  
The woman winced, rubbing her temples.  "What happened?  My head hurts and I feel strange."  
  
Merlin quickly filled her in.  “I’m afraid you’ve been enchanted by your necklace.”  He surmised that the enchanted medallion had taken one of her desires, in this case wanting a baby of her own, and multiplied it a hundred fold.   “I’d be more careful next time someone offers you a piece of jewelry.”  
  
Once the woman realized what had happened, she apologized to her friend, who immediately forgave her.   They turned to leave but Arthur cleared his throat and they turned back.  
  
"There is still the matter of your sentence," Arthur reminded the woman.  
  
Merlin frowned at Arthur.  Why would he give a sentence to someone who'd clearly been enchanted against their will?  “My king, I don’t think-”  
  
Arthur raised his eyebrows and Merlin backed off.  
  
The woman in question bowed low before her king.  "I'll do anything to atone for my actions."  
  
"Very well," said Arthur.  "I hereby sentence you to help your friend care for the child, if she will accept your help."  He warmly smiled at the women.  
  
The baby's mother smiled and threw her arms around her friend.  After they finished embracing, they thanked their king for his wisdom.  
  
Merlin backed off after that.  He let Arthur handle the rest of the people, only giving advice if Arthur asked for it.  Finally, the last person’s problem had been addressed.  Merlin heard the people muttering about how effective the king's methods were, even if they were a bit unorthodox.  He couldn’t be prouder of the teenage Arthur.  
  
"So, what'd you think?" Arthur grinned at Merlin after they bid Gwen goodbye.  "Did I do alright?"  
  
"You did great."  Merlin stared at him with open admiration.  "How did you come up with the solution for discovering the baby's true mother?  I never would've thought of that.  It was genius."  
  
Arthur shrugged.  "I read it in a book."  
  
"You went above and beyond my expectations.  You really impressed me," Merlin admitted.    
  
Arthur grinned, soaking up the compliment.  "Today I strived to be as good as the king that you so desperately miss."  Then he had to add, “You’re welcome.”  
  
.~.  
_  
That afternoon_

Merlin was so impressed with Arthur’s kingly impersonation that he decided to leave his side for a few hours to continue his research.   Arthur only had the knights’ training before Merlin would rejoin him at dinner.  Surely he could handle that without Merlin’s presence.

On his way to the magic school, Merlin spotted Arthur leading the knights' training in the courtyard.  He seemed at ease putting them through drills, like he was born to lead them.  Once again Merlin was thankful that this Arthur was convincing.  It wouldn't do for anyone to become suspicious that their king was acting strangely.  
  
Merlin spent most of his time at the school researching a cure for Arthur.  He would look up periodically, watching Morgana as she interacted with the students.  Merlin knew his students were in good hands, and he appreciated their patience in giving him extra time to do this.    
  
Near the end of the school day, Merlin tried one more book.  He skimmed through it until he found something that caught his eye.  It was a potion, not a spell.  It was said to return any memories lost, except for those whose mind had begun to deteriorate.  Merlin's heart leapt at this.  Arthur was no elderly man beginning to lose his memories, so the potion should be able to cure him.    
  
Merlin called Morgana over to share the good news.  But Morgana didn't react, she just asked to see the potion's ingredients.  They scanned the list, which included very common herbs that Merlin had access to.  However, the last ingredient gave him pause.  He didn't have direct access to a ghost orchid.  The rare flower grew in the region beyond Mercia which was at least a week's round trip.  Although he’d found the cure, Merlin would still have to wait a bit longer to get his Arthur back.  
  
Morgana patted his shoulder, promising to help him measure out the other ingredients tomorrow so they would be prepared.  Merlin knew that someone would have to make the trip, but he wasn’t sure he was the person to do it.  The warlock put it out of his mind for now, as it was time to return to Arthur.  

.~.

At dinner, Arthur boasted to Merlin about how well the knights’ training had gone.

“They did everything I ordered them to do, it was amazing!”  Arthur muttered in Merlin’s ear.  “They’re very well trained.  No brawls broke out, as would often happen when my father headed training.”

“Yes, you’ve trained that out of your men,” said Merlin.  “You have a very strict code of conduct.”

“How did I manage that?” Arthur looked intrigued.

“You always start off training season with cooperative exercises,” said Merlin.  “Once the knights have learned to work as a team, Arthur moved on to competitive exercises.”

“Whatever he did, it worked,” said Arthur.  “I would definitely be fine riding into battle with those men at my side.”

“Arthur does everything he can to avoid a war, but that’s good to hear,” said Merlin.  “I can’t believe I’m complimenting you twice in one day, but I really am proud of you.  You convinced everyone - including me - that you were King Arthur.”

“Thanks, Merlin.  That means a lot, coming from you.   In another life, I think we could’ve been good friends.”  Arthur stretched before he ate his last bite of food.  “I think I’ll have a hot bath and turn in early.  I’m sore in places I didn’t even know I had.”   He gave Merlin a slow smile and a little wave before he left the throne room.

Merlin waved back, heaving a little sigh as he watched Arthur walk away.

“I saw that.”  Gwen leaned over to Merlin, taking care to keep her voice down.  She gave him a shrewd look.

“What?” Merlin tried to look innocent.  He shouldn’t have bothered, as nothing got past Gwen.

“He’s starting to like you,” said the queen. 

“No, he’s not,” Merlin insisted.   

“I know that look, Merlin,” Gwen said.  “It was once directed at me for about a week, before Arthur figured out that it was you he really wanted.”

 “Gwen, please,” Merlin tried.  “I gave him a few compliments about how he handled himself today.  Of course he liked that.”

“Just be careful, Merlin,” Gwen warned him.  “I know he looks and sounds like Arthur, but he’s still fourteen.  He’s not our Arthur.  Don’t forget that.”

“Trust me, there’s no chance of that,” said Merlin.   “I’ve actually made some progress on the Arthur problem.”

He informed Gwen about the memory potion, which seemed to put her at ease.  

“I’m sorry it’s not a quick fix,” said Gwen, squeezing Merlin’s hand.  “But at least it’s a start.”

“Yeah.  I was disappointed.  I really miss him, Gwen.”  Merlin’s expression was earnest, with a hint of sadness carefully hidden. 

Gwen’s expression softened.  “Of course you do.  He’s your other half.”

Merlin nodded.  “Well, I’d better get back to Arthur.  Wouldn’t want him to accidentally fall on his sword or something.”

“I’m glad we’ll get Arthur back soon.  You can wait another week or so, Merlin,” said Gwen.  “You two have had it worse before.”

“You’re right,” Merlin realized, his melancholy mood evaporating.   “I will get him back relatively soon.”  He gently kissed Gwen’s cheek before announcing that he was retiring for the night. 

Merlin slowly walked back to the king’s chambers, humming softly to himself.   Everything was finally going smoothly.  He had a solid plan to get his Arthur back and the teenage Arthur was finally behaving.  Rather, more than behaving.   Merlin was relieved he wouldn’t have to worry any longer about this Arthur. 

Merlin entered the king’s chambers to the welcome sight of a half-naked Arthur standing in the middle of the room.  Arthur wore his brown trousers, but he hadn’t pulled on a shirt, exposing his toned chest for Merlin to see.  However, instead of the expected a warm greeting, Arthur met Merlin’s eyes with a cold glare.  In Arthur’s right hand was a crumpled piece of parchment.

 _Oh shit_ , Merlin thought.  His heart sank as he watched the young Arthur produce a very incriminating love note that King Arthur had written him a few weeks ago.

“Merlin, what the _hell_ is this?" Arthur fumed.

"It's a joke between us," Merlin halfheartedly tried, knowing Arthur was too smart to fall for it.

"A joke.  Right,” Arthur snorted.  “There are at least thirty of these.  Half of them are in my handwriting.”

Merlin desperately thought of a way to explain this without ruining their tentative friendship.  “Arthur, you don’t understand, when you’re older-”

Arthur cut him off, his voice taking on an odd quality. _“Dear Merlin, I’ve wanted your cock all day.  After last night when you took me I could barely walk and I-”_  
  
“Arthur, that’s private!” Merlin snapped, magicking the note to him.  “You weren’t supposed to see those.”

"This confirms that you and King Arthur shared a bed," Arthur said in disbelief.   “I can’t believe it.  Yet the evidence is clear.”  Then he narrowed his eyes.  “This isn’t the first sign.  Your neckerchief was in my drawer of mementos!  And your obsession with my sex life.  You were jealous!  Gods, I am so _stupid_!”

Merlin winced as Arthur angrily tore the note to bits.  They rained down and settled on the floor before Arthur kicked them away.  
  
"Yes, we shared a bed!" Merlin cried, not wanting to deny it.  "But what we have is much more than just the physical.  We're lovers.  We're faithful to each other and-"  
  
"Shut up," Arthur cried, his eyes full of fear.  His face was as red as Merlin had ever seen it.  "I would never let any man take me, especially not _you_.  That's disgusting!  There's only one explanation for this - you enchanted me.  You used your magic to hold me down, just like Lord Astley’s father did!"  
  
"No, I would never!" Merlin insisted, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes.  "Arthur, I swear, you gave yourself to me freely."  
  
"That's impossible," Arthur said with a sneer.  "I don't like men like that.  Get. Out."  He pointed at the door, but Merlin couldn’t just leave Arthur in this state, confused and alone.    
  
"Arthur, please, listen to me!” Merlin exclaimed. “At fourteen you don’t understand how your older self would feel."  He reached out to touch Arthur’s shoulder but Arthur only flinched and moved away.    
  
"Get out!" Arthur snarled, shaking with fury as he glared at Merlin.  "Don't bother coming back to sleep here tonight.  I won't sleep in the same room as you.  In fact, I don’t _ever_ want to see you again!"  
  
Merlin didn't need to be told twice.  Devastated by Arthur’s reaction, he ran out of the room, tears blurring his vision.   Merlin couldn’t believe he’d been so careless!  He’d gone to great lengths to make sure Arthur wouldn’t discover his illicit relationship with the king, but apparently he hadn’t done enough.  Merlin wasn’t sure if Arthur would ever forgive him.   And if for some reason the potion didn’t work and this Arthur was here to stay, Merlin might just have caused irreparable damage between them.   

.~.

End Chapter 8

A/N:  Of course Arthur’s sneaky way of dealing with determining who the baby belongs to is a famous story attributed to King Solomon from the Bible.  I love that story, so I decided to put it in.   

Poor Merlin.  Young Arthur doesn’t understand how a relationship could’ve developed between them, and he didn’t let Merlin explain.  Oh boys.  *shakes head*  What did you guys think of this chapter?


	9. Complications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur gives Merlin the cold shoulder.

Disclaimer: Merlin is not mine.

A/N: Thanks for the comments and kudos.

.~.

Chapter Nine: Complications

.~.

Merlin rushed out of the bedroom in a daze.  On his way out, he ran into Gwen and Lancelot, who were getting ready for bed.  Merlin couldn’t stop the tears from leaking out of the corners of his eyes as he struggled to breathe. 

The unthinkable had happened – Arthur had thrown him out after learning that Merlin and King Arthur had been involved.  Not only that, but Arthur had accused Merlin of enchanting him.  It was too much for him to bear.  Thank goodness his friends were there.

“Merlin, what happened?” Lance asked, rushing to catch the warlock before he fell to the floor.  “You look awful.”

Gwen took one look at Merlin’s face and knew.  Her hand flew to her mouth in surprise.  "Oh dear, Arthur must've found out about the two of you."

Merlin nodded miserably, silently thanking Gwen for her perceptiveness.  

She pulled him into a hug, but Merlin couldn’t let the sobs come just yet.  The wound was much too fresh.

A tinkling of glass sounded from the other room.

“Shit,” Lance muttered.   “I’d better see to Arthur.”  The knight entered Arthur’s room in hopes of consoling him.  He lasted about ten seconds inside before Arthur threw him out.  “I need Leon,” Lance decided.  “I think he’s the only one Arthur will listen to.  Gwen, get Merlin far away from here.”

Gwen nodded.  Then she tugged on the warlock’s arm.  “Come on, Merlin.  Let’s go find Leon.”

Merlin allowed himself to be manhandled by Gwen, although he was reluctant to leave Arthur unguarded.  They headed straight for Morgana and Leon’s room.  The bedroom door opened to reveal Morgana in her nightgown, but Leon was thankfully still fully dressed.

“I Saw what happened,” said Morgana.   She gestured to her husband.  “Go help calm Arthur down.”

Without a word, Leon rushed out of the room.

“Merlin, I’m so sorry,” Morgana said quietly.  “You can sleep here tonight, with me.  Come, have a seat.”

Merlin did before finally let the sobs out, clinging to Morgana as Gwen soothingly rubbed his back.

“How did it happen?” Gwen asked.

Merlin sniffled and rubbed his eyes.  "I was careless; he found a stack of our letters that my Arthur saved in the bottom drawer in the wardrobe.  I know now I should've burned them, but I didn’t want to lose that record of our relationship, especially since my Arthur is gone."  
  
Gwen nodded understandingly.  “What else happened?”  
  
"He said we were disgusting," Merlin choked out.  "Arthur said that I must've enchanted him, that he'd never love me like that."  His bottom lip trembled as he remembered Arthur’s cruel words.  
  
"He doesn't understand, Merlin,” Morgana pointed out.  “He’s only fourteen, nothing like our Arthur.  This Arthur doesn’t seem to be open to being involved with men at this age.  That’s not his fault.  It’s possible Arthur didn’t come to that realization until he was much older.”

Merlin nodded miserably.  “Things were finally going well between us, and I inadvertently screwed things up.”

“You didn’t mean to,” Gwen interjected.  “Remember when you were his age?  Did you have the first clue about relationships?”

“I knew that I wanted one,” said Merlin.  “If someone had told me when I was fourteen that I would have a loving relationship when I was thirty, I would’ve been ecstatic.”

“With a man?”

“Maybe not,” Merlin realized.  “But I would’ve eventually accepted it.”

“Perhaps Arthur will too, with time,” said Morgana. 

“I supposed it doesn’t matter if he accepts it,” said Merlin.  “I just want my Arthur back.  I miss him so much!”  Merlin’s sobs started again.

“I know,” said Gwen.  “Have faith that this will turn out right.”

“What if I don’t get my Arthur back and I’m stuck with this one?” Merlin cried. 

“That’s not going to happen,” Morgana soothed.  “I’m working out a plan.  I’ll tell you about it in the morning.  Right now, you need to get some sleep.”

“I don’t think I could fall asleep,” said Merlin.   “But I want to.  I don’t want to think about this anymore.  It hurts too much.”

Morgana whispered a sleeping spell, allowing the warlock to easily drift off.   The last thing Merlin remembered was Arthur’s disgusted expression when he confronted Merlin about their relationship.

.~.

_The next morning_

Merlin awoke, feeling quite rested.  He stretched and got out of bed, finding himself in unfamiliar surroundings.  He wondered why he’d spent the night in Morgana’s bed.  Then the memories came flooding back.   Arthur hated him.

Morgana was waiting for him to wake up.  “I’m sorry, Merlin.  I wish you didn’t have to go through this.”  She pulled him in for a hug.

“Can you tell him something for me?” Merlin asked, his voice muffled by Morgana’s shoulder.

“Yes,” said Morgana.  She released Merlin so she could understand his words.  “What do you have in mind?”

“Tell him to actually read the letters,” said Merlin.  “I want him to understand that we were in a serious relationship, with love, trust, and commitment.”

“Not sure that’s going to endear you to a fourteen year-old boy, but I’ll tell him,” Morgana promised.

“It’s better than him thinking he grows up to be my enchanted whore,” Merlin countered.  “God, why did he have to be so nosy?  We hardly ever write explicit notes.  That was bad luck.”

“I can’t believe you kept those notes,” said Morgana, disapprovingly clucking her tongue.  “It’s your own fault.”

“I know,” Merlin groaned.  “I don’t know what to do, Morgana.”

“Let’s put your problem with Arthur aside,” said the sorceress.  “Merlin, we need to harvest the ghost orchid to make the potion that will turn Arthur back to normal."  
  
"Yes, we do," Merlin sighed.  "But I don't want to leave Arthur unprotected."  
  
"I think I have a solution.  I want to take our five most advanced students on a quest to find the flower," Morgana boldly declared.  "They can learn all sorts of things out in nature that they can't inside the school."  
  
"What about the rest of the students?" Merlin asked.  
  
"They can have a holiday," said Morgana.  "They deserve it, they've been working so hard."  
  
"That could work," Merlin said, nodding.  "Although it should really be me going."  
  
"Even you can't be in two places at once," Morgana countered.  "Trust me, I can handle it."  
  
"It's not that," said Merlin.  "I just think that I should be the one responsible to save Arthur's memories.  He is my partner after all."  
  
"Yes, but this is what’s best for everyone.  We'll be back before you know it," Morgana insisted.  "It should take a week, tops."  
  
"Alright," Merlin allowed.  "Just don't do anything stupid."  
  
"I could say the same about you," said Morgana, giving Merlin a shrewd look.  "I know you want Arthur to forgive you, but you can't force the issue.  Wait until he comes to talk to you on his own."  
  
"That's the last thing I want," Merlin groaned.  "But your advice is sound."  
  
Morgana nodded, pleased.  "Take care of Arthur while I'm gone.”

“I’ll guard him with my life, as always.” 

“I know you will.”  Morgana smiled, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.  “Don't worry, Merlin.  In a week, all of this will be but a memory."  She patted his shoulder before setting off, presumably for the school to tell their students the good news.

Merlin wished that he would be the one to find the flower, but he knew he was needed in Camelot.  He had to trust that Morgana and his students would get the job done.  The warlock would be counting the days until they returned.  
  
.~.  
  
Over the next couple of days, Arthur didn't acknowledge or speak to Merlin unless it was absolutely necessary.  Merlin stuck close by, in case of a threat, but their easy banter disappeared.  When Arthur did have to speak with Merlin, cold fury seemed to accompany even the shortest of replies.  Merlin knew there was nothing he could do to fix it.  Morgana was right - he'd have to wait for Arthur to come to him.  
  
Four days later, Arthur caved.  He pulled Merlin aside after their morning council meeting.  Quite literally, grabbing Merlin by the collar and dragging him into an empty spare room.  "We need to talk," Arthur hissed.  "You have a lot to explain to me, Merlin."  
  
"I know," Merlin sighed.  “But before we begin, did you read any of our other letters?  Those can explain my relationship with Arthur better than anything I could tell you.”

“I read a few after Gwen kept nagging me about it,” Arthur complained. 

“Yeah, she’s good at that,” said Merlin.   He and Arthur shared an awkward chuckle at that.

Then Arthur looked away, his face burning.  “This is so humiliating.”

Merlin understood why Arthur was embarrassed.  He tried to put himself in Arthur’s shoes and realized that he too would be uncomfortable with the situation.  Merlin tried not to let Arthur’s scathing tone bother him, but it was difficult.  All he wanted in this moment was for his Arthur to return so he wouldn’t have to deal with this clusterfuck.

“Alright,” said Merlin.  He took a step closer to Arthur, but the faux king only took a step back and crossed his arms.  “First I want to remind you that King Arthur and I are in a committed relationship.  We love each other and are faithful, even if we have to keep our relationship a secret.  That’s one of the reasons that Gwen married Arthur, so he could keep up the farce that he loved a woman.  That, and Camelot needed a queen.  We knew Gwen would secretly have Lancelot, so everyone was happy with the arrangement.  Does that make sense?"

Arthur nodded.

“I imagine you have questions for me,” said Merlin.  “Please, ask away.”

Arthur pursed his lips.  "The first letter I read said you took me, that I acted like the woman.  I let you... do that to me?"  He blushed. 

“Yes,” said Merlin.  “There are times that you’re overwhelmed by all the stress of running the kingdom that you ask me to take charge in bed.  Those times are rare, but they do happen.”

"But I would never!” Arthur protested, waving his arms around, matching his angry yet haunted expression.  “My father said that if I tried anything with a man, my dick would fall off."  
  
Merlin shot him a knowing look.  "You actually believe that?"  
  
Arthur winced.  "Now that I say it out loud, it sounds dumb."

Merlin agreed.  “I never force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I can’t believe I let you hold me down with magic in bed,” Arthur shuddered.  “Especially given my terrifying past with Lord Astley’s father.”

“You do,” Merlin confirmed.  “You know, I never knew about that, how he abused you with magic.  Arthur never told me.”

"I don't blame him," said Arthur.  "I can't imagine he'd ever want to look weak, even in front of you."

"Perhaps," said Merlin, although this knowledge still stung.  Arthur could tell Merlin anything and vice versa.  That was one of the many components that made their relationship so strong.

Arthur nervously chewed on his lower lip.  “I must really trust you to let you use magic on me in bed."

Merlin nodded.  “It took a while, after years of friendship and two years being officially bonded, but you asked this of me.”  Then Merlin looked as serious as Arthur had ever seen him.  “I need you to keep this a secret, Arthur.  You can’t tell anyone besides Gwen, Lance, Morgana, Leon, and Gwaine that you know the truth about my relationship with King Arthur."

Arthur’s eyes widened.  “You told all of them?”

“Yes.  We trust them.”

“Fine,” said Arthur, waving him off.  “This is a lot to take in, you know.”

Merlin’s expression softened.  “I know.  But I’m certain you can handle it.”

“So, you and me, huh?” Arthur grew contemplative.  “Who initiated that?”

“We both confessed our feelings at the same time,” said Merlin.  “It was quite funny, although I wish we hadn’t wasted several years of not owning up to our feelings.”

Arthur contemplated this for a moment, before saying something that shocked Merlin.  “I’m sorry I can’t be him for you,” said Arthur, his eyes full of regret.  “I’m just one more disappointment.”

“No, Arthur.”  Merlin pulled him in for a hug.  “You’re not.  I’m glad I get to know you.”

“But you originally said you didn’t think we’d get along,” Arthur reminded him.

Merlin smiled.  “Sometimes I can be wrong.”

Arthur gave him a tentative smile.  “How did I develop a proclivity towards males?”

“Apparently you’ve always had it, you just chose not to act on it.   Is this true?”

Arthur blushed, revealing much to Merlin.  “But it’s wrong.”

Merlin shook his head.  “Not for us.  Arthur and I have fully embraced our natures.  I hope that you can do the same.”

Arthur frowned.  “I don’t know.  It’s easier to go for girls.”

“Perhaps it is right now,” said Merlin.   “But you have to be true to your heart and what you really feel.”

“Maybe,” said Arthur.  He didn’t sound convinced.   “Are you truly proud of the other Arthur, or does he ever disappoint you too?”

Merlin shook his head.  _“_ In terms of the law against magic _, you_ were the one to enact change and repeal it so our subjects didn’t have to live in fear any longer.  I would’ve been proud of you if you’d just done that.  But you’re performing above and beyond my original expectations.  You’re working to unite the five kingdoms.”

Arthur frowned.  “By warring with them?  That doesn’t sound like that King Arthur you’ve been telling me about.”

“No, by using diplomacy,” Merlin explained.  “Arthur didn’t want to go to war unless it was absolutely necessary.  Thus, he’s trying a peaceful solution.”

Arthur just gaped at him.  “But I _want_ to go to battle.  I didn’t train for hours a day with a sword not to use my skills.  I have to prove myself as a worthy leader.”

Merlin shuddered.  “You have learned to avoid the terrible consequences of wars at all costs.”

“Huh,” said Arthur.  “I suppose you’re right, but that’s the way Camelot has always done things, if we want to add more land to our kingdom.”

“You didn’t want to follow in the footsteps of your father,” Merlin explained.  “Don’t worry, you have plenty of chances to kill things.  And people.  You attract quite a bit of trouble that you have to defend yourself.”

“Good,” said Arthur.  Then he realized what Merlin had said.  “I do not attract trouble!”

Merlin shook his head.  If only Arthur knew.  “War is hell, Arthur.  Every time you returned from a battle, you had me hold you through the night.”

“You’re joking.”  Arthur stared at Merlin in horror.  “I would _never_.”

Merlin shrugged.  “It’s the truth.  You let your walls come down around me and I’m so grateful that you do.  It’s a healthy release, one that not enough men get.”

“I must really trust you, more than I’ve trusted anyone.”

Merlin nodded.  “And I trust you with my life.”

“What about now?” Arthur asked.

“As much as I can,” said Merlin said truthfully.  “You’re a good person at heart, you just hide behind a front.  I don’t really blame you, knowing who your father was.”

“Was I afraid of your magic?” Arthur pressed, holding out his hand to demonstrate his point.

“A bit at first,” Merlin admitted.  “But you soon came to enjoy it.”

“Really?”

“Yes.  The real reason why you changed the law against magic was because you loved me,” Merlin whispered.  “You wanted me to have a normal life, not to have to live in fear.   You wanted the same for Morgana, but it was mostly for me.”

“And then I made you Court Sorcerer.”

“Yes,” said Merlin.  “With Morgana as my official apprentice, so I wouldn’t have absolute power over the magical community.”

 “How long have I shared your bed?”

“Five years,” said Merlin.  “But we’ve loved each lover longer than that.”

“And I’m faithful to you?”

Merlin smiled.  “Yes.  And I to you.”

“I could never see me tying myself to one person, unless it was a political alliance that my father set up.  And even then, I’d have affairs.”

“You changed after you met me,” Merlin said simply. 

“You must be amazing in bed for that to happen,” Arthur leered at Merlin.  Then he realized what he’d just done.  Arthur’s face resembled a ripe tomato.  “Can we forget I just said that?”

Merlin hid a smile.  “In answer to your assumption, I certainly haven’t had any complaints.  We are very satisfied with our intimacy.”

Arthur shook his head.  “Buggery and magic.  What a strange world.”  He caught Merlin’s eye and they shared a good laugh at that.

Merlin knew from that moment on that Arthur had forgiven him.   Now, if Morgana could just hurry up with that flower, he could get his Arthur back _.   Just a few more days_ , he thought.   Then Merlin realized he’d have difficulty saying goodbye to this Arthur, another complication to this disastrous situation.  Would he be effectively killing this Arthur by changing him back?  Was it the ethical thing to do?

Merlin tried not to think about it too much, but he dwelled on this thought for the rest of the day.

.~.

End chapter 9

A/N:  Thanks for the comments and kudos!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Two Sides Of The Same Coin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Arthur picnic in the forest. *things* happen.

Disclaimer: Merlin is not mine.

A/N:  Thanks for your comments – I really appreciate them.  I am humbled by all the kudos.  It’s been a fun story to write.

.~.

Chapter 10: Two Sides Of The Same Coin

.~.

_"Merlin.  Merlin!  Help me," Arthur called._

_Merlin hurried down the dimly lit corridor, torches on the wall flaring as he ran past them.  At the end of the corridor, he found Arthur, locked in a tiny prison cell.  Try as he might, Merlin couldn’t use his magic to free Arthur.  Then he realized that it was a metaphorical prison, that Arthur was still stuck somewhere inside the teenaged Arthur’s mind._

_“Merlin, you’ve got to get me out of here,” Arthur pleaded as Merlin entwined their fingers through the iron cell bars.  “It’s so lonely without you.  Every day I’m here I feel a little weaker.  I’m afraid if I stay here much longer, I’ll fade away.”_  
  
"Love, I'm trying.”  Merlin’s eyes filled with tears, wishing he could kiss Arthur but the cell bars prevented it.  “Morgana and my students are searching for the last ingredient in a potion that will bring you back to us."  
  
“Do you like him?  The other Arthur?"  The king questioned.    
  
"He's a version of you, of course I like him," Merlin admitted.  “Although it was hard at first.  He was even more of a prat than you were when I first met you.”  
  
"He likes you," Arthur said softly, the longing evident in his voice.  “I can tell.”  
  
Merlin shook his head.  "No, I don't think he does.  He puts up with me."

_Arthur frowned.  "Are you sure you want me back when you could have him instead?”_

_“Of course I do!”  Merlin exclaimed.  “Arthur, you are my life.”_

_Arthur swallowed hard.  "Be careful, Merlin.  He can manipulate people very well.  Please don’t pick him over me."_ __  
  
"I would never..." But Merlin didn't get to finish his sentence, as Arthur had disappeared.

 _.~._  
  
Merlin awoke with a start, chest heaving as he grasped in vain for a person who wasn't there.  He took in the familiar surroundings of his chambers and sadness flooded his chest.  He hadn’t wanted to come back to reality, he wanted to stay in the dream realm with his Arthur. 

"Are you alright?" Teenaged Arthur asked, his expression one of concern.  He was already dressed and ready to meet the demands of the day, a far cry from the lazy youth he’d been a few weeks ago.  At the moment he looked like King Arthur, as he was still affected by Merlin’s aging spell.  
  
Merlin nodded, still recovering from his dream.  “That one was particularly rough to wake up from.”    
  
"Did you dream about him?" Arthur asked.  
  
"Yeah," Merlin admitted.  "He was trapped in a prison and I couldn’t save him.  I didn't want to leave my partner.  It was like a part of me was ripped from my chest.  But I doubt you want to hear about that."  
  
"It doesn't bother me anymore," Arthur said firmly.  
  
"Really?" Merlin looked surprised.  “You said that our relationship disgusted you just a few days ago.”  
  
"I was wrong."  Arthur sighed.  "I owe you an apology.”

Merlin was still reeling from Arthur’s declaration.  An apology from Arthur was almost unheard of, even from his Arthur.  “What prompted this?”    

“I did what you asked and I read a few of your letters to King Arthur and his to you.  It's clear to me that you had a real relationship, that you didn't force him into anything.”  Arthur’s contemplative look reminded Merlin of his Arthur when he was trying to make an important decision.  “You really love him, huh?"  
  
"Very much."  Merlin looked away, not wanting Arthur to see the tears in his eyes.    
  
"Hmm.  What did Arthur do when you were feeling down?  Besides taking you to bed, that is." Arthur smirked at Merlin, which again surprised the warlock, who couldn’t suppress a blush.  Arthur had really changed his tune concerning their relationship.  It was a welcome one.  
  
"We'd go on a picnic," Merlin recalled.  "But we haven’t done that lately.  Duty often gets in the way.  We're both very busy, as you can imagine.”    
  
"Very well.  We'll go on a picnic," Arthur decided.  "Guard!"

The guard outside their door immediately entered the room.  “Yes, Sire?”  
  
"Wait.  Arthur, you're the acting king," Merlin hissed.  "You can't just shirk your responsibilities to cheer me up."  
  
“I'd only miss a garland competition and training.  My knights were complaining last week how the magic users had a week off from school because _Mer_ lin was nicer than me.  I'd like to remedy that."

Merlin smiled at Arthur.  “Well, if you put it that way.  That’s very thoughtful that you’d take half the day off to spend it with me.”

With Merlin’s approval given, Arthur instructed the guard to cancel training and to postpone the garland competition.  After the guard left to do Arthur’s bidding, Arthur gave Merlin a hand up, pulling him from the bed. 

“Get dressed, idiot.  We don’t have all day,” said Arthur.

“I don’t have to follow orders if they’re coming from a prat,” Merlin fired back.  But he knew Arthur’s advice was sound, so he did as he was told.

The warlock had appreciated the return of his usual snarky banter with Arthur over the past three days.  It really helped that Arthur had accepted the fact that King Arthur and Merlin had been in a relationship.  It dispelled any lingering awkwardness between them.  But while Merlin enjoyed the easy camaraderie with teenaged Arthur, he was still counting down the days until Morgana and their students returned with the flower.  As soon as they did, Merlin could make the potion that would permanently restore Arthur’s memories.

Due to this impending event, Arthur had been somewhat short-tempered.  Merlin had caught him staring out the window, a morose expression affixed to his gorgeous features.   When Merlin would ask him about it, Arthur would just change the subject. 

Merlin himself was also having reservations.  While he’d get his Arthur back, teenaged Arthur would disappear, never to return.  Even if Arthur retained the memories from the past few weeks, it wouldn’t be the same.   It was almost like sacrificing one person in order to save someone else.  Even though the someone else was the love of Merlin’s life, how could he justify essentially killing teenaged Arthur, especially since Merlin had begun to care for him?

“Come on, _Mer_ lin,” Arthur called.  “Race you to the stables.”  Arthur rushed out the door, leaving Merlin to chase after him.

.~.

They found the stable hands tacking up their horses.  Without being prompted, Arthur jumped in and helped ready the horses.  Warmth filled Merlin’s chest as he watched Arthur joke with the stable hands.  Just two weeks ago, teenaged Arthur would’ve snubbed anyone below his station.  Now, thanks to Merlin’s influence, he was more considerate.   

Merlin was pleased that he’d positively influenced Arthur’s life yet again.  He wondered what would’ve happened if he’d met Arthur at fourteen, if Arthur would’ve changed and listened to him.  Of course, the point was moot.  And even if he’d met Arthur then, Uther had still ruled.  It was unlikely that Merlin could’ve affected Arthur at all with his father in power.  

In no time, their horses were loaded with the supplies for a picnic.  Arthur swung up onto his horse, prompting Merlin to do the same.   Merlin enjoyed riding more than he’d admit.  Even though he’d end up with a sore bottom after a long trip, he enjoyed being at one with the horse, his magic strengthening the connection with the animal.  He was looking forward to the ride as much as the picnic.

“Idiots first,” said Arthur, making a sweeping gesture with his hands.  He gave Merlin a teasing smirk.  It was at moments like this that Merlin remembered that although he’d aged Arthur to look thirty, he was still a boy.

Merlin rolled his eyes, but he did ask Arthur asked.  The warlock led his horse out of the courtyard, with Arthur trailing behind him.  They quickly left Camelot behind, swallowed up by the forest.  The dirt trail was wide enough for them to ride side by side.  Merlin could stay among the trees forever, as he connected to the Earth with his magic.  It wasn’t as powerful as when he came together with his Arthur, but it was close.

“Where are we going?” Merlin asked as they cantered down the road.

“Not too far,” Arthur promised.  “It’s a place that I used to go on picnics with my father when I was young.  Has your Arthur taken you there?”

“Not sure.  We’ll find out.”

They rode for about twenty minutes more before they came to a clearing in the middle of the forest.  The massive grassy field was guarded by trees along the perimeter.  It was the perfect spot for a picnic.

“No, Arthur’s never taken me here,” said Merlin.  “It’s beautiful.”

“Good, you can make a new memory of just us,” said Arthur with a smile.

After securely tying the horses to trees, Arthur and Merlin removed their supplies and placed them on the ground.   They settled down on a large crimson comforter, featuring the golden Pendragon crest.  Merlin thought this was a fine way to dirty a good blanket, but then remembered he could easily clean it with magic.  Even though the law had been repealed for five years, Merlin sometimes forgot that he was free to use his gift.

Arthur wasted no time before laying down on his back, gazing up at the puffy white clouds that dotted the clear azure sky.  Merlin lay right beside him, enjoying the warm rays of the sun beating down upon him.  He could almost forget his responsibilities in such a place.  However, he couldn’t put their unfortunate situation out of his mind.  He would be essentially killing this Arthur when Morgana returned and there was no way around that.  Arthur interrupted Merlin’s dark train of thought.

“Did you and your Arthur ever look up at the clouds and say what you thought they looked like?”

Merlin shook his head.  “I’m sure he thought that would be too childish.”

“What a stiff,” said Arthur, shaking his head.  “Shall we try?” Arthur gave him a hopeful look.

Merlin smiled, happy to indulge him.  “Sure.  What do you think that one looks like?”  He pointed at a thin elongated cloud.

“It looks like an arrow,” Arthur decided.  “See the point at the end?”

“That’s not an arrow!  It’s a magical staff,” said Merlin.  “It looks like it has a jewel at the top.”

“No way,” said Arthur, shaking his head.  “How about that one?”  He pointed at a large cloud.  “I think it resembles a bear.”

“That one looks like a dragon.”  Merlin’s eyes flashed and then it was so.   The cloud-dragon even flapped its wings and breathed a bit of cloudy fire. 

“You cheated!” Arthur pouted.  “No fair using magic, Merlin.”

“Alright, no more magic,” Merlin relented.   “I just wanted to show off for you.”

Arthur nodded at him.  “I think your magic is brilliant, you know.”

“Really?” Merlin beamed.

“Yeah.”  Arthur gave Merlin a shy smile.  Then he turned his attention back to the sky.  “How about this cloud?” 

Merlin considered the cloud that Arthur had indicated.  “I think it looks like a head with a crown on top.”

“I agree about the head,” said Arthur.  “But I don’t see the crown. I think it looks like your head, Merlin.  See the ears sticking out on this sides?”

“Hey!”  Merlin cried.  “I’ll have you know that Arthur loves my ears.”

“He has to say that; he’s your lover.”

“Perhaps, but every person has flaws,” said Merlin.  “Take your bumpy nose, for example.”

“My nose it _not_ bumpy!”  Arthur grabbed Merlin by the shoulders.  “Take it back.” 

“Never!” Merlin grinned at him, his eyes issuing an unspoken challenge.  

Arthur attacked and they tussled on the comforter, somehow kicking up dirt particles that rained down upon them.  They rolled around, each trying to get the upper hand.  Arthur ended up on top of Merlin, as the warlock had made good on his promise not to use magic.  Merlin should be annoyed that a fourteen year-old had outwrestled him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.   

“Do you yield?” Arthur asked, a little out of breath.

“For now, my lord,” said Merlin, playing along.  “Let me up.”

“No, I don’t think so,” said a smug Arthur.  “You’ll just have to stay there until you apologize for your insulting remark.”

Merlin responded by tickling Arthur’s left underarm, causing the boy to uncharacteristically squeal. 

“Alright, alright, stop!” Arthur cried, finally moving away and letting Merlin up.  “How’d you know I was ticklish there?”

Merlin gave him a mischievous grin.

“Oh, right,” Arthur groaned.  “I guess you know everything about my body, huh?”

“I know every scar, every blemish, and freckle,” said Merlin, unable to keep the wistfulness from his voice. 

“Really?” Arthur looked intrigued.  He removed his shirt, which was drenched with sweat.  

Merlin tried not to stare at Arthur’s sculpted chest, but it was hard.

“How’d I get this one?”  Arthur pointed to a nick on his left upper pectoral. 

“Training accident,” Merlin recalled.  “You were sparring with Leon and he landed a blow.  He felt so bad afterward.”

“And this one?” Arthur indicated a small scar on his lower back.

“Your father gave you a belting for disrespecting him in front of the entire court.  It never healed properly.”

“That day was the worst,” Arthur recalled with a shudder.  “You really do know all about me.  Do I get many more?  Scars I mean.”

“Yes,” said Merlin.  “Even the best swordsman in the land still has injuries.”

They fell silent, staring up at the clouds as they leisurely floated by.  Merlin closed his eyes, so comfortable he could almost fall asleep.  But something still gnawed at him. 

“What are you thinking about?” Arthur asked, turning to look at the warlock. 

Merlin’s eyes flew open as he heaved a small sigh. “I’m thinking about what happens when Morgana returns with the flower.”

“Don’t think about it,” Arthur said tightly.  “That’s what I do.”

“I’m sorry it has to be this way,” said Merlin.  “I’ve become quite fond of you.”

“I’m fond of you too,” Arthur admitted.  “I wasn’t entirely truthful earlier.  I didn’t just read a few of your love letters – I read them all.”

Merlin blinked at him.  “Why?”

“I wanted to know how he felt.  Arthur, I mean.  What it felt like to be loved unconditionally, without reservation.”  Arthur reached into a leather pouch that he kept on his person.  He pulled out a folded piece of parchment and read it aloud.  

_Dear Merlin,_

_Every day I thank whatever Gods above brought us together.  I have never experienced the kind of love you give me.   Even when I screw up, you’re always there with a smile and a hug.  When you kiss me, it’s like nothing else matters – all my duties as king just melt away.  I’ve never felt anything like it.  All my bedpartners before I met you pale in comparison to the deep love that we share._

_I had no idea that such intimacy could be possible, the way it is between us.  I can completely let go in bed when I’m with you, something I never thought could happen with anyone.  I can let my walls down and instead of taking advantage of that, you kiss me softly and tell me I’m brilliant and that everything will be alright.  When you take me, Merlin, I have never known such pleasure.   It’s so intense I can only stand it a few times a year.  But when I ask for it, you always handle me with such care._

_Merlin Emrys, I will never love another.  You are my beloved and nothing will ever change that.  We truly are two sides of the same coin._

_All my love forevermore,_

_Arthur_

Merlin couldn’t hold back a tiny sob.  How he ached for Arthur’s return.  He half expected this Arthur to make fun of him for his reaction to the letter, but Arthur didn’t. 

Arthur looked at Merlin expectantly and gently grabbed his hand.   “What does it feel like?  You know, when he takes you.”  Arthur blushed but he steadily held Merlin’s gaze.

Merlin’s cheeks grew hot as well.  “Full.  Cherished.  Loved.  I have never known such pleasure, being joined with him.”

“I don’t understand,” said Arthur, frowning as he considered it.  “How could that be true?  It sounds like the worst possible degradation.  I know you two were in a relationship, but I can’t imagine letting anyone put their… you know… in my…”  Arthur’s blush deepened.

“I know you don’t understand,” Merlin sighed.  “I don’t think I can explain it to you.  I think, for Arthur, it was more of a trust exercise than it was about receiving pleasure.  It was the ultimate test to see how I would act when we finished, to see if I treated Arthur differently after such a reversal of power.”

“And did you treat him differently?”

“Yes,” said Merlin with a teasing grin.  “I fell even more in love with him after that.  The fact that he would place his trust in me in that way - it was very humbling.”

“Does it hurt?”  Arthur pressed.

“No.  It doesn’t hurt if you do it right, and we also have the advantage of my magic.”

“I see,” said Arthur, pursing his lips before forging ahead.  “Will you show me what it’s like?  To be unconditionally loved by you?”

The tension crackled between them as Arthur leaned closer and closer towards Merlin, his lips almost grazing the warlock’s.  As much as he didn’t want to, Merlin pulled away at the last second.    

“We should eat lunch,” Merlin squeaked. 

“Yes, let’s,” Arthur said hurriedly.  They moved away from each other, with Arthur heading for the picnic basket.

“I can get it with magic,” Merlin reminded him.

“No, let me,” said Arthur.  “Let me be your servant today.”

“Alright,” Merlin smiled.  “Thank you.”  He watched as Arthur arranged their place settings and unpacked the food and wine. 

Arthur poured them each a glass of wine.  “To us.”

“To us,” Merlin said softly as they clinked their gleaming silver goblets.  

They drank generously before filling their plates with meat, bread, cheese, and grapes.

Merlin didn’t bother with courtly manners, as it was just him and Arthur.  It was nice to eat without being scrutinized by others.  Sometimes being in the public eye was exhausting and Merlin savored any time he could get away.

“S’good,” said Arthur as he devoured his meal, leaving only the grapes on his plate.

“Are you going to eat those?” Merlin asked.   All of his grapes were long gone, and he was hoping Arthur would give him a few of his.

“I saved them for you.  Open up.”

Merlin obediently opened his mouth and Arthur gingerly placed a grape inside.   But instead of removing his finger, Arthur gently rubbed it against Merlin’s lips.  Without thinking, Merlin closed his mouth around the finger, gently sucking it.

Arthur moaned, startling Merlin, who immediately pulled away.

“Merlin, why’d you stop?” Arthur whined.   “Don’t you want this?”

“Arthur, we can’t,” Merlin said, his voice tinged with regret. 

“Why not?” Arthur challenged. 

“Why do _you_ want this?” Merlin asked.  “Just days ago, you thought my relationship with Arthur was disgusting.”

“As I said before, your letters changed my mind,” Arthur informed him.  “I want to know what it’s like to be loved unconditionally before I’m erased from this world.”

“I’d be cheating,” Merlin half-heartedly tried.  “I don’t want to cheat on my Arthur.”

“I’m still a version of Arthur.  It’s technically not cheating, Merlin.”

“You’re still a child, even if you look thirty,” Merlin argued.

“I’ve ruled for a week and no one has suspected that I’m not the real king,” Arthur reminded him.  “Even you have been impressed with the way I’ve been handling my duties.  I think that proves I’m not a child.”

Merlin sighed.   “You’re right.  You’ve matured so much in the past few weeks.  I’m so proud of you, Arthur.”

“Then don’t deny me this.   Please, Merlin.”

Indecision graced the warlock’s features before Arthur crashed his lips to Merlin’s.  Merlin groaned, melting into the kiss.  This man looked, smelled, and tasted just like his Arthur, and right now Merlin couldn’t tell the difference.   He surged up to meet Arthur, tangling his fingers in Arthur’s golden hair and pouring everything he had into the kiss.   How could he refuse to show this Arthur what it felt like to be loved unconditionally?  Didn’t he owe him that much?

They kissed, their mouths melded together as Merlin gained control.  He slowed down, lavishing slow and languid kisses on Arthur’s already swollen lips.  Arthur gave a breathy moan, surrendering completely to Merlin’s ministrations.   Their tongues touched and tangled, causing Merlin to pant as he desperately wished for more.   Arthur crawled on top of him, something Merlin encouraged, wanting to feel trapped and helpless under that beloved body.   Arthur would take care of him, as always.     

Arthur bucked up against Merlin and that was the warlock’s cue to stop this madness.  Merlin couldn’t allow this to go any further.  He rolled Arthur off him and tried to hide the evidence straining in his pants.  Merlin noticed that Arthur was in a similar state.

“We should be getting back.  It’s late,” said Merlin, his voice hoarse.

“Yeah,” said Arthur, but he sounded dejected.

“That wasn’t a rejection,” Merlin explained.  “I just can’t go any further.  I promised to show you what it was like to be loved, and I did that.  I can’t betray my Arthur.”

“I understand,” said Arthur, but Merlin could tell that he really didn’t.   Wordlessly, they cleaned up and readied the horses for the journey home.    

.~.

They returned to the castle, each lost in their own thoughts.  Arthur wanted more, Merlin believed he’d perhaps gone too far.   

The moment they entered the stables, a guard approached them.

"Lord Merlin, I have a message for you."  He bowed to both Merlin and Arthur.  
  
"Yes?”  Merlin swung down off his horse and turned to face the guard.  
  
"Lady Morgana returned an hour after you left.  She requests your presence in her chambers and said her quest was successful.  She said to tell you they found the flower."

“Thank goodness,” the warlock breathed, relief coursing through him.  
  
Merlin was so thrilled by the news, he didn't notice when Arthur's face turned white.

.~.

End Chapter Ten

A/N:  Comments and kudos are appreciated.  One more chapter to go, folks!  It’s been a great ride.


	11. Saying Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin must bid farewell to young Arthur if he wants to bring his king back.

Disclaimer: Merlin is not mine.

A/N:  Here’s the last one!  Thanks for all the encouragement along the way.    **Warning** : Underage in this one.  I do not, do not, do not support underage in RL. 

.~.

Chapter 11:  Saying Goodbye

.~.

Merlin couldn’t believe his good luck!  According to the guard, Morgana had returned early with the flower.  Now he could finally bring his Arthur back.   Then he remembered something and his elation melted away.

_Oh shit, Arthur._

Merlin turned to the fourteen year-old Arthur, finding him to be shaking uncontrollably, barely holding back a sob.  

Arthur’s face was devoid of all color, and he started to sway on his feet.

“Arthur, stay calm,” Merlin whispered, using his magic to steady Arthur.  

“Is he alright?” The guard asked Merlin, frowning at Arthur.

“Thank you, you may go,” Merlin sharply told the guard, who bowed and quickly left them alone in the foyer.  

“Arthur, I’m so sorry.”  Merlin allowed Arthur to relax into his embrace.   

"Merlin, don't make me drink that potion," Arthur pleaded as he continued to shudder in Merlin’s arms.   
  
"Arthur, you have to,” Merlin said softly.  “Camelot needs her king back.  You weren’t even supposed to exist.”

Arthur pulled away from Merlin as if scalded.  "You just want your Arthur back.  You’d sacrifice me to have him.”  
  
"Yes, I want Arthur back,” Merlin admitted, pleading with Arthur to understand.  “He’s my partner.  Can you blame me?"   
  
"I could grow into him," Arthur tried.  "Don't you like me?"  
  
Merlin sighed, remembering his Arthur’s warning about the teenage Arthur being manipulative.  “Of course I like you.  But Arthur has already lived his teenage years.  It wouldn't be fair to my Arthur if you stayed."  
  
"But I'll cease to exist!" Arthur cried.  
  
"Not exactly," said Merlin.  "Arthur will not die."  
  
"But _I_ will die."  Arthur locked eyes with Merlin, not flinching when he found the pity residing in them.

Merlin couldn’t refute him.  “Yes.  You will.”

“Isn’t there something you can do?”  Arthur begged.

Merlin shook his head.  “I’ve gone over and over this in my mind.  I’ve even asked Morgana and my students for help, but they couldn’t think of anything either.  I’m afraid there’s no possible way that I can keep you and bring my Arthur back.  I’m sorry.”

“That may be,” said Arthur, “but you just expect me to go quietly?” Arthur crossed his arms and glared at Merlin.  “I deserve to live just as much as he does.”

Merlin tried to think, tried to come up with some way that he could convince Arthur that he was in the right.  Then the warlock had an idea.  "Let me show you something, Arthur."  Eyes flashing gold, Merlin conjured memories of his life with King Arthur.  It was difficult for Merlin to pick just which memories to show, as he and Arthur had shared so many milestones.

Merlin began with his fateful first meeting with Arthur where he insulted the prince and got jailed for his efforts.  Then the memory changed and Arthur intentionally showed off for Merlin during the knights’ training.  Merlin drank poison for Arthur and in turn Arthur saved Merlin's life with his quest to find the Morteus flower.  Merlin saved Arthur from drowning by the Sidhe.  Merlin rode out to battle beside Arthur and secretly protected him with magic.  Merlin revealed his magic saving Uther’s life, landing him in the dungeons, and then Arthur helped Merlin escape the following day.  
  
Merlin and Arthur confessed their true feelings deep inside the forest on the outskirts of Camelot.  Merlin held Arthur as he sobbed at the foot of his late father’s bed.  Geoffrey of Monmouth crowned Arthur as Merlin stood at his side.  Arthur named Merlin the new Court Sorcerer in a grand ceremony after he repealed the law against magic.    
  
Merlin and Arthur were secretly handfasted by the Druids with Morgana, Gwen, and the knights as witnesses.  Merlin and Arthur spooned in bed, with Arthur's body wrapped protectively around Merlin's.  Merlin and Arthur shared a stolen kiss in the armory, their foreheads resting against each other as they whispered declarations of love.  
  
"That's enough!"  Arthur exclaimed, causing the light to vanish from Merlin’s eyes as the memories faded away.  Arthur bit his lip to keep from crying, a habit Merlin knew about all too well.  "I see now that I can't ask you to give him up."  
  
Merlin nodded.  "Thank you for not making this harder than it has to be.”  
  
"Just let me spend the rest of the day with you,” Arthur pleaded.  “I promise I will take the potion at midnight and that I will keep my word."  
  
“Very well,” said Merlin.  “You have until midnight tonight.  My Arthur cannot last much longer.”

“Fine.” 

“We need to go see Morgana about the potion,” Merlin reminded him.

“Fine.”  Arthur’s face grew stony, not wanting to betray his true feelings of despair.

Merlin’s expression turned weary.  “Arthur, don’t be like that.”

“It’s _fine_ , Merlin.”

"You aren't making this easy on me.”  Merlin placed his hands on his hips.  “Do you think I want to lose you?”

“You don’t?”  Arthur’s voice sounded hopeful.

“No,” Merlin said.

“Really?”  Arthur scoffed.  “I think you’ll forget about me as soon as your Arthur returns.”

“That’s not true,” Merlin objected.  “What we shared today in the forest, I’ll never forget it.”

“Me neither,” Arthur whispered.  “I’ve never felt anything like it.  Let me have that again, just once more.”

Merlin didn’t answer. 

“Very well, I’ll come with you to see Morgana,” said Arthur.  “There’s no point in delaying the inevitable.”

“Thank you,” said Merlin, knowing that Arthur was yet again manipulating him to get what he wanted.  The problem was, Merlin wasn’t sure if he could do it again.  In the heat of passion, Merlin had succumbed to Arthur’s advances.  Now that he had regained his head, Merlin didn’t know if that was the best course of action.

They ascended the stairs, Arthur leading the way down the maze of corridors toward Morgana’s bedroom.   Merlin knocked softly on Morgana’s door, which swung open to reveal his apprentice sitting on the floor next to a bubbling cauldron, an open spell book beside her.

“There you are!”  Morgana exclaimed, leaping to her feet and enthusiastically hugging Merlin.  “I got back an hour ago and decided to get a jump on the potion.  I followed the book’s instructions exactly.  It’s all ready to go – it only needs the flower.  I saved that for you to add.”

“Not just yet,” Merlin cautioned. 

“Why not?”  Morgana demanded.  “There’s no time to delay.  We have to bring Arthur back!”

Merlin gently turned her around so she faced teenage Arthur, who was looking down at the floor. 

“Oh,” Morgana said quietly.  “I forgot.”

“I told him he could have the rest of the day,” said Merlin.  “But at midnight, we’re bringing Arthur back.”

“Did you agree to this?” Morgana asked Arthur, who nodded.

“I gave my word I’ll take the potion at midnight.”

“Alright,” said Morgana, a slight frown forming on her otherwise perfect features.  “I wish it didn’t have to be this way, Arthur, but it can’t be helped.  My loyalty is to my brother.”

“I know,” Arthur said softly.  “It has been good to know you, Morgana, even if you are much older.”

“Only you can turn a goodbye into an insult,” said Morgana, cracking a smile.  “You may not believe it, but I’ll really miss you.” 

“Me too.”  Arthur allowed Morgana to embrace him.

Merlin watched as Morgana whispered something in Arthur’s ear. 

“I will,” said Arthur.   He shared a knowing look with Morgana.

Merlin broke the tension.  “I’ll uh, just transport this back to my room.”  Merlin waved his hand and the cauldron and the ghost orchid both vanished, presumably reappearing in his chamber.

“Well, we really should be going.  I want to make the most of this day,” said Arthur.  “Merlin, can you-”

Merlin’s eyes flashed before Arthur completed his sentence.

Morgana stared at the empty space where Arthur and Merlin were standing just one second ago, hoping that Arthur wouldn’t press his advantage too much, given Merlin’s emotional state.

.~.

“That was some powerful magic,” said Arthur, after he got his bearings.  They’d reappeared in the king’s chambers, much to Merlin’s relief.  He’d rather deal with Arthur behind closed doors, especially during the activities he knew Arthur had in mind.

“Yeah, well,” Merlin shrugged.  “It was nothing compared to what I can do on the battlefield.”

Arthur and Merlin awkwardly stared at each other, not sure how to proceed from here.

"What do you want, Arthur?”  Merlin asked softly.  “Tell me.”

“I want to do more of what we did in the forest.  Show me the love and care that you gave him.  Please, it’s my last day alive.”  Arthur locked eyes with Merlin, pleading for what was essentially his dying wish.

Merlin wanted that too, he really did.  But was it the ethical thing to do?  Would he regret it later?  Possibly.  But Merlin couldn’t shake the feeling that he needed, no, _wanted_ to do this, for Arthur.   He groaned aloud.  God knows how he’d explain all this to Arthur when he returned, but Merlin put that out of his mind.  Now he just wanted to fulfill this Arthur’s last wishes.

“We can do that,” Merlin relented. 

“Good.  On one condition,” said Arthur.

“What’s that?”

Arthur stared deep into Merlin’s eyes.  “You return me to my original age.”

“What?”  Merlin blanched, eyes widening as he realized the full implications of Arthur’s request.  “Arthur, why-”

“It’s not fair,” Arthur raged.  “When you’re kissing me, it’s him you see.  I want you to love _me_ , as I truly am.”

“But I don’t want to be intimate with a child,” Merlin protested.  “I’d feel like I’m taking advantage of you.”

“Remember, I’m essentially dying at midnight.”

Merlin closed his eyes and hoped that whatever Gods above forgave him for what he was about to do.  “Alright.  But on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

"I won't touch or look below your waist," Merlin said firmly.  "Do you agree to this?"  
  
"Yes," Arthur reluctantly agreed.  "Can you make me forget, about my impending death?"  
  
"No," said Merlin, sounding regretful.  “The best I can do is relax you and calm you down."  
  
"Alright."  Arthur gave him a shy smile.  “How will do that?”

"I have an idea," said Merlin, suddenly inspired.  "I'd like to play manservant to you, to take care of you as I did for Arthur when we were younger."  
  
“I can definitely get behind that,” said Arthur, grinning.  “Will you dress the part?”

“Sure,” said Merlin, shrugging.  “He waved his hand and suddenly he was dressed in a threadbare blue tunic and baggy trousers.  His boots were scuffed, and a ratty red neckerchief hung around his neck.  Merlin had almost forgotten all about this look, as his clothes were of much finer quality nowadays.   Merlin stepped back into his former role as if donning an old familiar shirt.  
  
"Sire, might I suggest a hot bath after training?  You’ve worked so hard today, training the new recruits," said Merlin.  “You really put them in their place.”  
  
"Yes, good idea, Merlin," said Arthur, playing along.  "Ready my bath water."  Arthur’s voice oozed with charismatic superiority.

Merlin was impressed by how much he sounded just like his Arthur.  
  
Merlin conjured a large wash basin, filling it with warm water.  He added a touch of lavender for a calming effect.  "It’s ready, Sire,” said Merlin, giving a slight bow just for effect.  “I'll wait behind the privacy screen until you're settled in the bath."  Merlin moved behind the screen, determined to stick to his boundaries no matter how much Arthur pushed.  
  
Merlin heard Arthur removing his clothes and tossing them on the floor, followed by a loud splash.  
  
"I'm ready," Arthur called.    
  
Merlin took a cursory glance and saw that Arthur hadn't sat down.  
  
"Arthur," Merlin warned.  “Sit.”  The warlock had fully expecting Arthur to pull something like this.  He’d lived with Arthur long enough to know all his tricks.  
  
"Fine," Arthur huffed.   He climbed into the bath, the water sloshing around as he got comfortable.

Merlin waved his hand and a layer of bubbling foam covered Arthur, preserving the king’s modesty.  Only then did the warlock turn around.  
  
Once Merlin made certain that Arthur was covered, he knelt down on a pillow beside the washtub and scrubbed Arthur's back with a dry brush.  All the grime from spending the day outside was slowly washed away, turning the water a light brown.    
  
"How do you feel, Sire?" Merlin asked.    
  
"Great," Arthur moaned.  He turned around to give Merlin access to his chest.    
  
Merlin exchanged his brush for a washcloth, taking care to be extra gentle around Arthur's nipples, which had hardened in the cold.  He washed around Arthur's neck and arms, causing Arthur to sigh as he leaned his head back into Merlin's hands.  Then Merlin switched to shampoo, gently massaging Arthur's scalp as he worked the gel through Arthur's now brown hair.  
  
His eyes tightly closed, Arthur moaned his appreciation as Merlin gave him an extra long scalp massage.   When Merlin finally pulled away, Arthur whined, “Don’t stop.”  
  
“Oh, I don’t plan on it,” Merlin said coyly.  The warlock leaned down to give Arthur an upside-down kiss, their lips barely brushing. 

Arthur’s flew open and he gasped in surprise as Merlin pulled away.  “Merrrrlin,” Arthur growled.  “Get back here.”

“And what will you do if I don’t?” Merlin teased.

“I’ll put you in the stocks for a week,” Arthur threatened.

Merlin pretended to consider it.  “Eh, I’d rather not do that.  Guess I’ll kiss you again.” 

Arthur tried to reply, but Merlin’s lips descended on him, muffling any suggestive remarks.   Merlin swiped Arthur’s tongue with his own, then sucked on Arthur’s lower lip.  The king moaned and deepened the kiss much to Merlin’s delight.  Merlin let him have his fun for a few minutes before reluctantly pulling away.

“Merlin, the water’s cold,” Arthur complained. 

“It didn’t seem to bother you when I was kissing you,” Merlin reminded him.

“Can’t you just magic it warmer?”

Merlin shook his head.  “Come on, it’s time to get out.  You don’t want to end up all pruny.”  Merlin waved his hand and the water on the floor suddenly disappeared.  Then Arthur's small clothes and a robe came to rest by the side of the tub, along with a towel.  "Put these on and lie face down on the bed," the warlock instructed.  
  
"Ooh, kinky," Arthur smirked.    
  
"It's not like that, I'm going to massage your back," Merlin huffed.    
  
"Oh," said Arthur disappointed.  "Did you do this for your Arthur?"  
  
"Many times," said Merlin, his voice fond as he remembered those nights years ago.  "He really enjoyed it."  
  
Arthur's smirk returned.  “I’ll bet he did.  I’ll bet he sent you away right after you finished massaging him, so he could-”

“Arthur!”  Merlin blushed because that was _exactly_ what had happened before they’d confessed their feelings.   “Out of the tub.”

After Merlin turned his back, Arthur thankfully did what he was asked.     
  
Arthur informed Merlin that he was ready and this time he told the truth. 

Merlin found Arthur face down on the bed, his crimson robe covering his muscled form.   Merlin placed a blanket over Arthur’s lower half and magically removed the robe.  The warlock’s eyes flashed and suddenly Arthur’s hair was dry, returning it to its normal golden state.  Merlin floated a small bottle of oil over to him, something he’d done countless times, although lately it hadn’t been used for massages. 

Merlin spread enough oil to cover Arthur's back and then got to work.  He began with slow strokes down the back, using the heel of his hand for extra pressure.   Merlin used his magic to relax Arthur’s admittedly tight muscles.  He kneaded his fists into the indentation just above Arthur’s hips.    
  
"Merlin, that feels amazing," Arthur said with a sigh. 

“Thank you, Sire,” said Merlin, deciding to try something.  “I live to serve.”

Arthur snorted, looking over at the warlock.  “No, you don’t.  I’ll bet you were a terrible servant.”

Merlin grinned.  “Oh, I was the worst.  I was never on time, I was always dropping things, I would occasionally spill your wine, forget where I put your clothes...”

“Then why’d I keep you around?” Arthur asked.

“My loveable charm, I’m sure,” Merlin teased. 

“I’m sure it was because I thought you were attractive.”

“That too,” said Merlin.  “Although I was lazy with some of my chores, your armor was always in perfect condition.  When I polished it, I bespelled it, making your armor more durable.  Arthur didn’t know about that for years.”

“Less talk, more massage,” Arthur huffed. 

“Alright, you selfish prat,” Merlin sighed.   He moved up to Arthur’s shoulders and found several knots residing there.   Merlin used his thumbs to break up the tissue, gently pressing as not to aggravate the muscles.

"You can go harder on my shoulders."  
  
"Yes, Sire."  Merlin slowly dug his elbow into a tight spot by the edge of Arthur's scapula, prompting him to moan.  "Too hard?"  
  
"No, that's perfect," Arthur assured him.  
  
After giving the same treatment to Arthur's other shoulder, Merlin told the king to turn over.   
  
Arthur obeyed without protesting, which Merlin took as a sign that his massage was quite effective.  Merlin made sure Arthur’s lower half was covered.  Then he dabbed a bit of oil on his hands before cupping Arthur’s neck with his fingers.  Merlin used his thumbs to rub out Arthur’s tension spots, ending with a calming spell as he placed two fingers on Arthur’s temples.

A knock at the door startled them both. 

“Stay,” Merlin ordered as he pulled his hands away from Arthur’s head and got up to answer the knock.  “It’s probably dinner.”

Merlin was correct.  He blocked the doorway so their servant couldn’t see Arthur on the bed.  Merlin took the gleaming silver dinner tray from their servant and thanked her before sending her away for the night. 

The familiar smell alerted Arthur, who sat up in bed, the blanket tumbling off and revealing his smallclothes.

 “Onion soup.  Yum, my favorite,” Arthur enthused. 

A blushing Merlin quickly spelled Arthur’s trousers back on while trying not to look too long at Arthur’s bare chest.  “You’re not playing fair, Arthur.”

“Did you expect me to?” Arthur countered.

Not dignifying this with a response, Merlin brought the tray over and placed it in front of Arthur, who was still in bed.   Merlin tore off a piece of the freshly baked brown bread and dunked it in the soup.  Then Merlin offered it to Arthur, who obediently opened his mouth.

“Mmm,” Arthur moaned.

“You want more?” Merlin asked.

Arthur nodded. 

“Open up.”  Merlin once again fed Arthur a piece of bread, dripping with soup.

Arthur caught the extra drops with his tongue.  He swallowed the bread and deliberately licked his lips.  Arthur gazed at Merlin, pure want laid bare in his cerulean depths. 

Merlin gulped, very familiar with this expression.  It was Arthur’s ‘come hither’ look right before he took Merlin on the bed.  Or possibly the table.  There was also one time on the floor, where Merlin was propped up with pillows.   Merlin let himself be seduced by this young Arthur, nodding in agreement to whatever Arthur had in mind. 

Just after Merlin magicked the tray away, Arthur pounced.  Suddenly Merlin was laid on his back, underneath Arthur with no means of escape.   Merlin let him take control, enjoying as Arthur began kissing his way down Merlin’s neck.  He knew Arthur was leaving love bites for King Arthur to find, but right now Merlin didn’t care.  He just wanted more of Arthur’s tongue.

Arthur turned Merlin’s head back towards him, capturing Merlin’s lips and gently sucking on his tongue.   Merlin moaned, causing Arthur to suck harder, pulling away only when their lips grew too wet. 

Arthur grinned at Merlin, his eyes sparkling with mischief.  “You want me.”

“Maybe,” Merlin demurred.  “I could just be acting to make you feel better.”

Arthur glanced down at Merlin and smirked.  “I don’t think _that_ is acting.” 

Merlin rolled his eyes, and pulled Arthur back down.  He gently nipped at Arthur’s lips, causing him to open for Merlin’s questing tongue.  Their moans barely broke through the haze that settled over Merlin’s mind as Arthur swiped his tongue along Merlin’s.    Their tongues quickly grew reacquainted, much to Merlin’s delight.  After minutes of this, Merlin had to force himself not to roll his hips up to meet Arthur’s. 

Then Arthur suddenly pulled away, seizing up and turning around.

“Arthur, you alright?” Merlin sat up, alarmed.   He thought he’d heard Arthur whimper, but he couldn’t be certain.

“In a matter of speaking.”  Arthur’s face matched the crimson Pendragon blanket crumpled on the bed.  “I’m sorry, Merlin,” Arthur whimpered, glancing down at his soiled trousers.  “I didn’t mean to.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Merlin assured him.  “It’s perfectly natural.  May I clean you up with magic?”

Arthur nodded and Merlin quickly did so. 

“Thanks,” said Arthur.  

Merlin pulled Arthur close and they lay on the bed, Merlin curling up around Arthur.  They stayed that way for a few minutes before Arthur turned around.  He gazed at Merlin, contemplating something before he bravely declared, “I want to take the potion now.”

“You don’t have to, we have the rest of the night,” said Merlin, barely able to keep the panic out of his voice.

“No, I got what I asked for,” Arthur insisted.  “I’m ready, Merlin.”

Merlin gently caressed his cheek and Arthur leaned into the touch.  “I don’t want to lose you, Arthur.”

“I wish I could stay, but I’ve been living on borrowed time,” Arthur realized.  “It’s time for the King Arthur to return.”

“I’ll miss you.  Truly,” Merlin swore.  “You’ve given me much joy these past few weeks and changed me for the better.”

“It wasn’t all fun.  Remember when I got with that girl and you barged in?” Arthur sniggered.

“You didn’t have to remind me of that,” said Merlin.

Arthur chuckled.  “Jealous bastard.”

“Guilty,” Merlin admitted.  Then his expression turned serious.  “Are you sure, Arthur?”

Arthur nodded.  “I’d rather do it now and get it over with instead of worrying for the rest of the night.  I got what I asked for – I’ve never felt so cherished.  All I ask is that you remember me.”

“I could never forget you,” Merlin insisted.   He gave Arthur a gentle peck on the lips.  “I’m glad I met you, Arthur Pendragon.”  Then, with a wave of his hand, Merlin added the ghost flower to the potion, which fizzed and steamed a dark green as the final ingredient was added.  
  
"Will it hurt?" Arthur asked, indecision clouding his blue eyes.

"No,” Merlin assured him.  “Right after you swallow the potion, I'll cast a sleeping spell on you."

"Alright.  I'm ready," Arthur said, steeling himself.  “Goodbye, Merlin.  I could’ve loved you if we’d had more time.”  Arthur raised the vial and quickly gulped down the potion.

“Goodbye, Arthur,” Merlin said softly.

Arthur closed his eyes and braced for the inevitable.

“ _Swefe nu_ ,” Merlin whispered.  After a few seconds, teenage Arthur’s eyes fluttered shut for the last time.  Merlin caught Arthur’s sleeping form and lay him down on the bed.  Merlin kissed Arthur’s forehead, barely holding back tears. 

Merlin’s eyes flashed again.  He watched as Arthur's youthful face gradually aged to his rightful age of thirty.  A beard appeared on his face and the cares around Arthur’s eyes returned, but the king remained asleep. 

Merlin absentmindedly brushed Arthur’s bangs from his eyes.   “Wake up, love,” Merlin whispered, using his magic to make it so.  He prayed that he’d gotten the potion right, that all of Arthur’s memories of their life together would be returned.

"Merlin?"  Arthur stirred before opening his eyes.  He smiled happily at the warlock.  “Boy are you a sight for sore eyes.”

“Arthur, is it really you?” Merlin cried.  “Please let it be you.”

Arthur reached for Merlin’s hand and gently rubbed it with his thumb.  “It’s me.  I promise.”

“Prove it,” said Merlin.  _Please, let it have worked.  I can’t live without him._  
  
Arthur smirked at him.  “Alright.  Remember that one time in the throne room?”

Normally Merlin would’ve blushed at the mention of their sexual indiscretion, but he was too happy to care.  "It’s really you! You're back!"  Merlin threw his arms around Arthur and couldn't hold back the sobs.  “Oh, God, Arthur.” 

“I’m here,” Arthur soothed, rubbing his hands up and down Merlin’s back, trying to reassure him.  “I won’t leave you again.”

“Are you alright?  What do you remember?” Merlin worried, scooting back to really look at Arthur.  
  
Arthur stared at Merlin, doubt residing in his eyes.  "For a moment I thought you weren't going to bring me back.  I was locked inside my head and I watched you with him."  
  
"You remember the past few weeks?" Merlin gaped at him.  
  
"All of it," Arthur said grimly.  "I shouldn't have acted like that, so disrespectful.  I need to apologize to Gwen and Morgana and especially to you, after what I did with that girl and-"  
  
"It wasn't really you," Merlin insisted.  “It’s forgotten.”  
  
"Ugh,” Arthur shuddered.  “I'd forgotten how horrible I was at that age.”  
  
"I didn't think you could be worse than the person I met my first day at Camelot.  You proved me wrong.”  But Merlin’s teasing fell flat.

“Thank you for saving me,” said Arthur, resting his forehead against Merlin’s.

“I’ll always save you,” Merlin whispered.  Then he started to shake.  Merlin’s sobs returned as he remembered his crimes.

“There’s something else, isn’t there?  What’s wrong?” Arthur asked.  “Please tell me so we can fix it.”

“I’m sorry I cheated on you,” Merlin choked out.  “I hope you’ll forgive me someday.”

“You didn’t cheat,” Arthur insisted.  “You set boundaries with the other Arthur and you stuck to them.  You didn’t let it go too far.”

“But still, I enjoyed it and I shouldn’t have,” Merlin cried, clutching on to Arthur’s shoulders for dear life.  “He was so young.”

“He was me, Merlin.”  Arthur smiled sadly.  “How could I hold it against you for granting his dying wish?”

“Yes, but in the forest-”

“It doesn’t matter, alright?”  Arthur ran his fingers through Merlin’s hair in an attempt to calm him.

“How are you not jealous?”

“Oh, I was,” Arthur admitted.  “But then I realized it was silly to be jealous of myself.”

“You really forgive me?” Merlin’s sobs began to subside as Arthur kissed his forehead.

“There’s nothing to forgive.”

“Oh.”  Merlin stared at him with watery eyes.

Arthur could tell Merlin still felt miserable.  “It’s not just the cheating thing,” Arthur realized.  “You miss him.”

“Yeah,” Merlin admitted.  “But he couldn’t hold a candle to you.”

“Of course he couldn’t.”  Arthur puffed out his chest.  “Clearly I am the superior specimen.”  Much to his disappointment, Arthur’s joke didn’t work.

“I’ll need some time to process all this,” said Merlin.  “A lot happened while you were gone.”

“Take all the time you need,” Arthur said.  “If you need to be alone, I will grant your request.  But first-”  Arthur pulled Merlin in for a long kiss.  

Merlin eagerly returned the kiss.   When they broke apart for air, Merlin sighed, laying his head on Arthur’s shoulder.  “As much as I feel guilty for essentially killing young Arthur, I’d do it again so I could be with you.”

“Thanks,” Arthur said softly. 

“There’s just one more thing I want to address before I forget this whole thing,” said Merlin.

Arthur sighed.  “The time when Lord Astley’s father took advantage of me.”

“Yes.  Arthur, why didn’t you tell me?  You could’ve trusted me with your secret.”

“The same reason why you waited so long to tell me about your magic,” said the king.  “I was worried about how you’d react.  I didn’t want you to pity me or treat me differently.”

“I don’t pity you, but I wish I could’ve been there to stop it,” Merlin confessed.

Arthur gave him a wry smile.  “Yeah.  But it could’ve been much worse.  I’ve made peace with it now.”

“Does that mean I can still use my magic on you when we’re in bed?”  Merlin asked, not able to keep the hopeful note from his voice.

Arthur grinned at Merlin, relieved the warlock wasn’t fussing over him or getting upset.  “How about we do that tomorrow night, after you’ve recovered a bit from all this.”

“I’d like that.”  Merlin gave Arthur a shy smile and knew at that moment that he’d eventually be alright.

Then Arthur spotted the hickeys on Merlin’s neck.  Frowning, he traced them down to the warlock’s collarbone. “Merlin, I know it was his last day alive, but was it really necessary to let him do this?”

Merlin blushed, remembering how he hadn’t protested at all.  “Um…”

.~.

THE END!

A/N:  I hope you guys enjoyed it, especially the reunion scene.  I had so much fun writing this.  It was really different than any Merthur story I’d written before.  Thanks for all the comments and kudos.  Merthur forever!!

 


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